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CHAPTER TWENTY-ONE 
RIVER
What the hell am I doing?
“Bentley?” I ask and his hand tightens on mine. Even his gentle touch gives me so much strength, but I’m still not sure it’s enough. “How mad would you be if we just turned around and went home?”
“This house here?” he asks as he points at a neighbor’s house.
“No, the gray one. But no, I can’t,” I say as he pulls over. “Bentley.”
He pulls my hood up and yanks the strings so I can only see through the peephole he’s created. “River, I know this has to be hard and terrifying, but if you want to see them… I think you need to do it today. Okay? We’ll just peek through the window. They’ll never notice.”
“Okay. Okay. I can do this. I can see them. Quick! Before I change my mind.” My stomach is a huge knot as I anxiously stare at the house.
“Got it. You stay here, and I’ll check to see what they’re doing,” he says before getting out and sneaking through the dark up to the window. He’s like a flash of movement I can’t even follow. When he returns, he leans against the car door, so I roll the window down.
“I can’t see them, but I hear them. I’m going to knock on the door, and you should be able to see them from this angle. You stay right here, okay?”
“Yeah… just… tell them you’re lost or something. They’re super gullible and want to help everyone,” I say nervously. I feel like I shouldn’t be doing this, but I want to see them so badly. It hurts how much I want to see them.
“Okay, I’ll do that.”
I roll the window down a little, then get worried it’s down too far and they’ll see me, then I roll it back up, but when Bentley knocks on the door, I feel like I can’t see anything so I roll it down again. It’s so dark they won’t see me, right?
The door opens before my mom steps out, and it’s like someone slams into me. My throat gets tight as I stare at her. I can’t hear them, but just seeing her is enough to make me feel like I’m drowning in a wading pool.
I want to jump out and run across the road to grab onto her and tell her I’m alive. I’d tell her I’m fine, but why the hell should I do that when I’m going to die?
Mom waves behind her, and suddenly Dad is there. I have to hold myself to keep from running to them. How I hate Bentley at this moment for getting to speak to them. And there I am, glued to them, watching their every move. All too quickly, they pat Bentley’s shoulder and give him a wave before closing the door and it’s all over.
“No, no, no…” I whisper. How could he be done? He needs to ask them more. He needs to keep them talking. They barely talked to him. I need to see more of them.
Bentley opens the door and I grab him.
“You need to go back.” My voice sounds so urgent and anxious.
“Why?” he asks as he starts to get in.
“It wasn’t long enough.”
“I played dumb for like five minutes. Any more, and I’m positive they’d have asked me to move in with them. Hey, are you okay?”
I’m not sure if I am. “Yes,” I say as I see a light turn on behind the house and realize what’s happening. “Was there a dog with them?”
“Yeah, it barked when I knocked—where are you going?”
I jump out into the street and run across the yard to the back of the house where it would be hard to see me. I climb over the wooden privacy fence as the dog hears me and comes barking, probably wondering what the noise was.
“Amara!” I whisper as the large mutt steps around the corner of the backyard and looks in my direction in confusion. She’s a black mix I’d gotten from the Humane Society six years ago with short hair, a boxy face, and a long tail. “Amara,” I whisper again, and she slowly walks over to where I’m kneeling in the shadow of the yard, pressed against the house where my parents couldn’t see me.
And then she lets out this heart-wrenching whine as she rushes over to me and slams her body against mine. She’s crying and whining and pawing at me as she barrels me onto my back and licks me as her tail beats against my bent leg.
“Hey, baby girl,” I say as I hold her close while she vibrates with joy. The noises she’s making push a smile onto my face, and I grab her like she’s still a puppy and drag her into my arms as Bentley drops down beside me. Amara doesn’t even bother looking at him; she’s too fixated on me. I dig my fingers into her short hair as I press my face against her neck.
“I’m so sorry. I didn’t mean to leave you. I’m so sorry. It’s clear Mom and Dad are taking good care of you,” I tease as I shake her slightly chubby sides. “I’m so sorry I left you. I promised I’d never leave you.”
She licks my face, instantly forgiving me. And that’s the moment I hear the back door open. “Amara?” Mom calls.
Fuck. Fuck. Fuck.
I kiss her face as Bentley grabs me and drags me to my feet. Amara rears up and grabs me with her paws, like she doesn’t want me to go and knows I’m leaving, but maybe I’m projecting human emotions onto an animal.
“Amara, come here. Come on. Amara, where are you?” Mom asks, sounding a bit anxious.
Bentley picks me up and jumps the fence where he squats down on the other side so we won’t be seen, arms wrapped around me.
Amara lets out a pitiful noise as I hear her begin clawing at the fence and jumping on it.
“Amara, don’t scare me like that,” Mom says. “You scared me when you weren’t waiting at the door. Come on, what’s wrong?”
I can hear Amara pacing the fence as she cries, and I don’t know if it’s her or Mom’s voice that makes the wall I’ve built up crumble to pieces. I begin to cry as I keep my face pressed against Bentley’s chest.
“Come on. I know, but I can’t lose you. I promised River I would never let anything happen to you. So come along, baby girl,” Mom says as the sounds of her and Amara grow farther away even as the dog still whines.
The door shuts and the light turns out, immersing me in darkness.
Bentley holds me to him in the silence of the night as I cry for the first time in a long while. He pushes my hair back and kisses the side of my head as he holds me close. “I’m sorry. We shouldn’t have come.”
“No, I wouldn’t change this for anything,” I say. “They’re happy tears that I finally get to see them again. Okay? Let’s get a hotel room… unless you need to get back tonight?”
“No, I’m good.
“Did… Did my parents like your mesh shirt?”
“They loved it. Your dad even asked if my nipples were getting cold.”
I start laughing because I know Bentley isn’t making it up. That’s definitely something he’d ask.
OceanofPDF.com

CHAPTER TWENTY-TWO 
RIVER
When we reach the hotel, it’s extremely apparent that Bentley would like to change out of the mesh shirt before going up to the counter, but it’s also extremely apparent that I love him in the mesh shirt and would prefer he never change. I think it’d look even sexier with his badge and handcuffs as well.
“You know what color I look good in?” he asks. “Red.” He waves around the shirt he’d originally been wearing, like I couldn’t tell it was red or less see-through.
“But the issue is, I’m a mesh kind of man.”
He raises an eyebrow like he could find me even remotely suspicious. I grin at him before heading inside and going up to the counter. I use the cash Corbyn gave me, even though Bentley assures me he can pay for it. Why would I use Bentley’s money when I can use that conniving asshole’s? At least he hasn’t harassed me lately and is letting things quiet down a bit first.
Bentley tries to be nonexistent as he wears his mesh up the elevator next to some man in a suit. I grin at the look on his face as the man eyes him and not in a good way. Bentley has to realize I’m loving this too much.
“Come on, did you bring the handcuffs?” I ask as I give him a tug, which makes the man scowl at us.
“I brought my badge. Does that work?” Bentley asks as I lead him toward our room.
“It’d be a bit hard to tie me up with it, but it’ll work, I guess,” I tease. “Did you see the looks you were getting? That man wanted to have your babies.”
Bentley snorts. “The man who looked like he hated my very existence?”
“It was like a secret love, obviously.”
He raises an eyebrow. “Obviously, I missed that.”
I run the card and pull him inside before turning to him. “Thank you,” I say as I wrap my arms around him. I want to kiss him and touch him and feel him, but I don’t want to push him into something. It was wrong of me to even get close to him, so I can’t expect him to invest more in me. This is enough—even if I want more, it’s good just having him beside me.
He squeezes me to him. “You’re welcome. I’m sorry I couldn’t do more.”
“You did more than I could have asked for. I’m going to take a shower and if you just wanted to save time, you could accidentally stumble in too,” I say, wanting to lean in to kiss him, but instead, I just give his bearded cheek a little pat. It has to be his idea.
I head into the bathroom, leaving the door cracked. Telepathically—which is a power I definitely don’t possess—I’m trying to coerce him into the bathroom. I just want him to rush in and grab me and fuck me into ecstasy. Instead, he’s standing right inside the doorway with his mesh shirt on and a defiant attitude.
“Wow, this bathroom sure is nice,” I say loudly as I pull my shirt off and whip it at the door, lassoing the door handle as I drag it open. “Oh no, my shirt got stuck on the door.” I hold my hands over my nipples like I’m shy or some shit, even though Bentley’s nipples have been quite on display through his mesh shirt for half the day.
Bentley leans against the doorframe as he watches me with an amused look on his face. “You seem to be having a lot of issues there.”
“I probably just need a big strong man to help me.”
“Really? You’re so stubborn and capable on your own that I would never have guessed you wanted to rely on a man to save you,” he says.
I hesitate, because he’s very right. “Yes but… well… dammit, Bentley. Don’t give me your sass. I’m role-playing here. Oh, woe is me! Sexy man, come sweep me off my feet!” I turn to look at him as he continues to stare at me in his mesh.
“How’s that working out for you?” he asks.
“Not well, honestly,” I say before swinging the door shut on him and pushing my pants down so I can step into the shower. “This large bathtub is so lonely.”
“That sounds awful,” he says from right outside the shower. I didn’t even hear him enter, but I guess when you have bat blood running through your veins, it’s not surprising.
“Who will wash that spot on my back I just can’t reach?”
He yanks the curtain open and quite clearly eyes me, even though he’s still fully clothed. “Hmm…”
“Oh my god. What’s that mean?” I ask.
“It means you’re evil, tempting me into joining you, and it also means that I’m easily suckered in.” He steps into the drier end of the tub fully clothed.
“I’m horribly confused what’s happening. Like… are you joining me? Are you just tempting me more? At this point, I’m horny and confused and it’s a bit of a turn-on,” I tease.
“I’m getting these clothes wet so you can’t ever make me put them on again,” he says before stepping into the stream of water with me. “Maybe I’ll even tear them off.”
I grab his hands before he can. “No. I love them. You can’t harm them.”
“Yeah, but won’t you love them more once they’re shredded into tiny little pieces?” he asks as I grab the bottom of his shirt and look up for permission to remove it.
“No,” I say as he steps closer, which I deem as permission. I slide my hands under the shirt, running them up his bare skin as I draw the sodden shirt over his head and drape it over the tub wall. “Please do know I’m only joking and you don’t have to do this.”
His hands slide around my hips before hooking and pulling me forward. “I’ve had trouble resisting you from the moment I saw you, River. Trust me, you’re not pushing me into anything,” he says before his lips press against mine. I sink into him as the hot water beats down on my back. My hands slide down to his hips as I unbutton his pants and push them down. He kicks them off before pulling me in close to him so I can feel his naked body against mine, his cock pressed up against me.
His mouth opens up against mine as I lean into him, wanting to feel him and touch him because I’m driven crazy by him. I can never get enough of him and I hope and pray he feels the same way. His hand slides down to my ass, cupping it as his lips part and his tongue brushes against mine.
“Did you bring anything?” he asks as he pulls back from the kiss.
“I did! I carry stuff on me all the time just in case I finally managed to break you down,” I say with an extremely innocent grin.
“You didn’t have to ‘break me down.’ I already told you I wanted you. Seeing you like this was driving me crazy.” He grabs the soap and rubs it on his palm before sliding his hand up my side.
I never realized touch could feel so good as I lean into him while his hand snakes down my body, stroking and rubbing. His hand slips down, wrapping around my cock for just a teasing moment before moving down my thighs. It’s not enough and I want more. I suddenly realize that I can do more than just lean into him and get washed away in the pleasure.
I grab the soap and run it over my hand before sliding my fingers down his chest to his thigh, then back before I squeeze the globe of his perfect ass. “Damn vampires and their perfectness.”
“Am I being harassed? I finally caved in, and now I’m being harassed.”
“Yeah, pretty much. It’s part of my love language. For others, it’s like ‘spending time together’ and mine is just pure harassment, bat boy.”
He grins at me as he pushes me under the water and turns it off. “So you say, meat pie.” He pushes the curtain back and grabs a towel which he tosses over my head.
“Are you sick of looking at me already?”
“A bit,” he teases as he runs the towel down my back. “When I look at you, I get tempted into doing the most ludicrous things. I let you be a supervillain, I let you talk me into breaking into a cattle pasture, I let you force me to play Monopoly. The list goes on.”
I grin at him. “Sounds like it’s hard to deal with. Really a tough life. I mean… getting annihilated in Monopoly must have left some lasting scars.”
He nods. “It did. I kept having dreams with you in it, and instead of sexy dreams, you were wearing the Monopoly man hat and just kept saying ‘don’t pass go.’”
“Wow, that’s scarring. Are you okay?” I ask, while trying to look like I’m very concerned about this.
“Barely,” he says as he tosses the towel and picks me up a moment before I hit the bed on my back with him straddling me.
“Do you think if I touch your penis it’ll make you forget the trauma?” I ask as I grab his cock in my hand.
“Hmm… maybe a little bit,” he says with a grin before kissing me again. When he breaks from the kiss I grumble until he says, “Where’s the stuff at?”
“Oh! I got it,” I say as I slip out from under him and rush over to my pants, picking them up to grab my wallet. I grab the lube packet and condom before rushing over to the bed and climbing onto his lap. As I tear the packet open, I kiss his lips, astounded we’re making progress.
“You’re strangely prepared.”
“Not for this, no. I just heard condoms were really good for opening a stuck jar. You just pop it on top and instant hand grip. That’s the only reason I’ve been carrying one around.”
“You… often come across bottles you can’t open?”
“Far too much. And the lube was for greasing up… stuff, obviously. I didn’t at all plan to have you take me to an amusement park and fuck me in the car or something weird,” I say as I tear open the packet of lube. After I squirt some onto my hand, he takes it from me.
“I’m surprised you weren’t planning for something R-rated on the carousel or something after dark.”
“Ooh, that’s a good one. Especially with that music they play, it’d be the best sex jam ever.”
“Would it?” he asks suspiciously.
“Of course,” I say, unable to keep the grin off my face. “If I had my phone, I’d play it and you could fuck me to the beat.”
“I don’t think carousel songs have a ‘fucking beat,’ but I could be wrong.”
Still grinning, I lean in and kiss him again while I reach down to his hard cock and run my fingers down it. Heat and desire rise in me as his hand moves down my ass and his finger brushes over me. When I press my cock against his, his finger pushes inside me teasingly slow as I ache to feel more of him. He slides in, pushing his finger deep inside of me before pulling back and rubbing me slowly. My hand slides down his cock as he pushes another finger inside me, opening me up gradually as his mouth captures my lips.
He breaks from the kiss before running soft kisses down my cheek. “It’s completely up to you but we don’t need to use a condom if you don’t want. With me being a vampire, there’s really no need, but I also understand wanting to use one. I don’t care either way.”
“Then I’m good without it,” I say as I toss the unopened condom to the side. He lifts me up and rolls me onto my back where he settles between my legs. I pull him in close and he rubs more lubricant on me before kissing me again.
“Are you good?”
I nod. “Just don’t touch my neck.”
“I won’t. I promise,” he says as his cock brushes against my opening. I feel the broad head as he slowly pushes into me. I hook my legs around him, wanting to pull him close as he continues pressing inside, filling me up. He’s so careful and caring during every step of it. I moan as he holds me close and slowly rocks his hips. His hand wraps around my cock as heat rises inside me. It’s been a long time since I’ve had sex, so I feel extremely sensitive and everything he does is making my cock throb. As his hand moves tantalizingly slow down my cock, his thrusts quicken.
I can’t believe I’m finally having sex with Bentley. I’d assumed nothing would ever come of it, and I knew he was the only one I wanted to have sex with before the surgery happens. It was him or nothing and that tells me just how much I love having him with me. How much he means to me.
I run my fingers over his sides before digging them into his back as heat fills me. I’m overcome with the desire I have for him, with the need for him to hold me and be there for me as he moves inside me. How can one man make me feel so much?
Every touch sets my body on fire and my desire burns deep for him.
That’s when I notice his face is dangerously close to my neck. He must notice the tension in my body because he tucks his head down and kisses my shoulder.
“Sorry, you okay?” he asks.
“I’m fine,” I assure him, wanting to get lost back into that world again, and I do as he thrusts into me.
I know I can’t take much more. And when he hits the sweet spot inside me that makes my toes curl and my body shiver with pleasure, I know I can’t hold on much longer. His hand on my cock quickens as he drives me over the edge. I grab onto him desperately as I come. Pleasure consumes me as his hand draws my orgasm out of me and his pace increases. He groans as he comes inside me, his thrusts slowing. He stills inside of me as he kisses my cheek before gently pulling out of me and drawing me up against him.
His fingers slide up my side as I feel a headache brewing. But I do my best to keep Bentley from noticing as I lean into him and just feel him in the silence of the room. I do notice the way he holds me is a lot tighter than usual, and I wonder if he’s regretting this. Did he get too close to me like he feared? Was I the selfish one? Of course I was selfish.
“Are you good?” I ask.
“Yes. I’m more than good.” He smiles as he showers me in kisses, and I realize that it’s awful, but I’m so glad I was selfish because I need him… I need this more than anything.
OceanofPDF.com

CHAPTER TWENTY-THREE 
BENTLEY
When I found out that Watson wanted to do the surgery this week, I didn’t know what to say or do. Of course, I smiled and told River that was awesome, because I didn’t want him thinking I was against his decision, but was it selfish to want a month or two with him? What if he doesn’t survive? What if today is the last day I see River?
From the bedroom doorway, I can see River sitting on the couch with Banshee in his arms. He’s whispering to her like it’s something private but I can hear it clearly.
“You be a good girl, alright? If I don’t come back, you be good. And don’t think it’s because I don’t love you. I know you’ve been abandoned before, and I don’t want to abandon you like they did, but you’ll be with good people, okay?”
I step into the living room and he turns to look at me.
River gently pulls Banshee’s ear as she leans into him and purrs loud enough I can hear her. “Bentley. I know this is super selfish, but if… I… don’t come back here, can you find a good place for Banshee?”
“I would take her myself, and I’d never let her go anywhere else,” I say, even though the cat clearly hates me. But if it means that I would have something precious to River, I’d never let her go.
He gives me a huge smile, like the biggest weight has been lifted off his shoulders. “Really? Are you sure? You don’t have to. I mean if you find her a good home elsewhere, I’d be happy but… I’d be really happy if I know she’s with you but don’t feel like I’m guilting you into taking her—”
“River,” I say, cutting off his rambling.
He stares at me as I walk over to him and kneel down beside him. “Yes?”
“I promise I’ll take amazing care of Banshee,” I say as I reach out to pet her. She tips her head back, yowls, and bites my hand. At least she’s no longer drawing blood which must mean she’s growing to tolerate me more. “See? No blood. She already likes me.”
River’s giving me such a genuine smile that it hurts. “Thank you. I promise she’ll grow to like you.”
“We won’t need to worry about it, okay?”
“Okay,” he says.
“Ready?”
Why did this day have to come? Why is it already here?
He gives me a confident smile before giving Banshee one more kiss and reaching out to me. I take his hand in mine and together, we head toward the door.
We’re meeting Watson at a location he gave us, after telling us he has everything under control with legalities and other things. How he’s able to have it under control, I’m not sure. But maybe he has a way of forging things? Sometimes vampires take it upon themselves to do things “their way” instead of the legal way, which is why the VRC stays quite busy.
I don’t let go of River’s hand the entire time in the car and I feel like we’re both doing everything we can to just smile and pretend like nothing’s wrong when we’re both panicking inside. At least, I am. Maybe he’s come to terms with it after everything that’s happened in his life.
“Are you good?” I ask.
He nods vigorously. “Yep. Good. Fine. Yep. I don’t want to die.”
“I’m sorry,” I say, not sure what I should or shouldn’t say. “I’m really sorry.”
“It’s okay. I really… I mean… I’m scared.” River looks at me as I pull up to the location. “I’m really scared, but there’s a chance, and if there’s a chance I want to take it. You promise me you’ll be nearby, though? You won’t let someone take me like Novak did, right?”
I squeeze his hand. “I promise.”
When we park the car, neither of us move. Instead, I grab onto him and pull him close to me, squeezing him tightly.
River turns to me. “I know it’s way too early for this, but I love you. And I don’t know if it’s like hardcore love you or like you’re an awesome person, I love you. But I do and I want to thank you for doing all of this for me. You didn’t have to help me or stick around after I lied to you, but thank you.”
I press my lips against his forehead before saying, “I love you the exact same way. And this was my choice too. It doesn’t matter how long… how long… I’m with you, I don’t regret a moment of it besides the mesh shirt and the unicorn porn.” God, this man is going to kill me. Why does it have to hurt so fucking much?
He grins at me. “I would have assumed you would have regretted me drugging you, abducting you, and tying you up, but nope. The mesh shirt.”
I grin at him before kissing him tenderly. “I just blocked those out of my memory, but the mesh? That left me with some scars.” After a moment wound in each other’s arms, he takes a deep breath and turns to me.
“Okay. I’m ready. Let’s go.”
I get up and meet him on the outside of the car. Together, we walk through the front door of the outpatient surgery center and head to the department Watson pointed us toward. They give him a gown to change into and leave us alone for a while before Watson comes in and smiles at us.
“So I just want to go over things with you again, make sure you’re doing alright, and then we’ll go from there, okay?” Watson asks.
River nods, leaving Watson to go over things he’d already discussed. I can tell River is struggling to stay focused, but he nods at all the right spots.
Watson gives him a reassuring smile. “I know you’re very concerned, River, but I promise you I’ll do everything I can. I wouldn’t be trying it if I weren’t positive there is the possibility of a good outcome. Just from the tests we’ve done, it’s clear the tumor is growing to the point that within a few weeks, you’ll be having much more severe symptoms, okay?”
River nods. “I know. I’m fine. I’m happy with my choice.”
Watson reaches out and gives his hand a squeeze. “Good. Me too.” He turns to me. “I haven’t seen Finn in a while. He hasn’t tried taking on a vampire army lately?” he jokes.
“Not recently. He’s caught up in a new case at the moment. We all are.”
Watson gives a sad look as he nods. “Ah, I heard about that. Young woman drowned in the river a couple of weeks back, didn’t she? Do they think it was an accident or maybe a killer?”
“I can’t say much about it,” I admit. Although, at this time, we honestly don’t know much about it. All we know is that two teenagers saw the college student’s body floating in the river. The presence of the body and the death of one of our own wiped the previous case clean off our radar. All of this shit happening couldn’t have started at a worse time. I seem to be the only one who cares that River’s case isn’t closed, but the higher-ups are sated because Huang is dead and Tabitha Herald is behind bars for a crime I’m not even sure she committed—although I still think behind bars is where she deserves to be.
Watson sighs. “Keep an eye on Finn for me, please? Maybe I’ll give you guys like a kill switch. So when he runs off to do something stupid, you press a button and his leg stops working,” he says with a smile.
“Just don’t give it to Karsyn. I think he’d be hitting that thing every time Finn speaks,” I say, which makes Watson laugh.
“Alright, alright. I’m going to give you guys a few minutes and send the anesthesiologist in shortly to talk to you,” he says as he gives River another smile before heading out the door.
Now that we’re alone, I step up to the bed and hold out my hand, which River immediately takes. His grip is tight, and I can feel a slight tremor to his hand. I kneel down next to his bed and give him a smile, even though everything inside me is threatening to crash. I have to be strong and confident for him, even if this might be my last moment with him.
“Maybe while you’re recovering, I can sneak Banshee in and no one will notice,” I say.
“Don’t vampires have like supersonic hearing and smelling? Won’t they sniff her out?”
“I’ll be lightning fast,” I assure him.
He smiles at me. “Okay. I’d like that.”
“Good. And maybe I’ll even study up on Monopoly so I can smoke you next time.”
He shakes his head. “I’m not scared of you and your lack of Monopoly knowledge.”
The anesthesiologist comes in and talks to River, and then it’s time to let him go. I’m not ready and I can tell he’s not either, but he gives me a smile. It’s like he’s trying his absolute best to pretend to be confident and I know he’s doing it for me.
“I’ll see you in a little bit,” I say as I lean into him and give him a kiss.
He grabs my face in his hands and holds me down to him. “It’ll be okay, right? It’ll be okay…”
I’m not sure if he’s trying to reassure me or himself, but I tighten my grip on him, praying this won’t be the last time I hold on to him. “Yes. It’ll be fine. Of course it’ll be fine. And when this works and you get better, you can see your family again, and I can show them how I look in something other than a mesh shirt.”
He smiles at me then kisses me again before letting go. And there I am, left standing alone in the room as they push River out. Watson had told me to stay in his room since we were keeping everything quiet, and that’s fine with me because I’m not sure I could find the strength to leave this spot. I still don’t understand how he’s forging everything, but something I’ve long since learned is that older vampires can get away with things you don’t always think they could.
And I definitely don’t want to be in a waiting room where people could look at me, so as I watch the door swing shut behind him, I’m left alone. I sink down in a chair as the façade I’d put up plummets.
This is why I hate humans. This is why I should just be alone and stop caring. Why? Why does this shit have to happen to me? Why am I always left alone?
I cover my face in my hands and try to calm myself, but I feel like I’m a wreck. And all I have left to do is wait in agony for hours.
The room seems deathly quiet as I wait, wondering if that was the last time I’d ever see River. Is this the end of it?
I push the negative thoughts back. I can’t keep fixating on them, so instead, I try to think of the positives.
The hours drag on and on, leaving me to anxiously wait.