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CHAPTER THIRTEEN 
     
ROWAN
Scott is silent for half the drive, which is unbelievable. And when he finally does speak, he turns to me and says, “What the fuck is going on? You’re acting weird.”
“That wasn’t the woman you showed me the picture of,” I say. “That isn’t the woman you told me escaped.”
“Sure as fuck isn’t the woman they showed me a picture of either. To my understanding, there was an alarm at the prison and an alert that two convicts escaped, but that woman was not one of them.”
“What do you think is going on?” I ask.
“Hell if I know. Just… stay quiet for a bit. I’ll contact you when I need you.”
“Okay,” I reply, and we say nothing else the whole way to the motel. All I can think about is how the moment that monster turned on Quinn, I was ready to throw my life right out the window to keep him safe. I couldn’t handle the idea that he could get hurt or even killed. But I’ve known the man a little over a week, and I’m ready to just give up everything for him? It makes no sense. None at all.
Fuck.
Talon is eagerly waiting for me when I walk into the motel room. I grab my bottle of pills and crash onto the bed as he crawls up beside me. “You’re a good boy, aren’t you?” I ask as I ruffle his ears.
He pants in my face, because he seems to think I’m fond of it, even though I’m actually a bit disgusted by it. But I kiss his forehead anyway and then pin him down, which makes him play bite me and wiggle around.
I need to get my head back in order, so why aren’t these pills doing anything?
      
When Scott parks outside town hall in Winsford Village a few days later, I’m a bit wary. Why he was insistent on bringing me again, I’ll never know. Why I was just fine hopping in the car with him, I’ll also never know. There wasn’t even a moment of hesitation. Instead, I just rushed right over.
“What do you want?” Graham growls as he walks toward us with his arms over his chest.
“I’d like to talk to Quinn,” Scott says, standing tall, like he’s trying his absolute best not to be too intimidated by Graham.
“What? More ‘mandatory’ house checks? More invasions of our privacy?” Graham asks.
Scott scowls at him. “Do you want one? Because if you keep it up, I’ll get you one.”
“Please, that’s enough,” Quinn says as he quickly walks onto the scene. I notice his eyes don’t meet mine this time and it bothers me. Is he not consumed by thoughts of me like I am of him? Is he not controlled by wanting to know every single thing I’m doing when he’s not in front of me like I am? Has he not been lying awake at night, longing to get back to me?
“I’d like a meeting,” Scott says.
“Fine,” Quinn says as he waves to the front door. “Graham, can you get the others?”
“Of course,” Graham says before glaring at me, like I’ve caused the issues here, not Scott, not the monster in the forest, not the men who tranquilized the woman and dragged her off, but me.
“Go head inside, Scott,” Quinn says. The moment Scott passes through the door, I grab Quinn’s arm.
“What are you doing?” I ask.
“With?” he asks, voice toying with me.
How can he act so calm? Does he not realize what he’s doing to me? “Why are you ignoring me?”
Quinn reaches up and wraps a hand around my throat before shoving me off him and slamming me into a pillar. “Ignoring you?” he asks, dangerously close to me. If I just step forward a few inches, I could feel him, drag him into me, kiss him, make him mine.
What is wrong with me?
“I’m not ignoring you. You chose to live a life as a human, which, I’ll admit, irritated me. Because I’m not a freak, Rowan. None of the people I love in this village are freaks or unnatural. They’re all a huge part of my life, and I love and embrace every one of them.”
I grab for him, pulling him toward me. I’m surprised when he doesn’t resist but he also doesn’t cave in to me. His body is stiff as he watches me closely. “I didn’t mean it like that,” I say.
“But that’s what you feel, right?” Quinn asks, mouth dangerously close to mine. “You feel like you could never fraternize with a shifter.”
Why does he make me feel so out of control? When I pull him into me, I feel like I’m in control, but I’m not. He’s controlling all of me and I love it.
Quinn nips my lip and a groan escapes me, like all my built-up frustration is being released because I need to touch him and the moment he touches me it all goes away. The moment he’s with me, all this chaos in my brain just fucking melts and my mind is clear.
“You want me to give in to you, don’t you?” Quinn whispers against my lips.
“Yes,” I breathe.
“But I won’t,” he says, mischievous grin playing at his lips. “If you want to give in to me, come see me.” He brushes his face against mine before stepping away and heading into the building. It takes me a full minute to realize that I was just ready to hand it all over because it felt so right. It felt better than I ever imagined.
Graham steps up and looks over at me before scowling. He leans in and sniffs me, which is when I realize why Quinn rubbed his face against mine. He was trying to mark me like some animal. Like some possession. And it feels strangely right.
“I don’t know what kind of game you’re playing, but don’t fuck with my brother, got it?” Graham asks.
I look at the man who is slightly taller than me. I’m leaning against a beam for support, standing here aching for more of Quinn, and he’s worried about his brother? “I’m pretty sure Quinn can handle himself.”
Graham snorts before giving me a cocky grin. “You’re right. He can.” And then he disappears inside.
Ari grins at me, looking horribly mischievous as he hangs on Logan’s arm. “You need to work a little harder. Just smack Quinn’s ass when he’s not looking, I assure you he’ll love it.”
I glare at him as I push off the pillar. “I have no idea what you’re talking about,” I say before heading inside. There are two seats open, one across from Quinn and the other next to Logan. I go for the one next to Logan, but Kaiya skirts past me and takes it. So I sit down across from Quinn.
I feel weird as I sit here, like my skin is trying to crawl off my body. Like there’s something wrong with my body. I want to shed my human skin and just… what? Prance across the table as a leopard and hope Quinn pets me? Why?
“Alright, so what are you wanting to talk about?” Quinn asks.
Scott clears his throat. “They’re lying to me. That woman from yesterday, she wasn’t the woman I was told we were looking for. And now that I’m thinking about it, I feel like this whole thing has been a mess of ‘how to keep me entertained.’ Like searching your village. What the hell were we searching for? I was contacted after an emergency breach at the prison and yet they’ve just dragged me around through all of this nonsense. Now I don’t like dealing with your kind, but right now, you’re the only one who seems to know what’s going on.”
“All I know is that I don’t want them anywhere near my pack.”
“Understandable. But there’s something more going on here. You saw that shifter. That wasn’t natural.” Scott leans in as his eyes stay adhered to Quinn’s.
“It wasn’t. I don’t even know what she was, but what I do know is if I start sniffing around, that’s it. I’ll lose my pack and my pack will lose their homes. I don’t have the freedom humans have. I have to be good and keep my head down and mouth shut.”
Scott leans back in his chair. “Well, what if I told you they’re nosing into your village because they’re trying to see what’s here? They had a strange interest in the IDs of everyone here… almost like they’re looking into you guys.”
I still, but the rage on Quinn’s face is what makes me go into high alert.
“And what’s that matter to them?” he growls.
“I don’t know why that matters to them, but maybe you’ll be more likely to listen to me,” Scott says with a grin, like he knows he has Quinn.
“What are you wanting from me?” he asks.
“To know what they’re doing.”
“How?”
“Follow them.”
“I don’t know where they went!”
Scott won’t be deterred. “If I figure it out, will you search the area? I want to know how these people got out because none of the IDs or information I was given belong to that woman. Was it even the prison they escaped from? Maybe there’s something more going on that we don’t know about.”
Quinn’s irritated as his gaze snaps over to mine and holds onto it longer than necessary. Just the idea that he’s annoyed at Scott makes me annoyed at him too.
“If you find some information, reach out to me. Until then, I hope I don’t see your face.”
“Same here,” Scott says before standing up. “Come on, Rowan.”
I stand up and go with him rather grudgingly. Even if I ache to stay, I know I have to go. Because I’m afraid of what I’ll do if I stay.
OceanofPDF.com

CHAPTER FOURTEEN 
     
ROWAN
My body throbs. I haven’t been able to sleep for two nights and functioning during the day is painful. It’s like my body isn’t even mine anymore. Like I’m moving around in a shell of my former self, confused and hating every moment of it.
Why can’t I escape this?
My mind is consumed by thoughts of freedom, but those thoughts revolve around running on four legs with a black and gray wolf by my side. This is his fault. All of this is his fault because ever since I met him, I’ve lost control of everything.
I grab my phone, anger rippling through me as I call Quinn, prepared to make him understand what he’s done to me.
“Hello?” he asks.
The moment I hear his voice, everything feels better. But I know I can’t just give in to it. “What the hell have you done to me?”
He sighs and I instantly regret my words. “Dear god, Rowan. Stop acting like I’ve ruined your life. I’m tired of the hot and cold shit from you. I don’t know what you want me to say or do. I’m sorry you feel like this. I’m sorry you don’t know what’s going on. I’m sorry you hate a part of yourself that you can’t change. But I did nothing to you to cause this.”
I know. I know. God, simply hearing his voice, no matter how irritated at me it might sound, just calms and fixes it all.
“I can’t… I can’t live my life like you can,” I say, and my voice comes out almost pleading.
“Then don’t! Then take your drugs and go back home and continue living your life.”
But I can’t. I can’t move. I can’t comprehend the idea of just leaving. Why does he do this to me?
The silence weighs heavy between us as I realize I don’t know what else to say. I don’t even know what I was planning on saying when he answered.
“Rowan… I really am sorry I can’t hand you a fix. I’m sorry I can’t make everything right for you. If I could, I assure you I would try because it bothers me seeing you like this. But this is… how life goes. Honestly, I think if you were to head home and just stop seeing me, it’d get better,” Quinn says, voice gentle.
I nod, even knowing he can’t see me do so. “Okay. Thank you, and I’m sorry.”
“Okay. Then this is it, alright? Don’t come with Scott anymore, don’t call me anymore. Just fight it off and I think things will go back to normal.”
“You’re right.” What is “normal”? Being alone, with my father my only family around? That cold room he’d lock me in? The way he’d tell me how wrong I was?
“Goodbye, Rowan.” And then he hangs up and I feel like my leopard explodes inside my body. I fall to my knees as my body aches, my limbs distorting. The pain spikes inside me because it feels like my body is fighting against the shift or maybe the drugs are making it nearly impossible.
I can hear Talon anxiously whining, confused about what’s happening as I roll onto my side. My fingers desperately dig into my arms, hugging my body as I cry out in pain. The shift never seems to end before I’m left panting as I roll onto my paws, limbs shaking.
Slowly, I rise up in my leopard form. I feel strangely constricted until I realize I’m still wearing my shirt and boxers. I paw at them and rub against the side of the bed until I’m able to drag them off my body. Then I head to the door as Talon watches me in confusion. He’s anxious and I don’t blame him. His dad has just writhed around on the ground for five minutes before shifting into a leopard. I reach the door handle and rear up before pawing at it and gnawing on it until I get the door opened.
Once Talon slips out with me, I pull the door closed and start running. Talon, thrilled with the run, merrily chases after me, but I have a drive pushing me unlike anything ever has before.
      
QUINN
“Stabbing your plate solves nothing,” Ari says as he twirls his noodle around his fork then pops it into his mouth. We’re sitting in the dining hall as a large pack eating together. Or at least trying to before my so-called friend decided to be evil to me.
“Yeah? Want to see what a bit of stabbing can solve?” I ask as I hold up my knife and fork while glaring at him.
“He’s all bark and no bite,” Kaiya says, so I give her a little stab with my fork. “Dammit, Quinn!”
“I wanted to prove you wrong. I have a lot of bite. Have you seen my shiny white teeth? They’re generally coated in the blood of my enemies, but today, I thought I’d wear them white.”
She stares at me, clearly unimpressed. “You’re usually our entertainment but since you met Hunkalicious, you’ve just turned a bit boring, if I’m being honest. A bit moody or angsty.”
“Boring?” Ari asks in awe before giving Logan’s broad chest a smack. “Hell no. Logan and I run bets every night on what’s going to happen next.”
I turn my narrowed eyes to Logan who gives me a sheepish look. “You too?”
“It makes Ari happy,” he says, like he’ll burn the world down just to get a little smile out of Ari… I’m positive he would. I’m not sure if that’d be classified as cute or insane. But they work.
“Alright. Nothing is happening next. Nothing is going on. I’m sorry I’ve been so distracted with things lately. My head has been a mess and we have much more important things to worry about.”
“Than Hunkalicious? Nah,” Kaiya says.
“Who are you calling that?” Graham asks as he quickly sits down with his plate.
“Rowan,” Kaiya says, not at all aware that she’s just twisting the knife that’s solidly in place in Graham’s shriveled-up heart. I think it’s got the whole sword in the stone thing going on by now.
Graham growls extra loud, in case his face didn’t clearly show his dissatisfaction. “What is so… nice about him anyway?”
“He’s hot,” Ari says.
“He’s got really nice hair,” Logan adds.
“Just the right amount of muscle and don’t get me started on that smile!” Kaiya says.
And for some reason, I’m now glaring at them as much as Graham is but for a whole different reason. How dare they check out what is mine?
Mine?
He’s not mine. I have to be ill.
“He’s been a soldier, and I bet he looks mighty fine in a uniform,” Ari says.
“I was once a lifeguard and I have a uniform from it if you like uniforms,” Logan says as he watches Ari in anticipation.
Ari’s eyes get huge. “Did you wear a Speedo?”
“I did.” It’s clear Logan is pleased by Ari’s reaction.
Ari grabs his heart then snatches up a noodle. “Quick! Do a Lady and the Tramp with me!”
“I… don’t know what that is,” he says, which is instantly our new topic of debate.
Kaiya’s eyes get huge. “What are you?”
“He can’t be human,” Graham says. “Even Quinn and I know what that is!”
“We were going to go home and have frisky time but now we have to go home and watch Disney movies. Be prepared, my sweet summer child, every parent in almost every Disney movie will die a horrible death.”
“Which is Ari’s favorite part,” I say.
Ari gives me a wicked grin. “Logan has such a big heart. Wait until he sees The Lion King.” Then as Ari does his best evil laugh, Logan just smiles lovingly at him. He doesn’t care at all that he’s in love with a mini monster.
As we finish up eating, we head to our homes since the idea of a run is off the table with everything going on. There were a few sad grumbles, but no one challenged me on it. We did organize a meeting in the middle of the village where the children and some adults shifted and goofed around with the kids, but I told Kaiya and Graham they were in charge of it, which Graham was very thankful for. Maybe he thinks that if Kaiya sees him trotting around with some children, her love for him will blossom.
I let myself in my house and look around, unsure of what to do. The house seems eerily quiet. I hadn’t realized how nice it’d been having another person in the house or even just Talon. Maybe I’ll get a dog. But I want a cat.
I slump down on the couch and grab the remote before turning the TV on. Mindlessly, I stare at it until I hear a loud thunk against the door.
I jump, prepared for it to be another nightmare, but my instincts tell me it’s not. Without another thought, I rush over to the door and pull it open as I glance down at the snow leopard and his very confused dog.
He shoves me back, like he can’t even bother to wait for me to invite him into my own house, and shifts before looking at me.
“I thought you were leaving,” I say, and then Rowan’s on me. His lips find mine as his weight pushes me back, slamming me onto a table by the entryway. He’s rough and hurried, lips moving against mine like he can’t get enough. I reach up into his hair and dig my fingers into it before yanking it back, breaking the kiss as I twist him around until I have him against the wall. “I said I thought you were leaving.”
“I was… I am… I don’t fucking know. I just ran like five hundred miles for you.”
“Like fifteen, but I’m still impressed,” I say with a grin because the idea of that pleases me greatly. “Do you want me that badly?” I have no idea why I’m teasing him, but maybe I just want to hear him say it.
“I want you more than I’ve ever wanted anything.”
His words toss away all the confusion I’d been caught up in and make me feel normal again. No… better than normal. So much better.
I loosen my grip and he’s on me again. This time I open my mouth just enough that I can feel his tongue against mine as he urges me to give him more. And I want to. I want to give him all of me, but I’m afraid the moment I do, he’ll leave. Will that be the end of the chase? Will that be all he wants?
I push Rowan’s chest, but he refuses to budge off me until I give him a shove.
“What?” he asks, startled.
“Are you going to leave after this? Pretend to be someone you weren’t born to be?” I ask, needing to know.
His jaw tightens as his posture slumps a little. “I might. I’ve known you for barely two weeks. I don’t even know what this is. I don’t know… what I am. I don’t know anything. But all I do know is I want to touch you and kiss you.”
And I want him to as well, but I don’t want him to leave when he’s done. I don’t want to be left alone, left like I’m nothing again. But does it even matter? Wouldn’t I rather have this than nothing at all?
I step into him and drape my arms around his neck. “The issue is… I’m feeling very selfish. I know life is better for you out there, but I want you in here. I don’t want to share you.”
“I’m yours,” he says without hesitation before stilling. “My brain is real fucking compliant whenever you say shit and I don’t know why.”
I grin at him. “Because you’re a sucker for me,” I tease.
Rowan snorts before shaking his head. “No. You are for me,” he says as he picks me up and drops me down onto the couch.
When he climbs on top of me, there’s not a single moment of hesitation where I consider pushing him off because I want him more than anything. He’s already naked, so I grab his bare ass and pull him closer as he runs his lips down my throat. His hands grab my shirt, sliding it up before pulling it free and dropping it onto the ground. I watch him closely as he unbuttons my pants, eyes flickering up to greet mine. I’m glad he doesn’t have his contacts in that hide his gorgeous pale green eyes from me.
I lift my hips so he can slide my pants down them as his mouth travels down my chest, stopping at my nipple that he teases with his tongue before continuing lower. Heat rises inside me with every brush of his fingers and lips. He tosses my pants onto the ground as his hands slide up my legs.
“I can’t get enough of you,” Rowan says. “And I fear you can’t get enough of me either.”
“Why’s it a fear?” I ask as his rough hands skim up my thighs.
“Because it’s harder to walk away if you want me as well,” he says before his hand cups my cock and I breathe in sharply.
“Hmmm… I think we can worry about that later.” As my fingers tangle in his hair, I notice something interesting. “Are you going gray?”
He glances up at me. “That’s what you want to know in the heat of the moment?”
I grin at him. “I’m joking. Your hair is naturally white, isn’t it?”
“Yes. I keep it dyed.”
“That’s fucking adorable.”
“Shhhh,” he says before stroking me again. “You have better things to worry about than my hair color, don’t you?”
I grin at Rowan as I push my hips up since his hand is agonizingly still. “Maybe?”
“I think you do,” he says before running his tongue over the tip of my cock, and I realize that he’s right. I really do have more interesting things to care about. A groan escapes as he sinks down on me. I can clearly say I’ve never felt this much desire with anyone before. I’ve never needed anyone this much before.
When his mouth wraps around me, moving up and down my length, I have to dig my fingers into the cushion to keep myself from thrusting into him, wanting more of him. Claiming him as my own.
This man makes me feel unlike any other. He makes me want and need and desire him beyond what I can understand. And the thought of losing any of that, even for a moment, tosses small doubts in my mind, but feeling him touch me pushes all of that away. Even though I don’t want him to stop, I find myself aching to touch and kiss him, but he’s too far away. I tug him gently, guiding him up as I greedily pull him in for a kiss as his hard dick rubs against mine. He grabs them in his hand, rubbing them together as I wrap my legs around his waist and push him back and myself up so I’m sitting on his lap. His mouth moves against mine as I reach down to take his cock in my hand.
As Rowan pulls me deeper into this indescribable bliss, I’m overcome with pleasure and never want to let him go. And it terrifies and excites me. I groan against his mouth as I come into his hand, but I don’t stop stroking him as he shudders beneath my touch. As he comes, I can’t help but wonder if he’s being driven as mad as I am. I’m definitely not a promiscuous person, but I’m not sure I’d be able to step away if he wanted more. Could Ari and Graham be right that he really is my mate?
I grab a couple of tissues off the coffee table before handing Rowan one and wiping my hand off. Not having the ability to force myself off his lap, I wrap my arms around him and pull him down onto the couch with me. He sinks into me, a dead weight, but I don’t even mind.
“I’m exhausted. Do you know the last time I ran five hundred miles?” he asks as I squeeze him.
“It probably wasn’t even ten. We could call it ten just to make you feel good,” I remind him.
Rowan’s grinning and I find I love that look on his face. “Never. I wouldn’t even run five hundred miles for a free steak and an ice cream cake and those are my weaknesses,” he says.
I don’t know why this makes me ridiculously happy. “Good thing it was only ten to reach me then and not five hundred.”
“I ran so fast. Like fucking fast.”
“Why’d you run so fast?”
He chuckles. “I don’t know. I guess if I didn’t, you’d let some other rando scoop you up and fondle you, and you’re mine…” He stops abruptly. “You’re… yours. Not mine. You’re not property. God, I’m tired. Did I tell you about the time I ran five hundred miles for a handjob?”
I start laughing as I tuck my head against his chest. “Your life sounds difficult.”
“It is,” Rowan says before pointing at Talon who is sleeping peacefully on his back. “Right there, he ran the five hundred miles with me and that’s how I feel right now.”
“Then go to sleep. It’s like old people bedtime, so it’s excusable if you want to look old and weak in front of me.”
He nods vigorously. “I do. I haven’t slept well in like four days and then these drugs have just fucked with my body and then there’s been this sassy wolf harassing me, and then in a moment of weakness I ran five thousand miles to see him and he tells me I act like an old person. Says I’m graying and I sleep like old people, and I probably smell like old people too.”
“You smell like dirt. You’re actually kind of dirty.”
“That was from having to run through the desert and the swamp and up and down ravines to get to you.”
“You know you could have driven, right? You don’t need opposable thumbs to turn the steering wheel.”
“That’s a horrifying thought. Just looking out the window and a cheetah drives by. ‘Oh, that’s just our neighbor Sally out for a cruise!’ Then she leaps out of the vehicle and eats them.”
“Why did she become feral?”
He shrugs as he tucks his head against my chest and pure bliss fills me. All the anger I was holding, all the anxiety, all of my whirlwind of thoughts just disappear as I wrap my arms around him. Oh, what a wonderful feeling.
“Just added spice to the story having her be a serial killer, you know?”
“That it did,” I say as I breathe in his comforting scent.
Rowan’s breathing evens out as he pins me tightly to him. And even though I’m absolutely scrunched and slightly crushed, I have no desire to get up or move. My wolf is happy. I’m happy.
I grab a blanket just within reach and toss it over both of us and turn to the TV as I try not to let concerns control me.