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Chapter 38.1
[Anonymous Board]
Baek Jae-heonㅋㅋ Is it true that he stopped Ji Myeong-hyeon from going to meet his girlfriend and ended up preventing the fire?
During the last stage at the Arena, Ji Myeong-hyeon suddenly ran off, changed into casual clothesㅋㅋ and while he was heading to the subway, he got caught by Baek Jae-heon. Then Baek Jae-heon, who chased him down, prevented the fire. Is this real? The quiet cat turned out to be the first on the stove, huh. Ji Myeong-hyeon, who pretended to love his fans so much; just two months after debut, going boldly to meet a girlfriend at a year-end performance venue. I really saw it allㅎㅎ
[Comments: 4,512]
― This is why boy idols are hopelessㅋㅋ
└ Agreeㅋㅋㅋㅋ Is he really an idol of only two months?ㅋㅋㅋ
└ It is not that boy idols cannot make it, but when trainees with short training periods debut too easily, they do not know to be thankful and end up like thisㅋㅋ
― No official statement even came out about Ji Myeong-hyeon wearing casual clothes and going to the subway, so why jump to the conclusion that he was going to see a girlfriend?
└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Official statement, reallyㅋㅋ What, do you expect CZ to release something like, “Yes, he was on his way to meet a girlfriend~”?ㅋㅋ Make it make sense.
└ Even if there was no official statement, it does not necessarily mean he was going to meet a girlfriend. Why does everyone say that?
└ Then where exactly was he goingㅋㅋ Running off in the middle of the encore, changing clothes, coming prepared with a cap and mask, and heading for the subway?ㅋㅋㅋ
└ And what, celebrities are supposed to go out without a cap or mask? He does not have a car because he is still underage, of course he would take the subway.
└ Exactly~ so where was he going then~ㅋㅋ
― But if he really was going to meet a girlfriend, would Baek Jae-heon have rushed out like that, shouting his name?
└ Agree. If a group member was sneaking out to meet a girlfriend, the priority would be to cover for him. Who shouts his name at the front gate like thatㅠ
└ This is the truth……. If it had been Joo I-rip, maybe, just maybe, someone could say he rushed after him and called his name. But Baek Jae-heon? No way. This absolutely felt like Ji Myeong-hyeon was running off like crazy because of something at home, and Baek Jae-heon hurriedly stopped him.
― Ji Myeong-hyeon fangirls, wake up. Your oppa really was going to meet a girlfriendㅋㅋ
― But here is what is shocking: Ji Myeong-hyeon’s classmates from high school are saying he is basically a eunuchㅋㅋ They say he never once talked about, or got involved with, anything about girls. If he was really going to meet a girlfriend, wouldn’t excuses and defenses be coming out by nowㅠㅠㅋㅋㅋ At this point, it really does not seem trueㅋㅋㅋ
― Ji Myeong-hyeon fans are so naiveㅋㅋ Those classmates were probably paid off by CZ to cover for him.
└ ㅋㅋㅋㅋ Fine, you keep believing that. My faith in humanity is really about to break.
***
[Fan Letter]
I am so happy for this meeting of Baek Jae-heon, Ji Myeong-hyeon, and me.
Author | One Who Has Received a Heavenly Mandate
Hello. I am a fifteen-year-old student who was present at the Arena Station incident.
(Video)
Yes, in this video, the two girls in Ji Myeong-hyeon oppa’s arms are me and my friend. And now, I am writing this post to put to rest the ridiculous rumors targeting Ji Myeong-hyeon oppa.
After the concert, while we were leaving, we heard that Baek Jae-heon had appeared, so we went down into the subway station to see his face up close, saying wow, wow. By the vending machine inside the station, two police officers were talking. The lights flickered once, but no one really paid attention. We did not either. But then, as we were passing by the switch room, suddenly a person in a black cap came running, shouting “Do not open the door!” He turned toward us and yelled “No!” while turning his back to the switch room and covering our heads with his arms.
We screamed, thinking he was some kind of pervert, and looked up, and that was when we locked eyes with Ji Myeong-hyeon oppa. Right then, louder screams rang out from behind us, and we saw the incredibly flashy (his face even more than his clothes….) Baek Jae-heon oppa holding back a station worker with his arm, stopping him from opening the door. While people were filming Baek Jae-heon oppa, more and more people recognized Ji Myeong-hyeon oppa, so naturally my friend and I drifted away from him.






Chapter 38.2
After that, the police and fire department arrived, and as you know, everyone was evacuated.
If I can speak as someone who saw everything up close, Ji Myeong-hyeon absolutely was not trying to meet a girlfriend. If that were the case, he would have ignored the vending machine catching fire and gone straight to the subway. From the moment Baek Jae-heon called his name at the front gate, Ji Myeong-hyeon stayed inside the station the whole time. My guess is that he was trying to go see his family. He said he had not seen them even once since debut, and with a new song coming out, it would be even harder to meet them. Since there was no schedule after the awards show, I think he wanted to see their faces.
But even if it was not that, I just wish people would believe it. Whether true or not, Ji Myeong-hyeon is someone who risked his life to save us. Please take that into consideration and stop spreading such negative rumors. I am begging you.
[Comments: 9,999]
BrightSwordMyeong: This was such a moving post. How can a second-year middle schooler write this well? If anyone reads this heartfelt post and still insults Myeong-hyeon, then they must really want to get cyberbullied.
└ TrueFan: 22, seriously, how can a second-year middle schooler write this so clearly? You can feel the sincerity.
DestinyCultist: I do not know about anything else, but the part where Ji Myeong-hyeon ran in, risked his life, and shielded their heads made me feel every emotion at once: hatred, jealousy, sorrow, envy, anger, pain, bitterness, despair, regret, resentment… Basically, I am saying I am jealous.
CantStayQuiet: Go write a novel, seriously. What do you mean Ji Myeong-hyeon wrapped his arms around their heads?
NovelLover: But seriously, throwing himself against the door and shielding their heads with his own body… even in a novel, the main character would get hated for hogging all the spotlight. It sounds way too exaggerated.
└ FlowerRaiser: 22, it totally sounds like a cliché from a novel.
FakeDetector: This post is not fake. It feels like it is going to become a holy shrine. I can tell.
└ TrueCoreFan: Your instincts are off.
└ Mist: Weren’t you usually good at spotting fakes? What shrine? This is just a delusional fangirl overreacting to protect her idol.
└ And: Wow, FakeDetector is the real deal this time. Incredible.
MyeongEveryday: Guys, this is not fake. Subway CCTV was released. Ji Cheonmyeong really did dash to the power room and immediately shielded the girls’ heads. (Video link) Go watch it.
└ Darling: Oh my god, I knew it.
└ Romance1000Won: ㅠㅠㅠ This person is right. Ji Myeong-hyeon literally hugged their heads like a father saving his kids.
└ NoCrimeNoShame: Wow, FakeDetector was right after all.
└ DiceMan6: Holy shrine visit, I am here.
└ IfNotHotThenUseless: Damn, FakeDetector really lives up to the name. How did you know just from reading?
└ DohaReady: Seriously, how did you figure it out?
BetterThanFilialSon: All of you who called this fake, come out now. Say it again after watching the video.
***
The next day, I thought the mood would be terrible. After all, Ji Myeong-hyeon still had not told even the members why he had borrowed Baek Jae-heon’s clothes and run toward the subway station.
But the strange tension among the members only lasted until breakfast. That was when the manager rushed in holding his phone.
“Hey, the article’s out.”
Everyone turned their heads. On the phone screen, posts were flooding in real time.
[Eyewitness Account of the Incheon Arena Station Incident]
“Ji Myeong-hyeon is amazing. It was more cinematic than a movie. Video attached.”
[Today’s Top Post on Online Communities]
“Honestly, I did not know much about YEARZ before, but after this, Ji Myeong-hyeon became so likable. The way he handled everything so calmly was really impressive. Was he always the quiet type?”
[YouTube Best Comment]
“Ji Myeong-hyeon was such a surprise. I never imagined he was the type to step up and save people. I think I might become a fan.”
Thanks to the middle school girl’s testimonial post and the release of subway CCTV footage, titles like “Ji Myeong-hyeon Re-evaluated” and “The Real-Life Hero Idol” began to appear everywhere.






Chapter 39.1
The situation completely turned around once the agency released an official statement.
Hello, this is CZ Entertainment.
First, regarding the subway station accident that occurred today, we would like to extend our deepest apologies and gratitude to everyone who expressed concern for our artists, Cheonmyeong (real name Ji Myeong-hyeon) and Baek Jae-heon.
Cheonmyeong had not been able to meet his family since his debut, and in accordance with a schedule pre-arranged with the company, he was on his way to meet them when he became caught up in an unexpected accident. During this process, he was caught in a crowded situation along with many citizens, and seeing this, Baek Jae-heon worried that Cheonmyeong was about to be swept away by the crowd and called out loudly to him.
Immediately after, an explosion was heard inside the station. To check on Cheonmyeong’s safety, Baek Jae-heon quickly ran inside. At that time, Cheonmyeong sensed that opening the door in the dangerous situation could cause greater harm and warned those around him. Baek Jae-heon, who was nearby, swiftly blocked the door, preventing what could have become a major disaster.
We want to state once more that this incident was not the result of the artists’ independent actions but an unavoidable accident that occurred during a movement pre-discussed with the company.
Currently, both Cheonmyeong and Baek Jae-heon are confirmed safe without serious injury, and we are prioritizing support for their psychological stability along with their families. We also deeply apologize once again to the fans and citizens who were startled by this incident.
Going forward, our company will continue to prioritize the safety and health of our artists and promise to implement stricter management and checks to prevent recurrence.
Thank you.
From CZ Entertainment
The rookie idol who had been scorned for sneaking out to meet a girlfriend just two months after debut was now not only transformed into a devoted son, but also someone who warned people of danger while hinting at a larger explosion and fire, hugged young fans, and even seemed willing to sacrifice himself. And another member, who had followed because he thought his teammate might be in danger, ended up preventing a major accident.
If it had only been an official statement, of course people would not have believed it. But because the subway station released CCTV footage, both Baek Jae-heon and I became heroes. In particular, I became such a national hero that whenever shorts were played, I appeared more often than Baek Jae-heon.
Fortunately, this meant the team suffered no damage, and both my manager hyung and the director’s anger toward me subsided. Things were awkward with the members for a few days, but maybe my image had not been too bad up to that point, because they treated me as if nothing had happened.
The company used the opportunity to tie in the release of a new song with noise marketing.
[Hero-idol YEARZ, soaring into the nation’s hearts with new song ‘SOAR’]
[That scene resembles the message of ‘SOAR’!]
[National hero YEARZ, donating part of new song ‘SOAR’ proceeds to disaster relief organizations]
[The bromance of Jae-heon and Cheonmyeong captured in the new song ‘SOAR’!]
[Jae-heon and Cheonmyeong’s chemistry takes flight in ‘SOAR’]
Thanks to this, the buzz skyrocketed. Baek Jae-heon and I became recognized as national heroes, and among idol fans, we became famous for our bromance. People had already been talking about the narrative between us, and with this incident, the bromance was completely solidified.
So, upon the comeback with the new song, there were already five variety shows booked for just the two of us. Including schedules with the rest of the members, even counting on all my fingers and toes was not enough. In other words, flames had been lit under an already busy schedule. The fire did not burn at Arena Station, but in me. Or rather, it was not fire but publicity.
“Today on Hey Radio we have Jae-heon and Cheonmyeong with us. People want to know, Jae-heon, how close the two of you must be for you to have rushed to Cheonmyeong that day. Could you explain to our Hera family?”
“Ah, I would not say it is closeness but—”
And while this was fortunate for the team, from that day on Baek Jae-heon and I completely fell into what fans called a ‘hate-relationship.’ It was not simply edited video clips that made it look that way. It was real.
“He is so thin that he looked like he would be swept away by the wave of people.”
“Ah, no no, Jae-heon! Not like that. Say it again. That is not what our Hera family wants to hear! Let me ask you again. With what kind of feelings did you rush to save Cheonmyeong?”
The DJ sunbae smiled as he playfully urged him to give the radio listeners the bromance they wanted. But Baek Jae-heon had no flexibility.






Chapter 39.2
“I went with the thought of ‘you should exercise more.’”
“Oh, Jae-heon, you’re driving me crazy―!”
The DJ sunbae laughed out loud, and I gave an awkward smile while sneaking a glance at Baek Jae-heon. But since this was a live visual broadcast, my every action would be caught on camera, so I made sure it looked more like a cute side glance. Truly, every single move became calculated.
“Alright then, let’s ask our Cheonmyeong. When Jae-heon appeared and ta-da! blocked the door for you, how did you feel?”
Judging from Baek Jae-heon’s answer, it was clear that I should lighten the mood here. At the very least, I needed to deliver something that gave off the feeling of the ‘B’ in bromance that the radio listeners wanted.
“Something like, he finally proved useful?”
But no, that would not do. An eye for an eye, a tooth for a tooth.
“No, Cheonmyeong! If you say it like that, all our Hera family will cry. But surely, deep down you must have felt something warm, right? Honestly, didn’t you think, thank you…?”
The DJ sunbae kept pressing, trying to set the atmosphere. Thank you? The truth was, I did feel thankful. Thanks to him, a huge explosion or fire was avoided. Because of that, I survived and so did the fans.
“Of course I’m thankful. Nobody got hurt, and that is something to be truly grateful for.”
“Oh my! Suddenly speaking from the heart~ our family must be going wild right now!”
The studio filled with laughter at the DJ sunbae’s fussing, but I added on.
“But you should thank me too.”
I looked straight at Baek Jae-heon. I wanted him to feel grateful toward me.
“Why would I?”
He answered bluntly, with the look of someone who truly did not understand why.
“Because thanks to this, you actually became a real prince. You used to only look like one.”
“Oh wow, what is this! This really is bromance~!”
“Ha―”
Baek Jae-heon let out a short laugh, shook his head, and set his mic down instead of replying.
As laughter filled the radio studio and the chat window was flooded with comments like “Ah~~~ bromanceㅠㅠ,” the word ‘hate-relationship’ was no longer just a joke among fans, but had become the most accurate way to describe our relationship.
Only a few days earlier, when Baek Jae-heon had held my shoulder, my heart had pounded so hard I could feel it in my head. But realizing that the excitement was simply the result of misplaced romantic impulses bursting out in the wrong direction actually lightened my heart. Now, I could confidently admit to myself that I felt a nervous flutter when I looked at him. Since I could not date in my current situation anyway, that kind of flutter was something both he and I would just have to live with. With a whatever-happens-happens mindset.
And once I got used to that, I even started asking Baek Jae-heon for what I wanted, something I had never been able to do before.
“Baek Jae-heon. I want some water.”
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
“Baek Jae-heon. I want to watch TV.”
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
Well, this was because of the self-made content where paired members had to switch arms and legs for a whole day, so it looked more extreme than it was.
Baek Jae-heon and I had not planned it, but when we drew lots we ended up paired together. And because of our size difference, he had to carry me on his back all day.
“Baek Jae-heon. I need the bathroom.”
“Just go in your pants.”
Of course, Baek Jae-heon was not always so accommodating. His annoyed face as he slumped onto the sofa beside me was so funny. Honestly, I really liked this content. It subtly satisfied my lingering sense of excitement. And maybe because it was after that incident, it felt even more fun. If it had been before, I probably would have felt too guilty and just stayed quietly in my room.
“Jae, Jae-heon. Isn’t Myeong-hyeon heavy?”
“It’s fine.”
“Let’s switch. Ji-hak is way too heavy for me…”
While we were watching TV in the living room, Lee Soonbok came staggering over, carrying Kwon Ji-hak, who was bigger than him, on his back. He begged Baek Jae-heon to switch me with Ji-hak.
“…Ji Myeong-hyeon, you said you need the bathroom?”
“Yeah.”
“Let’s go.”
But maybe even Baek Jae-heon found it too much to carry Ji-hak, because he sat down in front of me and showed me his back. For some reason, that made me feel strange again.
“Ah, please… he’s too heavy…”
Lee Soonbok pleaded as he dropped Ji-hak onto the sofa. Ji-hak chuckled and said, “Hyung, you should work out more~” and gentle Soonbok looked like he was genuinely angry. The kids were funny and cute.






Chapter 40.1
There was one rule in this game. Except when going to the bathroom, the person in charge of the arms could not let their feet touch the ground, and the person in charge of the legs could not use their arms. Every time they broke the rule, they would get minus one point. The team with the most minus points accumulated would have to do a set of three aegyo in front of the camera.
In the middle of the studio was a large electronic board showing the minus scores.
I-rip · Hee-min: -8
ISUNE· Ji-hak: -5
Jae-heon · Cheonmyeong: 0
It really felt like a big company, spending a lot of money to produce their own content like this.
“Ah, damn it, Joo I-rip! Stay still!”
“Run! Giddy-up! Giddy-up!”
“You crazy brat!”
I thought everyone might take a break, but that was not possible. The moment Go Hee-min, carrying Joo I-rip on his back, came in through the entrance after what looked like finishing the mission given by the production staff, everyone went on high alert. Why were those two split into arms and legs like that? Go Hee-min was the official skinny one in the team like me.
I quickly climbed back onto Baek Jae-heon’s back.
So this was the appearance of YEARZ’s official crazy one, Joo I-rip. Even Baek Jae-heon hurried to carry me to the bathroom so that Joo I-rip would not pull any stunts. But of course, the crazy one was Joo I-rip.
“Let’s pull Ji Myeong-hyeon down!”
“What, stop that!”
Controlling Go Hee-min to come close, Joo I-rip suddenly lunged and grabbed my arm to pull me down. As my balance started to falter, I instinctively wrapped my arms tightly around Baek Jae-heon’s neck. At that moment, what brushed past the tip of my nose was not sweat or the smell of sportswear. It was a faint shampoo scent.
I had once read somewhere that people are weak to scents, and now I was experiencing it firsthand. It was nothing special, just the shampoo all the members used together, but in that instant, my heart sank with a heavy thud.
“Joo I-rip. Stop.”
Baek Jae-heon spoke in a low voice. There was strength in his tone. Normally, he might have just ignored it, but since my body was on his back, he was firmly resolute this time.
“This is part of the game.”
As expected of a madman, Joo I-rip grinned and tried to charge again. Only the flimsy Go Hee-min was too weak to follow through, so they stayed where they were.
I tightened my grip around Baek Jae-heon’s neck, then quickly pulled my body back. Both of us swayed slightly, and Baek Jae-heon turned his head, speaking casually.
“Hold on tighter. So you don’t fall.”
A low voice brushed against my ear. That baritone made my heart drop again. The pounding was unbearable, and my head went blank for a moment.
“…Yeah.”
I said I understood, but I could not bring myself to hold him tighter. Instead, I put a little more distance between us. I was worried he might hear my heartbeat or my breathing.
“Catch Ji Myeong-hyeon!”
“Let’s get Myeong-hyeon hyung!”
At that moment, the team of Lee Soonbok and Kwon Ji-hak, who had been sitting on the sofa, suddenly jumped up and joined the Joo I-rip · Go Hee-min team, who were already aiming for us. They charged from both sides at once. Panicking, I reflexively clung tightly to Baek Jae-heon’s neck. Then, the hands holding my thighs suddenly supported my hips, lifting me more securely, and Baek Jae-heon spun quickly and darted away from the spot.
He ran straight to a corner of the studio, stopping at a narrow hallway turn where the members’ hands could not reach.
“Phew…”
Baek Jae-heon leaned against the wall, catching his breath as if exhausted, while I was still clinging to his back. He could have set me down on some nearby structure, but maybe he thought the others might attack again, so he only rested like this. His strength really was impressive.
“…Ahem.”
As the noise around us grew distant, a peculiar quiet filled the space between us.
My face was pressed close against his shoulder, so near that if I turned my head even a little, my ear would brush his. Only then did I realize it clearly. When we had been shaking while running, Jae-heon had pulled me closer, holding me tighter.
“Tired?”
Baek Jae-heon asked in a low voice. His breathing had not completely settled yet, so the edge of his voice trembled faintly.
“…You must be more tired than me.”
I gave a short reply, but my voice came out softer than I expected. He probably sensed it before I did.
He lowered his head for a moment, then shifted to support my legs more firmly. In the process, his fingertips brushed up along my thigh. It was a casual motion, but strangely enough, my whole body shivered in response.
“You are hardly heavy.”
“…”
“Hold on properly.”
His tone was curt, yet it did not feel unpleasant. In the distance, I could still hear the members shouting and running around, but in this narrow hallway, it felt like it was just the two of us.






Chapter 40.2
“…You are sweating.”
On the back of Baek Jae-heon’s neck, which I had been absentmindedly looking down at, I saw a bead of sweat glistening. He really must be exhausted. Well, even if he was full of energy at this age, he was still only eighteen. In a few days, he would be nineteen, but still. Thinking he must be having a hard time, I reached out and wiped the sweat off Jae-heon’s neck.
“What, hey…!”
Suddenly Baek Jae-heon flinched in shock, grabbed his neck, and quickly turned around. My legs inevitably touched the ground.
Jae-heon · Cheonmyeong: -2
Apparently cameras were also installed here, because the score that had been shown as zero on the team board dropped down to -2.
“Why, why is it -2 points?! I was the only one who got down!”
I shouted toward the production staff as if protesting, and the PD silently pointed at Baek Jae-heon. Following his gesture in confusion, I saw Jae-heon holding his neck and glaring at me.
“Are you insane?”
“What do you mean?”
“Why would you wipe my neck?”
“What are you talking about? Then why do you think I’m being carried around by you.”
I could not use my legs, so I was being carried. He could not use his hands, so I was wiping his sweat for him. What was the problem? When I gave him a baffled look, Jae-heon seemed to realize that too. He stared at me with a flustered expression, then let out a sigh and ruffled his own hair.
Jae-heon · Cheonmyeong: -3
I was dumbfounded. When I stared at Jae-heon in disbelief, he seemed to realize his mistake and awkwardly lowered his hand.
“Pfft—”
I could not help but laugh.
[Deokdam] Review of YEARZ self-produced content you cannot laugh at, “Wanting to Stay Connected” Episode 1
Posted by: Ilsipbaekcheon
Episode 1 started with a grim reaper appearing to wake up the members, and I thought it was going to be nothing but silly situations… but the moment they pushed the Jae-heon × Myeong-hyeon pairing, they dropped a massive piece of foreshadowing.
First of all… the fact that the two are roommates is just too much. I feel like I am going insane.
I mean, on the radio they played up their hateful chemistry so hard… I really thought they were a real bickering couple. But in truth, they were tricking everyone? They are actually roommates?! Even though the youngest, Ji-hak, gets to use a room alone, and even though Soonbok, who is the same age as them, also uses a room alone, those two insist on sharing a room together…! Crazy!!! An otaku woman dies here…
Anyway, Baek Jae-heon sneaked back in early in the morning without the production crew knowing, and as he was heading for water after waking up, he ran into Ji Cheonmyeong. That moment was so wasted! I really wanted to see Jae-heon’s startled expression!
So Jae-heon asked the grim reaper to help him act so they could trick Cheonmyeong. The grim reaper came into their room and shouted,
“Ji Cheonmyeong! The abyss awaits your soul!”
And Cheonmyeong sat up with a face showing pure 100% annoyance. It was hilarious. If it were me, I would have been scared stiff seeing that grim reaper makeup with the black lips, but he did not even flinch and instead asked if this was for their content. What a man.
“Yes, you scoundrel! The river beyond has been waiting for you for a long time!”
The grim reaper was flustered for a moment, but immediately went into his next line. But Cheonmyeong ignored him completely and looked at Baek Jae-heon. It seemed like he realized something was strange. His expression was exactly like >> Huh? Why isn’t Jae-heon waking up?
He even shook Jae-heon, but when he did not wake up, he stared for a moment and then suddenly asked out of nowhere,
“You are on your second life, aren’t you?”
“You debuted in your previous life, didn’t you?”
“You are a recycled rookie, right.”
Then when it became obvious Jae-heon was in on the prank, his voice turned full of mischief. And eventually Jae-heon admitted it, saying it was true he was on his second life, but he had not debuted in his previous one. Yet he still insisted he was a recycled rookie. What nonsense, but so funny.
The two of them were acting completely sweet together. Then when Jae-heon asked how he knew the grim reaper was fake, Cheonmyeong said it was because he was “too much of a grim reaper.” What does that even mean?
And then the others were hilarious too. Joo I-rip and Go Hee-min sharing a room was shocking. I thought Hee-min would insist on having his own room because he is so sensitive. But the four most sensitive members are sharing rooms while the ones who get singles are the youngest and the most gentle? This group is so strange and funny.
Joo I-rip and Go Hee-min both freaked out at the grim reaper (though it was mostly Joo I-rip, like 90%). Joo was ranting that it was absurd to die so young, while Hee-min was whining that he thought he would die from lack of sleep. How could I not laugh?
And then our Soonbok peach… trembling and crying, so precious. The production team are real jerks. But seeing him cry made me happy, so I guess I am the real jerk. And Kwon Ji-hak, since he is in the middle of a growth spurt, just went back to sleep.
Anyway, Episode 1 managed to deliver fun, emotion, and even romance (^^). I am so happy.
[Comments: 442]
└ Click to view






Chapter 41.1
[Comments: 442]
GoguryeoSillaBaekjeheon: Awwwww I really wanted to see Baek Jae-heon’s startled face, what a waste!!! But still, him joking around with Myeong-hyeon was too cute……
MwonJi-hak: Hahahah, Kwon Ji-hak going back to sleep again is so cute hahaha
Soongboki: Ha, love is self-harm. Seriously, what do we do about Lee Soonbok crying. How can such a big guy cry like that? But okay, Soonbok can.
└ 182Peach: How can such a big guy cry and somehow not be cringy at all, but instead insanely cute?
Joo I-rip University: Hahaha, Joo I-rip was unexpected. I thought he would not get scared, but he screamed so much hahahah
└ 70UntilThenGOHee-min: Exactly hahaha, I thought Hee-min and he would never scream, but they totally freaked out hahahah
MoreFilialThanAWhip: Ah, but why does Ji Myeong-hyeon not being startled at all seem so manly……? That calmness really gets me……
└ WithoutWrongThereIsNoShame: Hahahah, ah seriously, in my head I thought he would totally freak out, but instead he just calmly asked if this was a self-produced shoot, then went on to tease Baek Jae-heon. He was so manly I almost lost my mind.
FaintThreeColorCat: Go Hee-min is definitely a T, lol. Saying he thought he would die from lack of sleep was hilarious lololol
KwonJi-hakWorkHardCollege: Ji-hak is going to get even taller lol
GayModeOn: Guys, go watch the “Wanting to Stay Connected” YouTube Shorts right now. The PD uploaded it as unaired footage, and the Baek-Cheon moment is insane
└ AManWithTheSurnameBaek: What???
└ AWomanComingFromHerAunt: Oh my god, crazy!!!
└ PureLoveIsBeautiful: Wow hahah seriously hahah the production team is so good hahah
└ Harullara’s Light: I went to watch it and I am losing my mind. It is insane. Before Baek Jae-heon did the surprise camera, he went over to Myeong-hyeon’s bed to check if he was sleeping…… Who the heck looks at someone sleeping for that long?T_T And who tucks the blanket over someone so carefully T_T
└ MyangKitty: No seriously, Baek-Cheon is real, I am telling youㅠ and from behind, in secretㅠ. If you are checking whether he is asleep, you can just peek and leave, but who does that…… for that long……T_T
└ BaekAndCheon: And it is not just that he was staring, he even braced one hand on the bed while looking!!! That is what only couples do!!!!!
└ FinancierManiac: So you are telling me he did all that, and then pretended to be calmly acting like he was asleep?
└ LoveIsSelfHarm: Who looks at a fellow member’s face like that; not even my mom and dad look at me like that;
SOAR was released as a single, so there was only a title track. In fact, it was a strategic single meant to carry over the fandom’s excitement from debut, which was why the promotions were short and there were not many stages. But strangely enough, our bodies were busier than during debut promotions. The reason was obvious. With the nickname “Hero Idols,” Baek Jae-heon and I were drawing the public’s attention. Before we knew it, interviews, variety shows, and advertisement offers were flooding in.
Still, today there was a little room to breathe. Because of a fan signing event in Japan, the travel time was long, and since we were on the plane, I thought I could get some rest. The moment I settled into the business-class seat, I considered closing my eyes for a short nap, but Kwon Ji-hak, in the seat next to me, leaned slightly toward me.
“Hyung. Did you see the Shorts uploaded to the ‘Wanting to Stay Connected’ channel?”
“No? Why?”
“Take a look.”
The expectation in his eyes seemed suspicious. Wondering if something funny had been posted, I decided to check since there was still time before takeoff. I took out my phone, opened YouTube, went to the self-produced content channel I had subscribed to, and tapped the newly uploaded Shorts video.
The moment the screen lit up, my breath caught in my throat.
“……”
What is this. As soon as the video ended, it played again, and I could not stop myself from replaying it two, three, four times in a row.
It was footage from when we filmed the first episode of “Wanting to Stay Connected.” After talking briefly with the PD about pretending to be asleep, Baek Jae-heon entered our room to check if I was really sleeping. But for something that was supposed to be a simple check, he lingered far too long.
He approached the bed, placed one hand on the mattress, and leaned over. Then he lowered his head, quietly gazing down at my sleeping face. Not for a few seconds, but for quite a long time. And finally, he gently picked up the corner of the blanket and carefully pulled it over my shoulder.
“Jae-heon hyung is a total tsundere, right?”
From the seat beside me, Kwon Ji-hak said with a barely suppressed laugh.
“…What?”






Chapter 41.2
“He was always snappy toward you, but apparently he stared at your sleeping face for a long time. A really long time.”
The video started again as soon as it ended. I couldn’t stop my finger. Watching it repeatedly, I began to doubt myself. Was that really how someone would look at a fellow member?
“……”
“Seriously, you two need to stop bickering. You’re like elementary school kids.”
Kwon Ji-hak’s voice came from beside me, but it sounded distant, muffled. My eyes wouldn’t leave the screen, and my mind went blank.
The PD probably uploaded the unreleased clip to stir up a “bromance issue.” But I couldn’t stop watching that short video loop over and over. Since when did he… Why did he look at me like that…
Then it happened.
“What.”
Speak of the devil. Baek Jae-heon, who had gone to the restroom, paused before sitting down in the seat ahead of me and gave a slight nod toward us. His gaze shifted between Kwon Ji-hak and me, silently asking what was going on.
“Jae-heon hyung, did you see the Shorts video?”
Ji-hak answered playfully.
“What Shorts?”
“The one where you stare at Myeong-hyeon hyung sleeping for a long time!”
“Ah.”
Jae-heon gave a slight nod, looking unconcerned. But soon, the gaze that had been on Ji-hak slowly shifted toward me. Instinctively, I became wary. Whenever he had that expression, he usually said something that got on my nerves.
“It’s just—”
His lips moved slightly, as if pausing to take a breath.
“……”
“I couldn’t take my eyes off you.”
His tone was calm, but that very calmness threw me off. He didn’t say it teasingly or seriously, just casually—and somehow that made it hit harder.
For a moment, it felt like something struck me in the chest. What kind of answer was that? I expected something like, “It was just for fun,” or “The PD told me to do it.” But he said he couldn’t take his eyes off me?
“…What are you saying?”
My forced reply came out shaky. My heart kept pounding. The tips of my ears burned, so I turned my head toward the window. If I didn’t, I felt like I wouldn’t be able to handle his gaze on the side of my face. I tried to act nonchalant, scratching my temple with a fingernail, but even my fingertips were trembling slightly.
‘What the hell is wrong with him…’
I kept my gaze fixed outside. After a moment, Jae-heon sat down casually.
“What? What? What? What?”
Meanwhile, Kwon Ji-hak’s eyes sparkled as he looked between the two of us. Then he suddenly took out his phone and started typing furiously. I thought he was sending a text, but when I glanced over, I saw the fan communication app, Universe, open on his screen.
“…He’s insane.”
I turned toward him in disbelief. Ji-hak was biting his lip, trying not to laugh.
“Hey, Kwon Ji-hak.”
“Hyung. You have to strike while the iron’s hot.”
He mimed rowing a boat, giggling to himself. I felt anger surge inside me. The fandom was already going wild, and here he was pouring gasoline on the fire. No, not rowing—a motorboat speeding straight into chaos.
Ding—
Just then, my phone buzzed. It was a notification from Universe, the kind that popped up when a member posted something and others replied.
[Jae-heon: It’s real]
[Jae-heon: lol]
The one who replied was none other than Baek Jae-heon.
“No way…”
My heart sank. Was he seriously that nonchalant? He really left a comment like that? Stunned, I lifted my head, trying to see him, but the seat blocked my view. That made it even worse. I wanted to see what kind of expression he had while pulling that stunt.
Meanwhile, Ji-hak snickered again and started typing another comment.
Ding—
[Ji-hak: lol everyone, Myeong-hyeon hyung’s mad lol]
“Stop it…!”
I reached out, trying to stop him, but just then, the in-flight announcement came on.
[The plane will take off shortly. Please turn off all electronic devices or switch them to airplane mode.]
“Don’t do that, seriously…”
I pulled my hand back and scolded Ji-hak, giving him a sharp look. But judging by how he was still giggling, I had a feeling he wasn’t done yet. What was I supposed to do with this kid? He was exhausting me completely.






Chapter 42.1
It was a fan signing event held in Japan, but strangely enough, almost everyone who got in turned out to be Korean fans.
“How did you come here…? Do you live in Japan?”
“No, I live in Korea…”
“Oh… then how did you get into a Japanese fansign…?”
“Well… there’s a way.”
I was so curious that I kept asking the first few fans, but everyone either avoided answering or gave me a look that said, “Please don’t ask.” In the end, I just nodded and moved on.
And unlike the last time, when most questions were about me, this time almost every question was about Baek Jae-heon. I figured it might be because our so-called “bromance” had become a hot topic among fans, but still, some questions made me think, “Why would anyone want to know that?”
“Myeong-hyeon, you share a room with Jae-heon, right?”
“Yes.”
“Do you know if he has any sleep habits?”
“Sleep habits? Baek Jae-heon’s sleep habits?”
Why were they asking me that? Well, I supposed since he wouldn’t know about his own, it made sense to ask his roommate.
“Uh… I don’t think he has any. He just sleeps quietly.”
“I see… right…”
The fan looked a bit disappointed, so I wondered if I should say more. But really, Jae-heon didn’t have any particular habits. He slept quietly. There wasn’t much else to add. Honestly, that question wasn’t that strange. I thought it was a fair thing to be curious about.
But then came a question that really threw me off.
“Myeong-hyeon, when was Jae-heon’s ‘bad personality’ moment?”
“His bad personality…? I don’t think he has one… Oh! There was one time during AAM when he switched seats on his own, and I told him I’d get scolded by the company, and he said, ‘Then get scolded.’ That’s about it.”
A “bad personality” question, huh. I had no idea why someone would want to hear that. Wouldn’t hearing only good stories be enough? Still, it wasn’t a hard question, so I just mentioned the first thing that came to mind. The fan’s eyes sparkled for a moment, which was… a little unnerving. Maybe they liked the “bad boy” type? The question started feeling even stranger.
But then, the fan sitting right beside her—who was talking to Joo I-rip—was asking completely normal questions. That made me wonder even more. I ended up eavesdropping when it was Jae-heon’s turn, curious about what his next question would be. And the fan asked, “When do you find Myeong-hyeon cute?”
…And suddenly, I was dying to know the answer.
Even while signing for the fan in front of me, I tilted my ear slightly toward Jae-heon’s table. But unfortunately, Joo I-rip next to him was being so noisy that I couldn’t catch a thing. To make matters worse, the fan in front of me immediately started another question, pulling my focus away.
In the end, I couldn’t hear it. So as soon as the fansign ended and I got back to my hotel room, I started searching for fancams from today’s event.
“Myeong-hyeon, aren’t you eating?”
“No.”
“Okay. I’ll go eat with I-rip.”
“Have fun.”
My roommate in Japan was Go Hee-min. I didn’t want to share a room with Baek Jae-heon here, too. Being around him didn’t feel like resting at all.
“Should I take the key card?”
“Yeah. I’ll stay here.”
After waving off Hee-min, who was heading out with Joo I-rip, I put on my wireless earphones and started looking for every fancam that featured Baek Jae-heon.
“Is it this one? Oh, this is it.”
And sure enough, the moment I’d been looking for was captured on camera.
‘Jae-heon, when do you think Myeong-hyeon is cute?’
At the fan’s question, Baek Jae-heon didn’t even pause his signing hand or frown. If it were me, I would’ve instantly made a face and said, “What kind of question is that?”
‘Hmm…’
He looked thoughtful for a moment, still moving his pen. After finishing his autograph, he lifted his head and calmly replied,
‘When he’s sleeping?’
“What the hell.”
“What the hell.”
The curse slipped out before I could stop it. And, judging from the video, the fan filming it said the exact same thing aloud. Shocked, I paused the video and scrolled down to the comments section.
[Comments: 152]
LunchCardJi-hak: Baek Jae-heon, how much more successful do you plan to get?
Myeong-hyeonRoad: This can’t be real. I’m not dreaming, right?
IRIPsoNEN: Even BL novels aren’t written this boldly.
Boksoon: You stared at him sleeping for so long in that show’s Shorts video… and now you’re saying he’s cute when he sleeps? You better explain this. If you don’t, I’m assuming you’re dating.
ZeroMyeong-hyeon: Please, I’m begging you, give us an explanation.
MyCheonmyeongIsMyCheonmyeong: Did Baek Jae-heon get paid by Cheon-leun or something? T_T How can he push the BaekCheon ship this hard? T_T






Chapter 42.2
Ji Cheonmyeong Fanpage: I mean, I am a Baekcheon shipper, but what really makes me feel that Baek Jae-heon is extreme… is that during that fansign, he didn’t look at Ji Myeong-hyeon even once. When they’re together, he’s always staring at him when he sleeps, but in front of fans, he acts like nothing’s going on. Just how ruthless can someone be?
Lee Soonbok’s Sauna: But if Ji Myeong-hyeon ever sees this, he’s going to be horrified, haha.
And indeed, I was horrified. What kind of person is Baek Jae-heon, really? What kind of person says these things behind my back? No—more accurately, it isn’t exactly behind my back. I know better than anyone that it’s all a calculated part of his fan service. Baek Jae-heon knows exactly what the fans want, and how to stir their imaginations.
That’s why everything he says is just acting, a kind of performance. His words are designed and refined to make the fans cheer, laugh, and enjoy themselves. My head understands that, but my heart never listens.
The problem was me. What kind of person am I to feel my heart race and keep replaying meaningless words in my head every night?
“Am I… really…?”
The words rose to my lips but never came out. Am I gay? That one thought hovered right there, but saying it aloud felt like tumbling past a point of no return. Words have power. Once spoken, they stop being a joke or a fleeting thought—they become real. That’s why I always stopped right before that edge.
Still, the doubt was always there. Maybe it always would be.
How could someone feel fluttered by a fellow member? And over something as hollow as scripted fanservice? My heart shouldn’t react this strongly. I knew it made no sense, yet my emotions always tore through reason’s net and escaped on their own.
But I couldn’t draw any conclusions either. Thinking back over my life only made it more confusing. Counting even my past life, I’d already lived sixty-nine years, and in a few days, I would turn seventy. Yet in all that time, not once had I ever truly loved anyone, or even genuinely liked someone. Maybe I’d felt brief attraction or maintained social ties, but I had never experienced anything like this—my heart pounding, my thoughts consumed. So I didn’t know whether this was love, or just momentary excitement, or maybe an emotion suppressed for too long that had suddenly erupted.
And I still left room for possibility. Maybe one day, I’d meet a woman and truly fall in love for the first time. If that happened, then what I felt now would turn out to be a misunderstanding, just a fleeting emotion. I told myself to rationalize it. Yet at night, I still found myself sleepless, replaying his words, his laughter, the sweat on his face under the stage lights.
It was a tug-of-war between the part of me that didn’t want to admit it and the part that couldn’t hold on without admitting it.
I don’t know what love is. I’ve never experienced it, so I can’t tell if this trembling, this excitement, is real or not. But maybe that’s exactly why it scares me—and why I’m falling even deeper.
Knock, knock—
I had been lost in thought when someone knocked on the door.
“Who is it?”
I straightened up from the headboard and called out.
“Hyung, it’s Ji-hak.”
So it was Ji-hak. For a moment, I felt a twinge of annoyance. Still, I reluctantly got up and opened the door.
“What is it?”
Ji-hak stood there, eyes shining.
“Uh, I’m planning to go live with Jae-heon hyung in a bit. Do you want to join us?”
Since Ji-hak was rooming with Baek Jae-heon, it made sense they’d do a live broadcast together. But the look on his face as he asked me—there was something sly about it, like he already knew what kind of reaction he’d get. I was about to refuse right away.
Then Baek Jae-heon’s face flashed in my mind. What was he thinking right now? What kind of expression would he wear during the live stream? Suddenly, I wanted to find out.
“…Sure.”
The answer slipped out more easily than I expected.
“Huh? Really?”
Ji-hak’s eyes widened in surprise.
“Yeah. When are you doing it?”
“In an hour. Come to our room—the one on the right.”
“Got it. I’ll be there.”






Chapter 43.1
Since Baek Jae-heon was the type to talk a fair bit in front of fans, I wanted to sit next to him and chat, maybe learn a little more about this restless feeling inside me.
Thinking about it rationally, the reason I felt this way toward Baek Jae-heon might just be admiration. These were sensations I had never experienced in all my sixty-nine years of life. It was the first time I had ever been captivated by someone, the first time I had ever held someone’s hand. If Baek Jae-heon had been a woman, I probably would not have denied my feelings or hesitated to admit that I liked her.
But that was impossible to ignore. It was never easy to break through the prejudices that had formed over such a long life. So I decided to maintain a neutral stance and simply observe this emotion a little longer. After all, first emotions of any kind tend to feel overwhelming and intense, and I needed to see how long this one would last.
When almost an hour had passed, I finished showering, changed into something comfortable, and headed for the room on the right. As soon as I knocked, Kwon Ji-hak flung the door open as if he had been waiting.
Inside, Baek Jae-heon was sitting down wearing a plain white short-sleeved shirt and gray sweatpants. His hair, still damp and tousled as though he had just showered, gave off a look I had seen countless times before at the dorm. But for some reason, it felt unfamiliar today. Something about that familiar sight looked different.
He raised an eyebrow for a moment, seemingly surprised to see me, but soon returned to his usual calm expression and walked toward the table where a camera had been set up. I hesitated before sitting beside him, keeping one seat between us with Ji-hak in the middle. But Ji-hak nudged me with a sly look that said, “Hyung, move in,” and before I knew it, I was sitting right next to Baek Jae-heon.
Ah, this felt a bit uncomfortable.
Our arms touched. Thankfully, I was wearing a long-sleeved hoodie, so our bare skin didn’t actually make contact. If it had, I probably would have instinctively pulled away with an “Oh, geez!”
“I’m starting it now!”
As Ji-hak pressed the button, the viewer count on the screen shot up like an explosion. Within just one minute, it had already passed fifty thousand. It was fascinating. We had done group broadcasts before, all well-organized and formal, but this kind of spontaneous, casual live was new for me. Probably for Baek Jae-heon too.
“Everyone, we’ve got two very special guests for today’s live!”
Like a practiced host, Ji-hak kept the energy going smoothly. Baek Jae-heon and I only offered brief greetings beside him. The chat window flooded with messages, and amid the whirlwind of text, one comment happened to catch my eye.
[ Myeong-hyeon, do a cheek heart! ]
Without thinking, I formed a heart with my fingers on my cheek and looked into the camera. The moment I did, I caught Baek Jae-heon’s gaze from across the screen.
Damn it. I felt like I had just been caught faking fan service. I quickly dropped my hand and glanced sideways, only to see Baek Jae-heon letting out a small laugh. It was short but clear—a sound that seemed part teasing, part amused.
“Okay, since this is the first time our Baekcheon hyungs are doing a Universe live, I prepared a little segment! It’s called Ji-hak’s Balance Game!”
Apparently frustrated that Baek Jae-heon and I were just sitting there reading comments without saying much, Ji-hak had somehow come up with a game to keep things lively. How far ahead did this kid plan, anyway?
“All right, first question.”
He pulled out his phone, where he seemed to have notes ready.
“Eating only ramen for life versus eating only chicken for life! One, two, three!”
He fired off the question suddenly, but there was no need to think.
“Ramen.”
“Ramen.”
Our answers came out at the exact same time. We glanced at each other and both broke into a small laugh. It was such a simple question, yet somehow it felt like we had just shared an odd moment of connection.
“Okay, second question. Being stuck with I-rip hyung for 24 hours versus being stuck with Ji-hak for 24 hours! One, two, three!”






Chapter 43.2
The second question was a little harder. Joo I-rip or Kwon Ji-hak… the official lunatic of YEARZ or the noisy youngest member who never stops talking for 24 hours. Honestly, neither of them were good choices. Still, my decision came easily. It seemed Baek Jae-heon felt the same way.
“Kwon Ji-hak.”
“Kwon Ji-hak.”
“Oh yeah!”
I heard Baek Jae-heon’s low laugh beside me. So, I looked at him through the screen. I could have just turned my head, but somehow I kept glancing at the screen instead, maybe because I was too conscious of him. Anyway, he was smiling with such an easy, relaxed expression, and seeing that face made my stomach twist again. So, he could smile like that too. Normally, even when he smiled, it was just the corners of his lips that lifted a little, or he gave a short chuckle and that was it. But that smile… It was pretty.
“What’s the next question?”
I quickly turned my eyes away from the screen and asked Ji-hak to move on to the next question.
“Fun, right?! Okay, the next question is…”
While Ji-hak was choosing, I read through the chat messages. The speed had slowed a little, so even though it was fast, I could still read them.
[Ava: 1001000♥♥♥]
[Amélie: 1001000]
[Valentina: 1001000]
[Clara: ♥1001000♥]
[MintChocoKiller: 1001000]
People were spamming 1001000, probably because Baek Jae-heon and I were sitting together. If I hadn’t known what 1001000 meant, I might have cluelessly asked about it right there. Just imagining that sent chills down my spine.
Anyway, the fact that so many people were linking me and Baek Jae-heon like this… it felt both fascinating and strange. Was there really no discomfort in pairing two male members together like this?
“Okay, next question! Answer while thinking of each other.”
“Huh? Each other?”
“Yes! Holding hands all day with your member VS linking arms all day with your member!”
What kind of question was that? I turned to Ji-hak in disbelief, waving my hands. Holding hands or linking arms with Baek Jae-heon all day—those were extreme choices. If it were between Ji-hak and someone else, I could probably choose.
“One, two, three!”
“No…!”
“Holding hands.”
And of course, Baek Jae-heon answered firmly. My mind went completely blank. How could he say something like that so casually? Ji-hak kept shouting “Oh—!” and urged me to answer quickly. Damn it… ah…
Since Baek Jae-heon picked holding hands, should I choose that too? But still…
“Linking arms.”
“Why?!”
“What do you mean, why? You told us to choose.”
“No, you two have to agree. It’s supposed to apply to both of you!”
I sighed without thinking. It was supposed to be just a game, but what was wrong with him? And it was impressive that he even knew the word “agree.” I thought all he ever did was eat and run around.
“Isn’t linking arms better…?”
I scratched the back of my neck awkwardly as I turned to Baek Jae-heon.
“Why.”
“Because you can still use your hands…?”
“That’s true.”
He nodded calmly, as if my reasoning made sense. Really, he was just as strange. Taking such a ridiculous question seriously… Both Ji-hak and Baek Jae-heon were weird. I wanted this to be over already.
[Mr. Jabbodori Human: I think, as humans, they should at least show one scene of either holding hands or linking arms.]
“Huh?”
“That’s what they’re saying. You two, show us!”
“Ah, no way…!”
Ji-hak was acting especially weird today. Earlier on the plane, he said we should row while the tide’s high, and now he was actually creating this kind of situation. Seriously, even without this kind of thing, he’d do just fine, so why was he so desperate to pair me and Baek Jae-heon together?
I shook my hands firmly, refusing. But at that exact moment—
On top of my left hand resting on the table, quietly, Baek Jae-heon placed his hand.






Chapter 44.1
In that instant, it felt like my entire body froze. Especially my brain. It was as if a sheet of ice spread across it, completely locking up. My mind went blank and stopped functioning altogether. Then, the moment I saw the hand holding mine, my frozen brain began to process what was happening, and the warmth spreading from the back of my hand radiated through my entire body. That heat seeped past my skin and into my head. It was such an unexpected, unguarded sensation that it stole my breath away.
I reflexively looked at Baek Jae-heon.
But his face showed nothing unusual. If anything, he looked calm. He simply rested his hand lightly over mine while looking at the screen, as if this were a natural, meaningless gesture. He wasn’t smiling or joking. He was just quietly sitting there.
Baek Jae-heon was clearly doing fan service, but somehow it felt like I was the one receiving it.
[Holy Crappp]
  [Crazy!!!]
  [GAAAHHHH (dead)]
  [He’s insane!!!!]
  [1001000♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥♥]
The chat exploded. Fans’ screams and hearts filled the screen.
I wanted to pull my hand away and ask what he was doing, but I couldn’t move easily. If I pulled away first, it might seem like I was too conscious of it, and that would look strange.
“Wow, as expected, you really know what the fans want!” 
Kwon Ji-hak’s face was glowing with excitement. Didn’t he think it was weird that two guys, both older members, were doing this? I forced an awkward smile and glanced at him, but even then, I couldn’t ignore the warmth lingering on my fingertips.
Then, absurd thoughts began running through my head.
‘Am I the only one feeling this way right now?’
‘Is Baek Jae-heon really this unaffected?’
He was still sitting there, casually holding my hand on the table while looking at his phone. His body leaned slightly forward, his chin resting on his hand as he read the chat, occasionally nodding. No matter how much I tried to glance at him from the side, his expression remained composed.
Ding―
[Joo I-rip: How dare you two not pick me? Haha, see you later.]
A message from one of the members appeared with a notification. When a member commented, it showed up separately on-screen, making it easy to notice. And the one who wrote it was Joo I-rip.
[Joo I-rip: Huh? But what’s this between you two? Something suspicious~]
The moment I saw that, I quietly pulled my hand away. Joo I-rip was the type to say anything once he started, and I didn’t want to risk it.
At that moment, Baek Jae-heon’s gaze on the screen shifted toward where our hands had been. He was probably just glancing because I had pulled away, but for some reason, that brief look made my skin tingle.
“See you all next time—”
The live broadcast finally ended without issue. Well, I wasn’t sure if it was really “without issue.” The thought of holding Baek Jae-heon’s hand kept replaying in my mind, making my chest flutter uncomfortably. I just wanted to go back to my room and fall asleep quickly.
“Myeong-hyeon hyung, good job.”
“Oh, yeah. I’ll get going.”
“Hyuuung—”
I hurriedly stood up, answering halfheartedly, but Ji-hak must have thought I was upset. He bent his tall frame and clung to me playfully.
“Whoa…”
“Hyung, are you mad?”
I was exhausted, and this kid was only realizing what he’d done after the fact. But instead of being angry, I actually felt grateful. After all, it was the first live broadcast for both me and Baek Jae-heon, and thanks to him, it had been fun and engaging for the fans.
“No, you did well. Really well.”
I patted his head, telling him he did a good job. But then, I felt someone’s gaze.
“……”
Baek Jae-heon was standing still, staring quietly at me and Ji-hak. His expression was hard to read—almost peculiar. It looked a bit like he was glaring, but also somehow… envious? No way. Had I finally lost it? Why would Baek Jae-heon ever be jealous about me hugging Ji-hak? I must really be tired.
“Ji-hak, I’m sleepy.”
“Oh, yes! Go get some rest right away.”
“Yeah. Good work.”
After freeing myself from Ji-hak’s grip, I quickly left the room. Then I went next door and pressed the doorbell. When I left earlier, Go Hee-min had taken the card key, so I was empty-handed.
“……”
But there was no response from inside. What? Was Go Hee-min still eating? I didn’t even have my phone with me.
Knock, knock, knock.
“Go Hee-min.”
Thinking maybe he couldn’t hear me because he was in the shower or listening to music, I called his name while knocking. Still, there was no response. I figured he must not have returned yet. So I went over to the room that Baek Jae-heon and Kwon Ji-hak had just come out of and pressed their doorbell.






Chapter 44.2
“Yeah—. Huh? What is it, hyung? Did you forget something?”
“No. I don’t think Go Hee-min is back yet. I don’t have the key or my phone.”
“Oh, really? I’ll call Hee-min hyung for you. Come on in.”
Kwon Ji-hak opened the door wide, gesturing for me to come inside while saying he’d try calling Go Hee-min.
“…No, just call him for me.”
For some reason, I didn’t feel like going inside. My energy was already completely drained after holding Baek Jae-heon’s hand earlier, and if I ran into him again now, I might actually develop an arrhythmia.
“Hee-min hyung’s not picking up.”
“…Really? Then call Joo I-rip.”
“Okay.”
Since Joo I-rip and Go Hee-min were probably together, calling Joo I-rip would likely reach him too.
“Hyung. Can you put Hee-min hyung on the phone? Huh? Oh, really? Ah… damn.”
“What’s wrong?”
“He said Hee-min hyung went into the room and fell asleep.”
“What?”
“He said he’s sleeping, that’s why he’s not answering the door.”
It was a bolt from the blue. Come to think of it, Go Hee-min was the group’s official heavy sleeper. The moment his head hit a pillow, he’d be out cold, and even if someone carried him off, he wouldn’t notice. The busier his schedule, the deeper he slept, and since today included international travel and dinner afterward, there was a good chance he’d passed out completely.
“What should I do then?”
“What do you mean what? You just stepped in crap. Sleep in our room.”
“…Your room?”
Kwon Ji-hak shrugged as if there was no other option and turned his body toward the room, but that was absolutely impossible. It was already hard enough just standing here, knowing I might run into Baek Jae-heon again. And now he was telling me to sleep in the same room?
“Then, are you planning to sleep with I-rip hyung?”
That was even worse. Being in the same room as Joo I-rip would be a nightmare. According to Go Hee-min himself, “I usually don’t sleep that much, but ever since I started rooming with Joo I-rip, it’s been so noisy I can’t sleep well.”
 
I thought I could survive one night, but then I remembered. Didn’t he message earlier, saying, [See you later]? If I stayed in that room, I’d be lucky to get thirty minutes of sleep.
Panicking, I went back to my room and knocked on the door harder. Thud, thud, thud.
“Go Hee-min!”
But the silence was so deep, I began to wonder if anyone was even inside. Was he really asleep in there? Or had he not come back at all?
“Myeong-hyeon hyung, what are you gonna do? Are you gonna sleep here, or go to I-rip hyung’s room?”
“Ah…”
Even Ji-hak sounded tired after the schedule and the live broadcast, but he kept pressing for an answer. What, was I really supposed to sleep in there with Baek Jae-heon? Someone might say, “What’s the problem? You’re roommates in the dorm anyway,” but the dorm room was big, and our beds were far apart. Here, the beds were so close I could touch the other with just one stretch of my hand. It felt uncomfortably close. Maybe I should just stay with Joo I-rip…
“Myeong-hyeon!”
Just then, a voice called out from the end of the hallway. It was Joo I-rip, who must have been assigned a room farther down. He’d opened the door and was waving at me, probably having noticed I couldn’t get into mine and inviting me over.
“Hey, Ji-hak. Let’s go inside.”
But once I saw him in person, I immediately decided against it. His eyes were glinting with energy, his whole demeanor practically radiating vitality. How was he so full of energy when everyone else was exhausted? As the saying goes, “Those who wear flowers on their heads live long,” and that described Joo I-rip perfectly.
So in the end, I had no choice but to enter Ji-hak’s room. But even as I did, I came up with a plan. If I pushed Ji-hak toward Baek Jae-heon’s bed and lay down on the outer side, I could make a sort of barrier between us and keep as much distance as possible…
“Hyung, sleep with Jae-heon hyung. I can’t share a bed.”
“What?”
“Look at my size.”
“Baek Jae-heon’s big too…!”
“Anyway, I can’t sleep next to anyone.”
Before I could stop him, Ji-hak suddenly abandoned me and sprawled out in the middle of his own bed.
“Hey, hey… Ji-hak.”
“Why are you two acting all lovey-dovey?”
I hurriedly went over and tried to push him aside, but his dancer’s body was no joke. His strength and core were so solid that he wouldn’t budge no matter how much I tried.






Chapter 45.1
In the end, it seemed I would have to sleep in Baek Jae-heon’s bed. I turned my head slightly to glance at him, and there he was, sitting on one side of the bed with his phone in hand, not paying the slightest attention to me. Of all places, did he really have to leave the bed right next to where I was standing empty?
“Ah! What are you doing!”
“Get in while I’m asking nicely.”
Still, there was no way I was going to lie down next to Baek Jae-heon. I dove right on top of Kwon Ji-hak, pressing down on him and telling him to move while I was still being nice. Ji-hak grumbled irritably, but eventually gave up and shifted aside.
“I’ll sleep on the outside.”
“If you want to end up with I-rip hyung, keep talking like that.”
“I’ll just sleep.”
He could have at least given me the outer side, but Ji-hak insisted on keeping it for himself and lay down there as if guarding it. So I had no choice but to lie down on the inner side, right next to Baek Jae-heon’s bed. Still, it was better than nothing.
“Hey, Myeong-hyeon hyung.”
“Yeah.”
“Can I ask you something?”
“What is it?”
I must have been more tired than I thought, because sleep was starting to creep in. Ji-hak, still on his phone, said he wanted to ask me something. The light from his screen hurt my eyes, so I turned over to face the other way and told him to go ahead. I could see Baek Jae-heon on the opposite side, still leaning against the headboard and scrolling through his phone, but his light was dimmer, so this direction was easier on my eyes.
“Do you have any siblings?”
I thought he was going to ask where I was trying to go during the AAM Awards, but the question was surprisingly simple and random. I gave a small laugh and answered.
“I have a younger sister.”
“Oh, really?”
“Why?”
“I thought you were an only child.”
“…Me?”
Did I seem that independent and self-reliant? Why would he think that? My body was sinking deeper into fatigue, but curiosity lingered.
“Yeah. You just seem like someone who can handle everything on your own.”
“Is that so?”
“And also…”
“Yeah?”
“You don’t seem like you get lonely.”
That I didn’t seem lonely? Well, maybe. I had lived alone for a long time, so even after I got a family, I wasn’t particularly dependent on them. Not being dependent didn’t mean I loved them any less, though. Since having a family, they had become the people I loved most in the world—the ones I most wanted to protect.
“So sometimes you seem really mature. Like, really mature.”
I guess to young Ji-hak, I looked like an adult who could live well on his own. Even though, outwardly, we were only a year apart.
Still, there was something I should tell him.
“But Ji-hak, only children get lonely too.”
“Really?”
“Yeah. They just don’t realize it.”
“Oh?”
“So when they do get a family, they’ll never want to go back to being alone.”
“But how do you know that, hyung? You’re not an only child.”
“A theory.”
“Oh, come on!”
I chuckled quietly at his clicking tongue. I wanted to thank him for seeing me as someone so grown-up, but by then, sleep was pulling me under fast. I decided I really should just sleep.
“Jae-heon hyung, do you have siblings too?”
“…No.”
“So you are an only child!”
“…Yeah.”
“Then do you get lonely too, like Myeong-hyeon hyung said?”
When Ji-hak’s question turned to Baek Jae-heon, my eyes opened on their own. And the moment I did, I saw Baek Jae-heon—looking right at me.
“…”
“…”
For a long while, we just stared at each other without a word. If it had been me from a few minutes ago, I would’ve immediately shut my eyes or turned back toward Ji-hak. But maybe because drowsiness dulled my senses, or maybe because there was something strange about the look on Baek Jae-heon’s face, I couldn’t look away. What kind of expression was that?
He looked like he was about to cry—or like he was lost.
“…No, I don’t.”
“…”
“I’ve been alone for too long.”
Seeing those eyes and hearing that voice gave me a strange sense of déjà vu. It felt like we’d had this exact conversation once before. Though that must have been my imagination.
“…”
The thought didn’t last long. Sleep finally overtook me, and my eyes slowly closed.
A sky dyed in sunset hues, a small building that looked like an elementary school, came into view. I was sitting on a little plastic chair in front of the stationery store nearby, eating a 500-won ice pop.
‘Mister… are you sad about being alone, like me?’






Chapter 45.2
And beside me stood a bright-eyed child. He looked so small that I wondered if he had just started elementary school. Before I could even think, Who is this kid?, the words came out of my mouth first.
‘No. I’m not sad.’
‘Why not?’
‘Because I’ve been alone for a very long time.’
I reached out and patted the boy’s head as he looked up at me. He grinned, still holding the same ice pop in his mouth as mine. Cute kid. Despite his age, his features were sharp and well-defined. It made me curious about what his parents looked like.
‘You know, when you grow up, you could make a living with that face.’
‘Huh?’
‘I mean, you could be a celebrity. You’re handsome.’
He didn’t seem to fully understand what I meant, but maybe he thought that it was a compliment, because he smiled again. That smile was really beautiful. It reminded me of someone, though I couldn’t tell who.
‘Alright, let’s head back now.’
‘Okay!’
I’m thirty-eight now, so if I had gotten married in my late twenties or early thirties, I probably would’ve had a child about this age. A kid who would run up to me shouting, “Dad! Dad!” It wasn’t that I longed for that or felt lonely for not having it, since I’d never even married in the first place. But seeing a child this age stirred something faint inside me—perhaps a small regret that I had lived my whole life without a family of my own.
‘Take care, kid.’
‘Okay…!’
I waved at the little boy’s back as he walked away. Somehow, he noticed and turned around to wave back at me. What a cute kid. I kept watching until he disappeared, then turned around to go home.
‘Should I report it?’
Now that I thought about it, the boy had said his mother was gone somewhere and that he lived only with his father. But he also said he hated being home because his father scared him. That all his friends avoided him because of it.
I should probably report it to the child protection center. I didn’t really know what it felt like for a child to be afraid of their parent, so I couldn’t quite judge, but it seemed safer to report it. I was getting reassigned to another school soon, so I wouldn’t be around to check on him anyway.
‘Mister!’
As I was walking home, I suddenly heard the boy’s voice behind me, and then felt a small, warm hand grab mine.
‘Mister, can I see you again tomorrow?’
I looked down at the hand holding mine for a moment before smiling at him.
‘Sure. Tomorrow, let’s have cookies instead of ice pops. These hurt my teeth.’
‘Okay!’
He grinned brightly, as if already excited for tomorrow.
Just like when my eyes had quietly closed before, they opened again just as quietly. The surroundings were still and calm, dim yet faintly lit. It must have been dawn—the bluish light of early morning was filtering through the window and spilling onto Baek Jae-heon’s face right in front of me.
He had moved closer, leaving the wide side of the bed empty, and was sleeping right across from me. For a moment, I wondered if this too was still a dream. Why was he sleeping so close? It was enough to make my heart tremble for no reason.
It was a rare chance to see his face up close, but if I fell back asleep like this and he woke up to find me staring, he might feel uncomfortable. So I decided to turn over and face the other way.
“…Huh?”
But something felt off. There was warmth. When I followed the sensation, I realized my hand had slipped out of the bed—and was holding Baek Jae-heon’s hand between the two beds.
My mind froze just like it had yesterday. What on earth? Since when had we been holding hands? Did I grab his hand? That couldn’t be. Did I lose my mind and unconsciously reach out while half asleep? The warmth from the child’s hand in my dream—was it actually from holding Baek Jae-heon’s hand this whole time?
But wait, in the dream, I wasn’t the one who reached out first. And I’m supposed to believe I did this in my sleep? Confusion spiraled into panic. Damn it. If I really did grab him, who knows what I might do next in my sleep?
Carefully, I tried to pull my hand out of his.
Slap—
But it was caught again. Startled, I looked up—and there he was, Baek Jae-heon, already awake, quietly looking at me.






Chapter 46.1
“What are you doing?”
Worried that Ji-hak might wake up, I only mouthed the words carefully toward Baek Jae-heon. But even so, he didn’t move at all. He just kept looking straight at me.
His gaze felt unusually clear in the dark.
“…What are you doing?”
Thinking he might not have seen my lips, I whispered very softly this time. Yet still, there was no reply. He didn’t even twitch a finger, only held my hand tightly in his.
At that moment, a strange thought crossed my mind.
Is he sleeping with his eyes open right now?
Or is he just pretending not to hear me? I couldn’t tell. In that uncertain silence, my heartbeat began to grow faster and louder.
So I tried again, carefully pulling my hand back—
“…”
But Baek Jae-heon tightened his grip, not letting go. It was a conscious, deliberate strength. And his eyes didn’t waver or look away.
With that silence and the warmth of his hand, my heartbeat pounded so hard that even my temples began to ache. My pulse was racing too fast. What was this? There were no cameras filming, no live broadcast right now, so why was he holding my hand? Wasn’t that just fan service before? What was he thinking?
I tried again to pull my hand free, but this time, Baek Jae-heon held it even tighter, as if to trap my hand completely in his.
“…”
“…”
His eyes were steady and deep, glowing faintly in the darkness, unwavering.
“I hope it isn’t.”
At that moment, after a long silence, Baek Jae-heon finally spoke in a quiet, low voice. I froze, worried that Ji-hak might wake up at the sound, but his voice was so low that Ji-hak’s soft breathing behind us didn’t stop.
“…What isn’t?”
“You.”
“What are you even talking about…”
For a while, he had been quiet, so I thought maybe he had finally calmed down. But once again, he said something strange and confusing, throwing me off balance. Every time he did that, I felt my resolve weaken. Was he talking in his sleep again? Or was he lost in his own world?
“…If you’re sleepy, go to sleep.”
I told him coldly to sleep if he was tired. But despite my words, I couldn’t bring myself to push his hand away. Right now, I am torn between two feelings. The desire to hold onto his hand just a little longer, and the wish that he wouldn’t let go of mine.
Baek Jae-heon kept stirring me up. With just a few careless words, my heart would lift, then drop straight to the ground again. In this unclear distance where I couldn’t grasp him or let him go, I could only let out a long sigh.
Why was I like this?
All my life, I had never allowed myself to be shaken like this, not even once. Yet strangely, in front of him, I crumbled so easily—at his strange words, at his unreadable expressions.
Was it me who had gone wrong, or was it him who was shaking me?
“Ji Myeong-hyeon.”
“…What.”
“Good night.”
Baek Jae-heon ran his fingers softly across my palm, as if to tickle it, then let go of my hand.
“What are you…!”
In that instant, a sharp tingling sensation ran up my back, like an electric shock, and I let out a startled voice before I could stop myself.
“Mm…”
At the same time, Ji-hak, lying beside us, groaned softly and shifted.
The rustling sound of the blanket and the faint movement of his body instantly shattered the tension that had filled the air. I hurriedly turned over and pulled the blanket up to my head.
There was no way I could believe that this had just been a joke.
Was it just puberty? Recklessness? Did he grab my hand and whisper like that without thinking? Or did he know I was the one being shaken, and was deliberately pushing further? My heartbeat wouldn’t settle down at all.
The tingling that had spread across my back a moment ago lingered like an afterimage, and even buried under the blanket, that heat spread through me. I tried taking deep breaths to escape the feeling, but the warmth had already consumed my whole body. From head to toe, it felt like there wasn’t a single place left that wasn’t burning red. My face, my ears, my neck—and lower, deep inside my stomach.
It was the kind of heat every man knows.






Chapter 46.2
“…….”
Baek Jae-heon still hadn’t moved. Not a single sound of rustling came from his direction. What was certain was that I was at fault too… but that guy was also shaking me up.
I couldn’t endure another hour. In the end, I got up and hurried back to my room. My heart was pounding uncontrollably, and there was no way I could stand it any longer. I barely remembered how I even managed to walk those few steps.
I pressed the doorbell frantically. Once, twice, three times… maybe ten.
After a short while, the door creaked open and a disheveled zombie rubbed his eyes and stepped out.
“Ah, sorry. I told myself I’d open the door for you when you got back, but I fell asleep.”
Go Hee-min mumbled the excuse with half-closed, sleepy eyes.
“It’s fine.”
The words came out automatically. But it wasn’t fine. My head was still in chaos from what had just happened. It was a wonder I hadn’t poured cold water over my head yet.
“Where’d you sleep?”
“Next room.”
“With Ji-hak?”
“Yeah.”
After that short exchange, I entered the room and immediately threw myself onto the bed. I pulled the blanket over my head as if running away from something. But even in the silence, my heart still thumped wildly, and the trace of that touch still lingered on my skin.
From beside me came the sound of Go Hee-min flopping down onto the bed.
“Haam…”
He yawned, hugging his blanket. Even after sleeping, he still looked sleepy, ready to drift off again.
I forced myself to breathe evenly, trying to calm down.
‘Calm down. Just calm down.’
Does a fast-beating heart always mean affection? Does holding hands always mean something more? I tried to reason with myself over and over, but my mind remained full of Baek Jae-heon.
After a long while, I couldn’t hold it in any longer. I threw off the blanket, turned toward Go Hee-min, and called to him.
“Go Hee-min.”
“Mm?”
“Have you ever… liked someone before?”
The moment the words left my mouth, I didn’t even know why I was asking.
“Out of nowhere?”
Hee-min turned his head to look at me.
“……”
I couldn’t answer and looked away.
“Well… back in middle school, maybe?”
“…How was it?”
“How was what?”
“The feeling of liking someone.”
I wondered if it even made sense that someone who’d lived sixty-nine years was asking a kid who’d lived barely a quarter of that about love. But if Go Hee-min had ever liked someone, then in this case, he was my senior.
“Ah… hmm…”
Hee-min closed his eyes for a moment. He seemed to be searching for the right words, then spoke slowly, as if recalling something from long ago.
“It felt like I could see them even when I wasn’t looking.”
“The person you liked?”
“Yeah. I think I kept seeing them in my mind.”
Those words pierced right through my chest. That was exactly me right now. Even while looking at Hee-min, my mind was filled only with Baek Jae-heon.
Even when he wasn’t in front of me, I kept seeing him, over and over.
“…Did you ever hold hands or something?”
When I asked cautiously, Hee-min answered casually.
“Yeah, I did.”
“You did?”
“Yeah. And not just with some guy like your Baek Jae-heon.”
“Wha—huh—wait—”
I stammered in confusion, but Hee-min ignored me, lost in his memories. His eyes unfocused slightly as if slipping into a flashback.
“When we first held hands, it felt like a jolt ran down my back.”
“…A jolt?”
“Yeah. You wouldn’t know, but it was electric.”
At that, I sucked in a breath.
No, I did know. I’d just felt it earlier. Twice, in fact. The warmth that brushed against my palm, the trembling current that had run down my spine.
“…Damn.”
The word slipped out of me.
Hee-min let out a small laugh.
“Jealous?”
“…You’re insane.”
“Still, don’t go starting some dating rumor out of envy.”
His loud laughter filled the room.
Even then, I couldn’t laugh. Instead, a deep sigh escaped me.
I was completely doomed.
I’d tried to deny it dozens of times, but there was no running away now. There was no mistaking it anymore.
I was sure of it now—
I liked Baek Jae-heon.






Chapter 47.1
***
The company didn’t seem to attach much meaning to my attitude. In idol groups, it was natural that each member had different personalities. Some combinations worked well together, while others didn’t. But the members were different. They must have noticed my attitude because they kept glancing between me and Baek Jae-heon, clearly trying to gauge something. They never asked directly, but I could feel their curiosity in their eyes and in the subtle silences. It was as if the air itself whispered, “Did those two fight?”
Still, they didn’t seem sure. Even though I was clearly keeping my distance, the person involved—Baek Jae-heon—remained completely unbothered.
As if that moment in the early morning, when he held my hand and brushed his fingers against my palm, had never happened. Even though I had frozen up afterward and drew a cold line between us, he never once showed a flicker of emotion, confusion, or any attempt to bring up that night.
He was just the usual Baek Jae-heon. He called me when he needed me, and when he didn’t, he went about his business as usual. Even when we were sitting alone together in the dorm, he acted as if nothing had happened. When our eyes met, there wasn’t the slightest sign of hesitation in his gaze—unlike me, who always looked away in a panic. It was as if that night had been my imagination.
That made it even more suffocating.
I couldn’t forget that night, yet Baek Jae-heon seemed completely unaffected.
‘Is he really fine?’
‘Was holding my hand that night not sincere?’
‘Or does he not even remember it?’
I repeated those questions in my head over and over. Maybe I had just misunderstood. Maybe I had read too much into the atmosphere that night. Maybe it was just a sleepy, unconscious gesture in the early hours of the morning, and I was the only one foolishly giving it meaning.
But if that were true, then why that night? Why that moment? Why did he hold my hand so firmly and meet my gaze without looking away? Why did he tighten his grip, like someone who had just woken up, without saying a word?
I kept breaking down with every passing moment. I tried to act normal, but my heart grew heavier, sinking deeper, dragging me down.
Even so, I forced myself to smile, to speak casually, to maintain the attitude of “I’m not the one who’s shaken.” But inside, a constant wave of emotion churned. Everything was tangled and heavy, and my chest tightened as if I couldn’t breathe.
So I settled on one solution. I would just close my eyes. Whenever my thoughts got tangled, I closed my eyes. If I closed them, I could block out his face, the watchful eyes of the members, and the sudden rushes of emotion—at least for a while.
The problem was that most of my day was tangled like that. During commutes, while waiting between schedules, even when resting at the dorm, I spent most of my time with my eyes closed. With them shut, I could escape for a bit.
But under my eyelids, the memories became even clearer—the touch of his hand that night, the look in his eyes. And again, the questions rose in my mind.
‘Is he really fine? Was it really just my imagination?’
‘Why hasn’t he reacted, even once, since that day?’
‘Damn it, did I really just dream it?’
Every time I saw Baek Jae-heon laughing naturally with the other members, even when he brushed past me and called my name so casually, it felt like everything was stabbing at me. His calmness weighed on me more heavily than anything else.
I tried to endure it, hiding the gloom that Baek Jae-heon brought to my days as much as I could, but then the worst schedule appeared.
“The program shoot lasts about sixteen hours. You can’t sleep while waiting. You have to stay with the members, and you absolutely can’t talk to any girl groups. Don’t make eye contact, don’t even glance their way. Everything gets caught on camera.”
[Idol Sports Festival]
I hadn’t even known such a show existed. Apparently, this “ISAC” program was a regular holiday special aired every festive season. The good thing was that fans could attend and cheer in person, so they could see us up close. The bad thing was that even turning your head toward a girl group could get you caught on camera and cause a commotion.
Of course, that had nothing to do with me. The problem was that the waiting time was long, we couldn’t sleep, and I couldn’t avoid Baek Jae-heon. It was the worst possible schedule.
Whoever came up with this program—and decided to make it a recurring event—deserved to be questioned.






Chapter 47.2
***
[LIVE] Won’t Die and Yet Returns: <Aseudae> YEARZ Anonymous Forum Thread
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Fans are kindly asked not to spread or share unverified information.
Someone please put an end to Aseudae already.
It’s not fun, not touching, and all that’s happening is more contestants getting injured. Why does this show even exist? Is anyone actually watching it?
[Comments: 2,422]
– Starting this thread while praying no one gets injured on YEARZ.
– Someone please lock the PD up in a wooden cask. What is the point of this show?
– Huh? They’re still doing Aseudae? I swear it was airing 15 years ago too.
└ It never dies. My favorite changed seven times while this show kept running forever.
– Okay, but someone please hide Baek Jae-heon!!!
– (Photo) The contestants are entering! As soon as Baek Jae-heon’s face showed up on the big screen, idols, fans, and even fans of other groups all screamed, hahaha. The prince has arrived!
└ Wow.
└ Damn, that white tracksuit looks incredible on him.
└ So he’s on the white team! But the mint tracksuit looks nice too.
└ Didn’t anyone scream when our princess entered?
└ Who’s the princess?
└ I-rip.
└ I-rip isn’t exactly a princess, is he?
└ He is. The princess of sharp words.
└ Hahahahahahahahahahaha.
└ LMAO.
– (Photo) What even is this? hahaha The others are circling around Baek Jae-heon like he’s some kind of holy relic hahaha.
└ Good, good, good!!!
└ Seems like their agency gave them the order^^
└ But really hahaha they’re surrounding him like he’s their guardian spirit, it’s so funny hahaha.
– (Video) Oh my god, look at Ji Myeong-hyeon’s eyes frantically scanning for his fan girl.
└ Poor puppy, how could he walk alone like that T_T
└ Dogs do walk alone!
└ (Photo) LOL you were sitting near me hahaha I shouted “Ji Myeong-hyeon!” and his eyes got all busy looking around until he spotted us and came closer hahaha.
└ Why wasn’t I there T_T He’s so cute T_T
└ Wow, but why does Ji Myeong-hyeon look so skinny?T_T I thought he just looked pretty on screen, but in fan cams, he looks so frail like he could get swept away by the crowd…
└ Even thinner than Ji Myeong-hyeon is Go Hee-min. What’s his secret…
– (Video) Baekcheon’s crazy. When Ji Myeong-hyeon walked toward his fans, Baek Jae-heon immediately turned his head to follow him. Insane.
└ Seriously!!! He was talking to Lee Soonbok, but the moment Ji Myeong-hyeon left, his head instantly turned after him. Unreal…
└ That’s literally the “Eyes first vs Head first” moment, and he’s definitely Team Head First.
└ If that’s not love, then what is?
– Doesn’t it seem like Baekcheon (Baek Jae-heon x Ji Myeong-hyeon) is subtly being pushed by Baek Jae-heon himself?
└ “Subtly”? No way, haha. There’s even a saying that “Baek Jae-heon pushes Baekcheon.” He’s totally serious about that ship.
└ Agreed. Baek Jae-heon always has a neutral face around other members, but when he talks to Ji Myeong-hyeon, there’s this faint sense of contentment in his expression.
└ Huh? Where’s that supposed to be? Looks the same to me.
└ It’s in his eyes.
└ Just let it go. You don’t mess with Baekcheon fans. They’re more serious about that ship than real life, so just nod and move on.
└ What, is this a cartel?T_T I can’t even say what I feel anymore T_T_T_T
└ Worse than a cartel. Just accept it and act like you don’t know anythingㅠ I once commented “I don’t think Baek Jae-heon really likes Ji Myeong-hyeon that much?” and got cursed out worse than a national traitor.






Chapter 48.1
Fans who weren’t the kind to show up at fan signings or airports felt unfamiliar after such a long time. When I approached the fan section, they waved their light sticks or shouted to greet me.
“Did you eat?”
It was eight in the morning. I heard they had been lining up since four. That meant, of course, they probably hadn’t eaten breakfast. I motioned with my hands to ask if they had eaten, and the little sparrow-like kids all shook their heads. They had come out so early just to see their idol, and hadn’t even eaten a proper meal.
I took out my phone from my pocket and called my manager. I asked if there were any gimbap shops open nearby, and if I could buy food for the fans myself, even if it meant paying out of pocket.
[Breakfast? They’re probably already being served breakfast right now.]
To my surprise, the manager said breakfast was already being provided. Just then, a cheer went up from the fan section. When I turned my head, people from our company were taking things out of boxes and handing them out to fans.
Looking closely, I saw they were giving out fruit and sandwiches, along with seat cushions, hot packs, and blankets. So many fans had come, but somehow the company had managed to prepare all of this. I was amazed, but more than that, I felt grateful to work with a company that didn’t neglect its fans.
“Enjoy your meal. Thank you for coming.”
I gave a short thanks so the fans could eat comfortably, then went back to where the other members were gathered.
“Hey, Ji Myeong-hyeon was about to buy gimbap out of his own pocket ‘cause he didn’t know the company was providing food.”
“He’s really something.”
“Such a kind fool…”
“Hyung, you really know nothing about how idol stuff works.”
By the time I got back, Joo I-rip must have already heard from the manager, because he teased me. The members laughed, praising me while making jokes. Normally they would just tease me, but maybe they knew I hadn’t been feeling great lately, so their light jokes felt especially kind.
I gave an awkward smile and scratched the back of my head while looking down. Suddenly, I felt a heavy weight on my crown.
“You’re kind.”
The low voice belonged to Baek Jae-heon.
He patted the top of my head a couple of times as if in praise, then quickly withdrew his hand and walked away.
“……”
But I couldn’t move. I stayed frozen in that same position, staring at the floor.
When Baek Jae-heon touched the top of my head, his thumb had brushed along my pinky.
My ears buzzed. My heart pounded so hard it felt like my whole body was screaming. My pulse was racing so fast that my head started to throb. I didn’t know what expression to make, or how I was supposed to react next. My body just stopped working altogether.
“Did you two make up or something?”
Go Hee-min nudged me with a grin. My mind, which had been spinning in circles like I was floating through space, snapped back to reality in an instant.
“What?” I looked up, confused. Go Hee-min just snickered softly, shook his head, and went to sit in the corner.
“Is Go Hee-min stupid?”
“Yeah, probably…”
“I didn’t know that hyung was that dense.”
The three members who were left looked at Go Hee-min like he was pitiful. I was startled and looked around at them. Had they noticed my feelings for Baek Jae-heon?
“Obviously Ji Myeong-hyeon’s mad right now.”
“Yeah, totally.”
“I seriously thought he was gonna snap Jae-heon hyung’s wrist just now.”
Thank goodness. None of them had caught on to what was really going on.
“……”
I turned my head toward where Baek Jae-heon had gone. He was representing the male idols for the opening pledge and was now talking with the production team near the MCs.
Then, as if he could feel my gaze, his lips kept moving as he spoke to the staff, but his eyes shifted toward me.
“……”
I really couldn’t understand Baek Jae-heon. He had pretended not to notice me for so long, and now he came and did something like this again. Was it just fan service because the fans were watching?
After that, we didn’t talk at all. We both just went back to our tasks, keeping things at the same surface level as before. Honestly, there wasn’t much time to talk anyway. Baek Jae-heon was ridiculously busy, entering so many events—first the 60-meter sprint, then the 100-meter dash, and later basketball and archery too.
I, on the other hand, was just a decorative figure next to Go Hee-min, so I didn’t compete in any events and just cheered from the sidelines. Still, Go Hee-min did have one event. There was a special section in the gym called the E-sports Zone, and he said he’d be participating in a game there. I had no idea he was good at gaming since he was always focused on singing.
“Who wants to go watch Go Hee-min’s match?”






Chapter 48.2
“I’m not going. We can’t beat the E-sports team anyway.”
“Why?”
“Because that senior, Song Eun-gyu, is coming out.”
“Who’s that?”
“What do you even know, seriously? You don’t know Curve?”
Since there were no matches he could compete in, he’d been spending his time interacting with fans and cheering for Baek Jae-heon from afar. Out of boredom, he was planning to go watch Go Hee-min’s E-sports match, but Kwon Ji-hak stopped him, saying it wouldn’t be fun anyway. He explained that the senior named Song Eun-gyu from a senior group called Curve used to be terrible at Legend of Legendary, but after receiving coaching from Ha Jae-hyuk, a professional gamer once ranked number one, he’d gotten much better. And since that senior was competing on the opposing team, he said there was no way they would win, so it wasn’t worth going.
“How do you know they’ll lose?”
“I’m one hundred percent sure.”
“I’m still going to watch. No one else wants to?”
“No.”
“Go ahead, if you want.”
Not only Kwon Ji-hak but the other members also shook their heads, saying it wouldn’t be fun and that they weren’t going. Baek Jae-heon had just finished the archery match and was being interviewed by the MCs, so he wasn’t planning to come here either.
So, I stood up alone and headed toward the E-sports zone. In my previous life, the phrase I used most while working was, “You’ll never know which is longer or shorter until you measure them.” Back then, I truly believed in that mindset. But after being reborn, my perspective had changed a little. You really don’t know which is longer until you actually compare them. I once thought I’d study for life and live a stable, quiet existence, yet here I was now, dancing and singing as an idol in this very gymnasium.
So yes, you never know until you try.
“A complete defeat.”
But this time, that saying completely missed the mark. The idea that “you’ll never know until you compare” didn’t apply at all to this match. Our White Team, which Go Hee-min was part of, started off shaky and ended up being completely crushed by the Mint Team. The gap between them wasn’t even worth comparing.
Although it wasn’t entirely thanks to Song Eun-gyu alone, as Kwon Ji-hak had mentioned, he didn’t die even once during the entire match, and because of that, his team’s morale never faltered. He was the team’s central pillar and unquestionably the greatest contributor to their victory.
After the match ended, all the idols crowded around Song Eun-gyu and his teammates, loudly congratulating them. Cheers, laughter, and excited voices filled the gym. Everyone was caught up in the joy of victory, clapping, taking pictures, and chatting animatedly. Watching the lively scene from a distance, I soon turned my gaze toward Go Hee-min. Having suffered not just a loss but a total defeat, his shoulders seemed a bit slumped. I decided I’d go over to tease him under the pretense of comforting him, and just as I turned around—
Thud!
“Oh, I’m sorry.”
Someone’s shoulder bumped into mine. Startled, I turned, and the first thing I saw was a neatly pressed suit jacket. The person was quite tall, so I naturally looked up, and—was this guy a celebrity? He was handsome enough to make me wonder.
“Oh, I should be the one apologizing.”
“No, it’s fine.”
From first glance, he was so good-looking that it was hard to think of him as an ordinary person. Wearing a tidy suit and a tie, he clearly wasn’t one of the idols competing. But his looks—there was no way they were common. He had the aura of someone who performed on stage, or at least a public figure of some kind.
“…Are you a celebrity?”
And there it was again—my old habit from my previous life as a man in his fifties, blurting out whatever I was curious about. Kids these days wouldn’t do that.
“Oh, no. I’m Song Eun-gyu’s… ahem, coach. My name’s Ha Jae-hyuk.”
“Oh, the top-ranked one…?”
Ha Jae-hyuk? That was the name I’d heard earlier—the professional gamer once ranked number one. But wait, how could a pro gamer look like this? Back in my day, the ones who played games looked like Go Hee-min with glasses. Were gamers being chosen for their looks now?
“I’m retired now, so I’m not number one anymore.”
“Ah, I see.”
“Maybe number two…”
“Right… I see.”
Then I thought, why does an idol E-sports event even have a coach? And why did the coach follow them all the way here? The questions flashed through my mind, but I wasn’t bold enough to ask, so I decided to just move along.
“Ji Myeong-hyeon.”
Suddenly, a low voice called my name. Turning, I saw Baek Jae-heon striding toward me, his expression hard and his steps unyielding.
“Oh…? You came to watch…? But it just ended—”
Before I could finish my sentence—
Smack.
Baek Jae-heon grabbed my arm roughly. Without saying a word, he started pulling me toward the waiting room inside the gym. I didn’t even have time to resist and had no choice but to follow him.






Chapter 49.1
“Hey, Baek… Baek Jae-heon…!”
If I went any farther in, I would be out of the fans’ sight. I remembered the manager’s warning to avoid that and tried to stop walking, but there was no way I could overpower Baek Jae-heon, who had just finished four different sports events.
[YEARZ Waiting Room]
When the manager sitting outside our waiting room asked in surprise what was going on, Baek Jae-heon didn’t even respond. He simply dragged me inside, told the manager curtly, “Wait outside, I have something to say to him,” slammed the door shut, and locked it.
“Do you not know who that person is?”
He immediately turned to me and demanded an answer.
“Who…? The coach?”
“Yeah.”
“I don’t know.”
“You don’t know?”
“…Was I supposed to?”
What was this? Was he some kind of important person? Maybe someone who sponsored this whole program, or someone I absolutely needed to know? My mind started racing with possibilities, and I asked carefully,
“That person, he’s dating Song Eun-gyu. You really didn’t know?”
“…Huh? Song… Song Eun-gyu? But that senior is a guy.”
The answer that came back was shocking. That man was Song Eun-gyu’s lover. What startled me even more was how casually Baek Jae-heon said it, as if it was something I should obviously have known. Was it that common now for a man to date another man so openly? Has Korea changed that much?
“You really didn’t know?”
“Of course not, how would I know that… I only saw Song Eun-gyu for the first time today.”
“…Ha.”
Baek Jae-heon let out a sigh that sounded full of frustration, then looked me up and down. In that moment, guilt washed over me as if I had done something terribly wrong. But really, was it such a crime not to know about a gamer and an idol couple? Or not realizing two men were together? The unfairness of it began to sting.
“Anyway, now that you know, stay away from him.”
“……”
The mood dropped instantly. Did that mean I should stay away because the guy was gay? Because he might get the wrong idea about me too?
“Why aren’t you answering?”
“…Because I don’t want to.”
“What?”
Something rebellious stirred inside my chest. Why did he sound so sure of himself? What if someone close to him—a family member, a friend, or even a member of his group—turned out to be gay? Would he still say to keep away from them? My throat tightened as heat surged up inside me.
“…What’s wrong with being gay?”
The words came out lower and firmer than I expected. My voice was calm, almost too calm, but inside I was in chaos.
I had never once thought of myself as gay. My entire life, I believed it was only natural for men to be attracted to women. But from the moment I began to like Baek Jae-heon, all that certainty shattered. No—maybe it didn’t shatter, maybe it cracked and kept shaking, tormenting me every night. Was I always like this? Or was it just because he was special? I couldn’t find the answer, and I spent night after night lying awake, trying to make sense of it.
And now, the very person who threw me into that confusion was standing in front of me, casually saying things like “stay away from him.” I could barely breathe. Something from deep inside rose to the surface—a rush of emotions I couldn’t name. Whether it was resentment, anger, or pain, it filled my chest and burned my throat.
‘Who are you to do this to me? To throw me into this turmoil, and then say something like that so easily?’
A scream I couldn’t voice circled in my chest. Crying might have helped, but no tears would come. All I could do was look straight at Baek Jae-heon. Every word that came out of his mouth felt like it was denying me—denying not just who I was, but also the fact that I liked him.
“What did you just say?”
“……”
The air in the waiting room froze.
Baek Jae-heon’s eyes sharpened, cutting right through me. Silence fell between us. He furrowed his brows slightly, as if he couldn’t believe what he’d just heard, and spoke slowly.
“What do you mean by that?”
“……”
“I asked what you meant.”
I was scared.
Scared of the way Baek Jae-heon was cornering me.






Chapter 49.2
So I wanted to say it clearly. That I think I might be gay. That I seem to have feelings for you. That when you held my hand that dawn, when your palm brushed against mine, when you patted my head earlier and your thumb grazed my fingers, my heart raced every single time. I wanted to scream that I got butterflies.
“…It didn’t mean anything special. I just said it because I believe liking someone is a personal freedom, and that you don’t have the right to judge someone for it.”
But I know. I have lived for sixty-nine years, and I know how ugly it can look when someone pours out their emotions. Sure, there are people who can make it look cool—but those people usually exist only in movies or dramas. From what I have experienced, when someone expresses their feelings too openly in real life, the reaction they get is often something like, “What’s wrong with him? He should’ve kept it to himself.”
So if I were to confess these feelings to someone who just said “don’t go near a gay person,” the outcome was too obvious to even imagine.
Baek Jae-heon didn’t take his eyes off me for a while. His gaze looked sharp, but deep inside it, I could see emotions trembling as if being suppressed. He turned his head slightly, then looked back at me and spoke in a low voice.
“Ah—”
The short sound he let out was low, yet it carried a faint tremor. It wasn’t anger, nor was it calm. It was a tone mixed with emotions I couldn’t define.
But I neither could guess nor wanted to guess what that emotion was. The only thing I wanted now was for this situation to end quickly.
“…Then, I’m going.”
I couldn’t keep facing him any longer. If I stayed even a second more, I felt like I would either blurt out the truth or faint on the spot. Even the answer I had just managed to give him had taken all the courage I had.
I walked past Baek Jae-heon toward the door, trying to head back into the gym.
I knew that once I opened that door, the managers outside would look shocked and bombard me with questions. But telling them anything would only earn me looks that said, “You should’ve known better.” It would be better to leave Baek Jae-heon to deal with it and just slip away quietly myself.
Step, step—
The moment my fingers touched the doorknob, Baek Jae-heon’s hand suddenly overlapped mine with a firm tap. The unexpected strength behind his grip kept the door tightly shut.
My body froze in surprise as his hand lightly grasped my shoulder, then in one swift motion, he turned me around.
“W-what are you—”
My vision spun, and before I could even steady myself, his face was right in front of mine. My breath caught in my throat. He was so close that our noses could almost touch. It felt like there was only a thin layer of air between us.
My heart pounded wildly out of control. Thump, thump, thump—each beat felt loud enough to echo in the quiet room. His hand moved from my shoulder up to the back of my neck, and the warmth of his skin spread through me so vividly that my entire body burned.
Baek Jae-heon lowered his gaze, then slowly lifted it to meet mine again. His eyes traveled from my forehead, to my eyes, to my nose, and then to my lips. My heartbeat roared louder with every inch his eyes traced. Thump, thump, thump—
From this close, I could smell his faint scent. It wasn’t sweat, nor was it perfume. It was something uniquely his—a mix of warmth and breath. It tickled the tip of my nose, making my breathing turn shallow. With every inhale, it felt like his scent filled my lungs completely.
I couldn’t run even if I wanted to. His gaze held mine firmly in place. His eyes were still sharp, but within them, suppressed emotions rippled faintly, ready to break free. All of it mixed together and threatened to swallow me whole.
Then Baek Jae-heon leaned in a little closer and whispered in a low voice.
“I think you’re misunderstanding something.”
“…What do you mean?”
“When I told you not to get close to that guy.”
“…”
“That wasn’t the reason.”
As he said that, Baek Jae-heon lightly bumped his forehead against mine. It was such a small motion that it almost felt like a joke, yet it sent every nerve in my body into chaos.
“I said it because I was jealous.”
With a faint smile, he said just that—then opened the door first and walked out.






Chapter 50.1
Thud.
The sound of the door closing echoed through the waiting room. At that moment, my heart sank as if it had fallen to the floor. Yet my chest pounded like it was trying to break free. Thump, thump, thump. It was so loud it felt like a drum beating right beside my ear, and even my breathing faltered out of rhythm.
I stood there blankly for a while before my legs gave out, and I collapsed onto the floor. I had no strength left to stand. Lowering my head, I wrapped both hands around it. My fingertips brushed against my skin, still burning hot, as if Baek Jae-heon’s forehead had just touched it.
Jealous, huh?
His last words echoed in my head. Was that really it? Was it truly jealousy? Was that why he cornered me, why he pulled me in so forcefully? Was it all because of that?
The harder my heart pounded, the more tangled my thoughts became. He had said it like it was a joke, but I couldn’t laugh it off. His expression, his eyes, his voice—everything about him told me he meant it.
I didn’t even know what I was feeling anymore. Was it excitement, fear, or just confusion? I couldn’t tell. All I knew for sure was that, in that brief moment, my whole world had been shaken to its core.
My throat felt dry, burning as if it had been scorched. Every breath made my chest tighten, and I felt restless, like my body didn’t know where to go. I didn’t know how to deal with these emotions, and that only made it worse.
Love has always been someone else’s story. Something that existed only in dramas or novels, a fantasy that didn’t belong in real life. I had always just watched it from afar, never stepping into it myself. I didn’t even know what it meant to feel fluttered. The most I had ever done was admire or respect someone, or hold onto shallow connections just so I wouldn’t be lonely.
But that word—jealousy—didn’t it mean he actually had romantic feelings toward me? Or did it mean something else these days that I just didn’t know about?
I pulled my knees up and buried my face in them. I wished someone could just tell me the right answer. I really didn’t know anything. Even if someone called me an idiot, what was I supposed to do when I genuinely didn’t understand?
“Baek Jae-heon. What on earth…”
The moment I closed my eyes, the scene from just before came rushing back, clearer than ever. His eyes close to mine, the brush of his forehead, his whispered voice. The images wouldn’t fade; they only grew sharper, driving me even crazier.
I had no idea how much time passed. Maybe only a few seconds, but it felt like forever.
Creak.
The sound of the door opening broke through the silence. I instinctively lifted my head.
“Myeong-hyeon?”
It was my manager’s voice. For a second, I thought it was Baek Jae-heon and froze, but thankfully it wasn’t. If it had been him, I might have screamed or started bleeding from the nose. I wasn’t exaggerating. That was how close I was to exploding.
My manager met my eyes, his expression shifting to surprise as he hurried toward me.
“What’s wrong? Why is your face so red? Are you sick?”
Only then did I realize how hot my face felt. No, it wasn’t just hot. It was burning, like I could roast sweet potatoes on it. Startled, I touched my cheeks with both hands, but it was already obvious. My breathing was rough, and my heart wouldn’t calm down.
“…Yeah, kind of.”
I forced out a short answer. My voice trembled, and though I hesitated dozens of times to say “no,” I didn’t even have the strength to lie. It was easier to just say I wasn’t feeling well.
My manager frowned slightly and pressed a hand to my forehead.
“You’ve got a fever. Your forehead’s burning. If you weren’t feeling well, you should’ve said so earlier. Are you okay?”
I nodded weakly.
“Just a little…”
“No, you’re not okay. Let’s get you back to the dorm and rest. If you push yourself any more, you’ll be completely wiped out. We’re flying out in two days, remember?”
Normally, he might have told me to rest in the waiting room for a bit until I felt better, but I must have looked bad enough that he immediately said we should go back.
And the moment I heard the word “dorm,” my body really began to ache. My strength vanished, my head spun, and I couldn’t say anything. I just quietly stood up. My body felt unbearably heavy, not because of fatigue, but because of the weight of what Baek Jae-heon had left behind.
And I had no idea how to handle it.






Chapter 50.2
With my manager’s arm supporting me, I stepped into the hallway. The noise from the gym still filled my ears. Other idols were laughing and chatting, names were being called in the distance, and announcements for the next match echoed across the space. All those sounds dragged me back into reality. But even within that noise, I could only walk blankly, unable to think of anything.
My manager placed a steadying hand on my back and said,
“Once you get to the dorm, take some medicine and sleep it off. You’ll feel better tomorrow. Just rest for today. If you’re still sick by tomorrow, we’ll get you an IV drip.”
I didn’t think I was in bad enough shape to need an IV, but I simply nodded.
In the end, though, by the next day, I couldn’t even lift myself out of bed because my fever was burning up. I really did end up getting an IV. I didn’t even know if the person the manager brought in was a doctor or a nurse, but they were inserting a needle into my arm. Through my hazy consciousness, I could feel the members taking turns coming into the room to check on me.
From what I vaguely heard, they said my body had been overworked from the heavy schedule. They called it a bad cold and fatigue. But I knew better. This wasn’t the kind of sickness that could be given a medical name.
This was an age-old illness passed down by word of mouth. Love sickness.
After holding it in for sixty-nine years, it was finally bursting out all at once. How could it not hurt like this? That was the only explanation that made sense to me. Otherwise, there was no reason I should have collapsed before Go Hee-min. He was always skinnier and weaker than I was, yet he was fine while I was the one lying down.
“If you ask me, Ji Myeong-hyeon’s got love sickness.”
Apparently, Go Hee-min thought the same thing because he suddenly declared it right in front of the other members sitting in the room.
“What is he talking about now?”
Kwon Ji-hak spoke in disgust, and Joo I-rip let out a laugh of disbelief before asking,
“What made you come up with something that ridiculous?”
Go Hee-min gave that shameless look of his, the one that said, “You poor fools don’t know anything,” and answered with complete ease,
“He’s got someone he likes.”
“What are you talking about? There’s no one he’d like.”
When Joo I-rip scoffed, Go Hee-min continued with an even more smug tone,
“I’m a hundred percent sure. He asked me himself. If I had someone I liked.”
“Maybe he just asked because he was curious if someone like you had ever dated before?”
Kwon Ji-hak smirked as he added that comment.
“Hey, what did you just say?”
“Sorry.”
“Hey, Ji Myeong-hyeon. Is that true?”
The members’ attention instantly turned to me.
I felt my fever rise again, the one that had barely gone down. That bastard, Go Hee-min. I had asked him thinking he wouldn’t say anything, but I didn’t expect him to blurt it out in front of everyone. I wanted to deny it, but I didn’t have the strength to argue.
“I’m telling you, it’s true. He’s got a crush for the first time in nineteen years, and now he’s lovesick.”
“What, seriously…?”
The members erupted into murmurs.
“Myeong-hyeon hyung’s really busy, huh. Finding people, finding love…”
Kwon Ji-hak’s teasing almost made me snap, but I couldn’t even say he was wrong. I let out a long sigh instead. Even if I did get upset, I was in no condition to do anything about it. The IV had helped a bit, but I still felt weak and heavy.
“Everyone, leave. Let him rest.”
A deep, firm voice broke through the chatter. It was Baek Jae-heon, sitting on his own bed. He ordered the members out so I could rest.
The others glanced at one another, then stood up without arguing and slowly filed out of the room. The last to leave, Kwon Ji-hak, paused at the door and shot me a sly grin. Then he was gone, and the room fell silent.
I exhaled softly with my eyes closed.
But that quiet didn’t last.
The bedsprings creaked lightly. Baek Jae-heon had stood and was walking toward me.
Without a word, he placed the back of his hand on my forehead, as if checking my temperature. Even in my hazy state, I turned my head away, wanting to avoid his touch. He was the very cause of my illness, and his touch only made it worse.
But Baek Jae-heon’s hand was persistent. The more I turned, the more he followed. His fingers brushed the side of my cheek, then grazed the curve of my ear.
“Crush?”
What tickled my ear even more than his touch was his low voice.
“Or is it a boyfriend?”






Chapter 51.1
It was meant as a joke, but the weight behind those words was far from light. For a moment, I thought I should deny it, but my strength had already drained, and even the slightest movement sent heat coursing through my entire body. Words rose to my throat but never made it out. I clenched my eyes shut instead.
A complaint slipped past my lips. In truth, I had nothing to refute with.
“Ha, damn it…”
Then came a low chuckle beside me.
“Honest, huh.”
I drew in a slow breath. That bastard… was he toying with me right now? Or did he actually mean it? My thoughts tangled messily together, making me even hotter. I told myself it was all because of the fever—my racing heart, the way I was getting swept up by his nonsense. Yet the look in his eyes just moments ago wasn’t something I could easily dismiss as a joke.
The bedspring dipped slightly, followed by the soft rustle of the blanket being straightened. I didn’t open my eyes, but I could clearly feel Baek Jae-heon’s hands pulling the blanket back over me. His quiet breathing reached my ears. He said nothing more, but I could tell he was still sitting there, looking down at me.
I wanted to meet his eyes and read the meaning behind his gaze, but my head started spinning again. Even the sound of his breathing faded away as I drifted off, like my consciousness had been cut.
The next morning.
I had to get ready for our overseas departure, but by the time my mind had cleared a little, I was already being dressed and prepared by the others. Go Hee-min helped me into the clothes he had picked out, I pulled a mask over my face and a cap low over my head. I couldn’t even shoulder my bag properly, so Lee Soonbok carried it for me, while Joo I-rip nagged at Hee-min to bundle me up tighter. Kwon Ji-hak, usually the loudest of the bunch, stayed unusually quiet.
I fell asleep the moment I got in the car. I had no idea how long we’d been on the road. Before I knew it, my heavy head had tipped to the side and rested against someone’s shoulder. It felt broad and solid, so I assumed it was Soonbok’s. The others were talking softly around me, but their voices faded away like waves receding from shore.
“Hyung, wake up. We’re almost there.”
Someone shook my arm, and I barely managed to open my eyes. It was Ji-hak.
“We’re here…?”
“Yeah. Let’s go.”
Outside the car window, the airport entrance came into view. As I stirred, trying to sit up, someone beside me suddenly caught my arm. When I looked up, the familiar face filling my vision made my mind go blank.
It was Baek Jae-heon.
So he was the one sitting next to me. Before I could even fully wake, he silently adjusted my cap and mask.
Damn it, he’s doing it again. The faint heat I thought had subsided came rushing back. At this rate, my fever wouldn’t go down—it might even get worse.
“Let’s get off.”
His short, firm voice left no room to argue, and I followed without thinking.
The airport lobby was already packed with people. The flood of eyes turning toward us pressed heavily on my shoulders. The members formed a tight wall around me as we walked. Amid the noise, a reporter’s voice rang out clearly.
“Myeong-hyeon, are you feeling unwell?”
I wanted to answer, but just moving through the crowd was exhausting. All I could do was keep walking and lift a hand weakly in response.
Even so, cheers erupted, followed by a flurry of camera shutters.
For celebrities, even being sick becomes news.
That realization hit me, and suddenly my family came to mind. How worried would they be when they saw my face in an article? I promised myself that once we arrived in China, I’d at least send them a short message to say I was okay.
“Please don’t push—!”
The manager’s voice echoed through the airport, but it did little good. The crowd kept surging forward. Arms and shoulders brushed against me, jostling me from all sides.
And just as my steps began to falter, right when I felt I couldn’t keep up—






Chapter 51.2
An arm suddenly came around my shoulders. A solid forearm blocked my body, shielding me completely from the crowd pressing in.
Between the narrow space of my cap and mask, all I could see was the arm wrapped around me. But I didn’t need to check the face to know who it was.
It was the same arm that had adjusted my hat and mask earlier.
***
[Fan Post] YEARZ Departing for China
Author | Harullara’s Light
<YEARZ, Six Boys Depart for China>
The rookie boy group YEARZ (I-rip, Hee-min, ISUNE, Jae-heon, Cheonmyeong, and Ji-hak) departed for China on the morning of the 6th through Incheon International Airport for their overseas schedule.
Even in the middle of winter, the YEARZ members drew attention with their individual takes on winter fashion. Leader I-rip gave off a classy vibe with a long coat and scarf, while Hee-min went for a comfortable yet practical look with a thick padded jacket over a hoodie. Ji-hak added a pop of style with a checkered muffler and coat, flashing his trademark mischievous smile as he waved to fans.
ISUNE paired a turtleneck sweater with a short puffer jacket, giving off both warmth and freshness that caught everyone’s eye. Jae-heon, in contrast, wore a black turtleneck and long coat, presenting a clean yet chic charm as he stood before the cameras.
Meanwhile, Cheonmyeong, who had recently made headlines as a “hero idol,” had reportedly received hospital treatment for the flu, leading fans to express concern. The other members surrounded him protectively as they moved through the airport, creating a heartwarming scene.
This fan mom who gave birth to Myeong-hyeon with her heart is dying inside. When I heard my baby had to leave Aseudae halfway through because he wasn’t feeling well, I thought my world was collapsing. But to think he was this sick… Please don’t get sick, my babyT_T
[Comments: 255]
GoguryeoSillaBaekJae-heon: Ji Myeong-hyeon looks that sick and they’re still sending him to China? That’s too much.
└ MwonJi-hak: The Chinese fan signing event refunds album orders if they don’t show up, and that kind of financial hit is big. He’s probably just going to sit there.
└ HyeonMyeongJi: I think they let him leave Aseudae early to rest before flying out. Money from the mainland matters more than some local variety show.
ProHwaNaeMler: CZ has so much money, they could’ve just let the kid rest for once ㅡㅡ
└ PositiveLoop: Honestly, it’s probably because it’s CZ that he even got to skip Aseudae and rest for a day……
└ FindingNextBias: 222 Right? If it weren’t CZ, a rookie like him would never have been allowed to skip filming.
SongBoGi: God, Lee Soonbok just keeps getting cuter. He’s got a man’s body but acts like such a baby.
70DaysTillGoHee-min: Is Hee-min even keeping his eyes open at this point……
GalGalGal: Baek Jae-heon and Ji Myeong-hyeon are three days away from turning twenty, is that for real? You two are dead when you hit legal age. (It’s a compliment.)
Joo I-rip University: What even is Joo I-rip? He’s crazy half the time, then he suddenly turns into this devastatingly handsome senior idol, and it kills me every time.
MyBiasIs50: (Photo) I don’t want to say this while my baby’s sick but… BaekCheon, BaekCheon struck first…!
└ FilialStickButBetter: Crazy, I’ve seen that pose before. It’s the “boyfriend shielding his girlfriend” move.
└ HomeBird: Why does Baek Jae-heon act like thisㅠㅠㅠ How does he just wrap his arm around him like that? That’s totally a couple move~! ㅠㅠ
└ BiroStartsWithL: Baek Jae-heon always pretends to be indifferent, but once his boyfriend gets sick, he changes completely. At Aseudae, he noticed Ji Myeong-hyeon wasn’t feeling well and immediately took him away. Now at the airport, he’s a full-on protective boyfriend, wrapping his arm around his shoulder. It’s too much… I’m dyingㅠㅠ
└ GoHopeTorture: Honestly, I think BaekTheBoy made some big decision… During Aseudae, Ha Jae-hyuk didn’t even recognize Ji Myeong-hyeon, but when Myeong-hyeon said something to him, Jae-heon instantly dragged him off. Now at the airport, he’s not even trying to hide it…
└ HeartDonation: 222 When he grabbed his arm that day, people literally screamed lololool
└ JiMyeong-hyeonWanted: I’ll never forget the 12/27 Aseudae BaekCheon Festival… even the head pat……
└ HomeDetective: BaekCheon totally smells real.
BaekJae-heon’sGirlfriend: I feel bad.






Chapter 52.1
As soon as we arrived in China, I was put on my second IV drip. With the line still connected to my arm, my makeup and hairstyling began at the same time. The other members had gone to the salon since dawn, but I was getting ready from the local accommodation instead. In four hours, we would have to head out for the fan signing event, so sitting there holding the arm with the needle still in it just felt absurd. I couldn’t help but think, what kind of life is this? Still, I didn’t show how exhausted I was. It was enough that I was the only one having a hard time. I knew better than anyone that my condition was already making things more difficult for others.
The hair and makeup teams came rushing in to start on me. As my makeup grew thicker, my pale complexion was hidden, but my fatigue couldn’t be covered. Honestly, I wanted nothing more than to collapse onto a bed and sleep the entire day away. But that wasn’t an option. This was work, and work meant I had to do it, no matter how sick or tired I was. In the end, my job was to stand on stage and sit in front of fans.
If I were just nineteen-year-old Ji Myeong-hyeon, I don’t think I could be thinking this way. A while ago, I sent a message to my mom saying we’d arrived safely and that I was fine. If I were that nineteen-year-old version of myself, I probably would have called her crying, saying I was sick.
“Don’t do the fan sign items today, Myeong-hyeon. Just sit there.”
After finishing up his own look, Joo I-rip talked briefly with the manager, then came over and said that firmly to me.
“Is that okay though…?”
For a moment, I was puzzled.
Fan sign items refer to the cosplay props fans put on their favorite members—cat ears, dog ears, frilly aprons, even magical girl wands. It’s something idols are expected to do, so I always accepted everything with a smile. But now he was telling me not to do any of that and just sit still. I couldn’t help but worry that the fans might feel disappointed.
Reading the hesitation on my face, Joo I-rip added, “If anyone asks you to, I’ll tell them I’ll do it instead.”
My chest tightened a little. Joo I-rip, who usually only joked around or nagged, was suddenly saying something so protective. I thought to myself that even a broken clock is right twice a day, but honestly, I was touched.
“Then, just for today. Thanks.”
There was no other way. If we were still in Korea, I might have tried to push through until the end, but the crowd at the airport and the long flight had already drained my strength. I knew I couldn’t push myself any further, so I nodded.
“I’ll help too.”
“Me too.”
“Same here!”
At Joo I-rip’s words, the other members all raised their hands one after another. Hee-min, Soonbok, and Ji-hak smiled and nodded at me. They added playful jokes here and there, but I could feel the sincerity beneath them.
So this is what it feels like to be cared for like this. I really am part of this team. My throat felt a little warm.
“What about you, Baek Jae-heon?”
At that moment, while everyone was volunteering to help, one person stayed silent. Joo I-rip narrowed his eyes and looked his way with that clear, persistent gaze of his.
Through the mirror, I saw Baek Jae-heon sitting with his legs crossed, scrolling on his phone with an indifferent expression.
“…”
Feeling Joo I-rip’s stare, Jae-heon gave a faint smirk, turned his head, and looked straight at me through the mirror. Our eyes met.
“What’s the point of asking?”
A short, blunt reply.
His tone was casual, almost careless, yet there was an unmistakable hint of of course I will in it.
When we arrived at the fan signing venue, the place was already filled with heat and excitement. The long line of fans stretching outside, the banners and slogans waving in the air—all of it came into view through the car window. Seeing that scene gave me a small burst of strength. Even when my body was at its limit, just knowing there were people waiting made me take another step forward.






Chapter 52.2
“Are you okay, hyung?”
Ji-hak whispered beside me.
“…I’m fine.”
My hoarse voice didn’t sound fine at all, but I forced a smile anyway.
When we followed the staff into the waiting room, the space was already buzzing with last-minute stage preparations. Our manager said, “Myeong-hyeon, don’t push yourself too hard today. If you need to stop, give me a signal.” He was probably worried because we had a New Year’s performance coming up soon. But telling someone “don’t overdo it” was easier said than done. The moment you sit in front of fans, you have no choice but to smile with everything you have. That’s what being an idol meant.
As I sat in front of the mirror and had my hair fixed again, I closed my eyes for a moment. It was strange to think that just a short while ago, I had been hooked up to an IV. Now I had to put on a completely different face. A smile would soon be painted over my features, and that single smile could be someone’s whole day.
The moment I entered the fan signing venue, a wave of cheers hit my ears. Bright lights flashed, and the sound of camera shutters filled the room. My steps faltered slightly, but I could feel the members adjusting their pace beside me. Someone lightly supported my back, and another moved ahead to draw attention away.
When I sat down, I could see the fans’ faces clearly. Strangely enough, there were a few Korean fans even here. Most of the crowd was Chinese, far more than in our last Japan fan signing, but I could spot a few familiar faces. The fans held albums, letters, and small prepared gifts in their hands. Some had brought fan sign props, but perhaps knowing I couldn’t handle them today, I instead heard things like, “Are you okay? Your health comes first.” That kind of sincerity made me smile. My body still felt heavy, and my fever hadn’t gone down, but I couldn’t allow myself to collapse when people were showing such warm concern.
“Oh dear, I’m sorry.”
“It’s okay! Slowly!”
“Huh? You speak Korean really well.”
“Communication.”
“Hahaha.”
As the signing went on, my hand began trembling slightly, and my signature started to lose its steadiness. But the Chinese fan in front of me reassured me in clumsy Korean that it was fine. When I told them they were good at Korean, they just said, “Communication,” and that one word made me laugh. Even if we didn’t share a language, it felt like our hearts understood each other. It was cute and genuinely uplifting.
But the exhaustion couldn’t be helped. After the fan left and before the next person came forward, I quietly swallowed a sigh as dizziness swept over me.
Swish—
That was when it happened. Baek Jae-heon, sitting next to me, casually slid the water bottle on the table toward my side. His eyes were still on the fan in front of him, but the gesture was clearly meant for me. He didn’t say a word, yet that unspoken touch made me even more aware of him. Feeling my face heat up for no reason, I picked up the bottle and carefully twisted off the cap. Just as I was about to take a sip, the next fan sat down in front of me.
“Hello—”
I greeted first in a deliberately bright tone since the person looked like a Korean fan.
“…”
But the fan said nothing, simply staring straight into my face.
“…May I ask your name?”
“…”
I asked again carefully, but still received no response. Their gaze remained fixed on me, silent and unmoving. For a moment, I wondered if they might have a hearing impairment and whether I should try using sign language.
But since I didn’t know any sign language, I froze, unsure of what to do. Trying to hide my awkwardness, I opened my mouth, hoping that my sincerity would somehow reach them.
“Thank you for coming.”
I couldn’t tell if they understood me. Their expressions stayed exactly the same. Quietly, I opened the album and began signing, focusing hard to keep the lines straight. Even if they didn’t speak, I felt that drawing each stroke carefully was the only way to convey my heart.
Then it happened.
BAM—!
The fan suddenly snatched the album right out of my hands.






Chapter 53.1
“Ah…!”
A startled sound escaped from me before I realized it.
“Jae-heon! I came again!”
As soon as the fan standing in front of Baek Jae-heon moved aside, another fan snatched the album right out of my hands and stepped up to Jae-heon with a bright smile.
“…”
I was so shocked that I couldn’t help but stare at her. But she didn’t seem to notice my gaze at all. Her eyes were filled only with affection as she looked at Baek Jae-heon. Unlike when she was in front of me, silent and expressionless, she had completely changed and now spoke to him with cheerful enthusiasm.
“Did you miss me? I missed you so much, Jae-heon.”
Her tone was light and full of playful affection. A chill ran down my spine. I had sat through countless fan sign events, and even if someone wasn’t meeting their favorite member, they would usually greet you politely or at least say their name. But this fan had stared at me in silence, only to suddenly turn into someone else in front of Jae-heon. It left me feeling strangely unsettled.
“Ah… yes.”
Baek Jae-heon seemed to notice the change as well. Normally, he would have continued the conversation naturally with a fan-service line, but this time, he only gave a short nod with a stiff expression. His reply was brief, and his smile looked forced, as if drawn on with effort.
For a moment, the air felt thick and uncomfortable.
“Kyaaa! Cheonmyeong!”
The next fan appeared, and the atmosphere instantly shifted. It was a Chinese fan. Hearing her call my name loudly with that unique accent brought life back into the moment.
“Oh, haha. Nǐ hǎo.”
I quickly brightened my tone and greeted her, smiling and waving as if nothing had happened just before. The strange tension from earlier was soon drowned out by the cheers and the sound of camera shutters. Still, deep inside, that uneasy feeling lingered.
“Xièxiè!”
“Zàijiàn~.”
When the fan signing ended and we returned to the waiting room, everyone let out a long breath at once. I immediately collapsed onto the sofa. Just sitting there for hours surrounded by cheers and flashing lights had left my clothes damp with sweat. When our manager set down some water bottles and light snacks on the table, the members slumped into their seats one by one.
“Whew… There were so many people today.”
Ji-hak stretched his legs as he spoke.
I let out a slow breath as I listened. The thought of that time during Aseudae, when I couldn’t stay until the end or properly say goodbye to fans, still weighed on me. I had worried the same thing might happen again today, but thankfully, I managed to stay until the very end and face the fans.
‘At least today, I was able to show them I’m doing a little better.’
That thought brought a small sense of relief, but then the scene from earlier flashed across my mind. That fan. The one who hadn’t said a word to me yet turned into a completely different person in front of Jae-heon. No matter how much I tried to push it away, the image refused to fade.
Just then, Ji-hak spoke again.
“Did anyone else see that fan earlier?”
“Which one?”
Joo I-rip asked back.
“The one who didn’t say anything to Myeong-hyeon hyung, but acted totally different with Jae-heon.”
Apparently, Ji-hak, who had been sitting beside Jae-heon, had seen it too.
“Oh, the one who didn’t say a word, right?”
Joo I-rip, who had been the first to sign on my left, seemed to remember as well. That fan probably hadn’t spoken to him either. From start to finish, she looked like someone who had come only for Baek Jae-heon. Since she had to get signatures from me and I-rip first before reaching Jae-heon, she probably handed us the album just for formality’s sake, without any intention of conversation.
“But the weirdest part is, after getting Jae-heon hyung’s autograph, she skipped mine, Soonbok hyung’s, and Hee-min hyung’s and left right away.”






Chapter 53.2
“Maybe she just forgot to turn off the gas.”
Go Hee-min said it casually, as if it was nothing to worry about.
“So she only got Jae-heon’s autograph and skipped all the other members?”
Joo I-rip frowned slightly as he spoke. When the three of us nodded in confirmation, everyone’s attention naturally turned toward Baek Jae-heon. He was drinking water with his usual impassive expression, but his eyes looked a little darker than usual.
“…It’s not the first time we’ve had a fan like that.”
His tone was indifferent, but there was an odd tension hidden beneath it, something uneasy. It even carried a faint sense of fear. For someone as emotionally detached as Baek Jae-heon to have that kind of look—it wasn’t normal.
The other members must have noticed too, because no one brushed it off lightly. We all fell silent for a moment. As I recalled that fan’s face and her behavior, a chill ran down my spine.
Since the fan signing was our last schedule in China, we headed straight to the airport instead of returning to the hotel. My body moved on autopilot. Departing and returning on the same day—this was what life as a celebrity really was. On the schedule sheet, it looked simple, but living through it felt exactly like that phrase, “So busy, the modern world.”
On the plane, all the members fell asleep one by one. I leaned my head against the window, watching the clouds drift past, drifting in and out of sleep myself. My body still felt heavy, but thanks to the two IV drips I had earlier, I could tell I was feeling much better than in the morning.
As soon as we arrived at Incheon Airport, reporters and fans were already waiting in the arrivals hall. The sound of camera shutters went off in bursts, and questions poured out.
“Ji Myeong-hyeon, are you feeling better now?”
“Did you finish the fan signing without any issues? How was your condition today?”
At first, I avoided answering, but soon I smiled and nodded.
“I’m fine now. I’m sorry for worrying everyone.”
As I said the words, I realized they weren’t entirely untrue. My body still felt as heavy as lead, and my mind was foggy, but it was certainly different from how I had felt that morning. Maybe the fans’ encouragement and smiles had genuinely helped me feel a little better.
“Everyone, after the Gwanghwamun performance on December 31, you’ll have a break until January 3. You can go home then if you want. Who wants to go?”
As soon as we arrived at the dorm, our manager asked. He said that after the Gwanghwamun show, those going in the same direction could travel together, and the managers would drive us home. The moment he mentioned “going home,” the room instantly filled with excitement.
“Me.”
I raised my hand right away. The others followed, lifting their hands and asking each other where they were headed, talking cheerfully about seeing their families again. Just the thought of visiting home after so long filled me with energy.
“…”
But Baek Jae-heon didn’t react at all. He just sat there quietly, expression unreadable, listening to everyone, then turned away and walked straight to his room without a word.
I watched his back for a moment, then gave my address to the manager and cautiously made my way into the room.
“…Baek Jae-heon, you’re not going?”
Inside, Jae-heon was taking off his jacket. When I spoke, he glanced at me briefly and gave a short answer.
“Yeah.”
That was all.
“…”
He ended it there and said nothing more. Normally, I would have blurted out something like, “Why not? You should go home. Your family must be waiting.” But right then, looking at his back, I couldn’t bring myself to say it. His shoulders were slightly slumped, and the shadow he cast looked lonely somehow.
And strangely, a memory of the dream I had in the hotel in Japan suddenly came to mind.
“Mister, can’t you come again tomorrow?”
I didn’t know why that dream resurfaced now, but I was certain it came from a past life. A memory buried deep within me—a story from long ago. The home of a child whose mother had run away, leaving only a frightening father behind.
The small figure of that child, walking back home alone, came vividly to mind.
For a moment, Baek Jae-heon’s back overlapped with that child’s image. It was an inexplicable illusion.
“…Baek Jae-heon.”
I called his name quietly.
“Yeah.”
His short reply came back.
I hesitated for a moment, but the words slipped out before I could stop them.
“…Do you live with just your father?”






Chapter 54.1
Baek Jae-heon quickly turned his head.
“What?”
I couldn’t even understand why I had asked that question. But once the words were out, I couldn’t take them back. Regret flooded in immediately. My heart sank, wondering if it had sounded like I was implying he was someone without a mother. I knew better than anyone how deeply that kind of comment could cut, which only made me more flustered with myself.
“Ah, sorry. I didn’t mean—”
Thud, thud.
Before I could finish speaking, Baek Jae-heon strode toward me. His eyes flashed sharply, and I flinched instinctively.
But before I could even think of avoiding him, his arms wrapped tightly around me.
“……”
“……”
My mind went blank at the unexpected hug. All the noises filling the room disappeared at once, leaving only the sound of a heartbeat pounding against my chest. Thump, thump. His heart and mine beat together in rhythm.
It felt like the world had stopped, leaving only that sound.
My heart was racing out of control, my arms and shoulders frozen stiff. His warmth spread through me like a wave, unfamiliar and overwhelming. Confusion tangled with panic; my body reacted before my mind could keep up.
“……Baek Jae-heon.”
Still held firmly in his arms, I managed to collect myself enough to speak.
“……Sorry. I didn’t mean what I said earlier.”
“……”
“It’s just, before—”
I wanted to apologize. I wanted to tell him that I had spoken without thinking because his shadow had overlapped with the boy I used to know. That I hadn’t meant to hurt him.
But then—
“Don’t.”
His low, firm voice brushed right against my ear.
“Don’t say another word.”
His tone was commanding, yet it wasn’t the indifferent tone he usually used. There was something desperate in it. His trembling breath brushed my ear, and I could feel the quiet plea behind it. A plea begging me not to bring up that topic.
The words that had been lingering on my lips vanished instantly. His voice cut through any chance to explain or defend myself. I couldn’t even breathe properly. I just kept my mouth shut as he said, trapped in his arms, listening to the sound of our hearts pounding together.
I didn’t know how long we stayed like that. Every time his breath touched my neck, my whole body shuddered, and his warmth spread through me like fire. My heart pounded violently. The dizziness that came with it made me feel like the floor was falling away, and my body grew unbearably hot. It wasn’t the same kind of heat that came with pain; this was something else entirely.
Why is it so… hot?
The unfamiliar heat crawled down my throat and settled in my chest.
The worst part was how that heat spread everywhere because of this unexpected embrace. Ah, no… I tried desperately to suppress the trembling that came as a natural reaction, but I couldn’t stop it, and the helplessness made it worse.
The thought that I needed to pull away flashed through my mind like lightning, but I couldn’t move. His arms held me too tightly, and besides, my strength had already left me.
Please, don’t notice…
I could feel the flush spreading across my cheeks. My ears burned, and the more I tried to control my breathing, the more obvious it became. My thoughts tangled into a mess until finally—
“W-wait…”
I pushed at Baek Jae-heon’s chest and stepped back. He let me go without resistance, but his eyes… they looked slightly red. For a moment, I wondered if he had cried, but no way—he wouldn’t have cried while holding me.
“I, uh…”
“……”
“Just… wait a second.”
He looked dissatisfied that I had pulled away, and for some reason, that expression felt strangely good. Still, if I’d stayed any longer, I would’ve ended up branded a pervert or kicked out of the group altogether.
“I’m just… going to the bathroom.”
I really wasn’t planning to do anything weird there. I just needed to splash some cold water on my face and calm down.
But then Baek Jae-heon’s eyebrow twitched slightly, and his gaze slipped downward.
“U-ugh—!”
Startled, I quickly turned around and crossed my legs. Behind me, I heard a faint, amused scoff from Baek Jae-heon. The embarrassment was unbearable—I wanted to crawl into a hole and disappear. I wanted to explain that it was just a natural reaction, that I couldn’t help it, but all I could think of was that old Arabic proverb echoing in my head.






Chapter 54.2
‘When you speak, let your words be better than silence.’
Right now, no matter what I said, nothing could possibly be better than silence. My face flushed bright red, and I headed straight for the door, intent on making it to the restroom as fast as I could.
“Ahhh…!”
But then Baek Jae-heon wrapped his arms around my waist from behind. The sudden strength of his grip made my body lurch forward, and his body heat pressed hotly against my back. The force of it nearly knocked the wind out of me, and I thought, he really must be out of his mind.
No one had ever approached me this suddenly before, so my hands and feet froze while I flailed uselessly in the air. I knew I should stop him with my voice, but I was too flustered to form words.
Then, like lightning flashing through my mind, one thought struck me.
“You, you’re still a student…!”
I shoved him away and shouted without thinking.
For a moment, Baek Jae-heon’s expression hardened. His face grew cold, almost lifeless—it was like watching it rot away. There was even a trace of ridicule in his eyes, which only made me more dumbfounded.
This kid, he’s still wet behind the ears…!
Even if kids today grow up fast, there are still lines you don’t cross. I glared at him, sweeping my eyes from head to toe.
But Baek Jae-heon let out a faint, almost mocking snort through his nose, as if my reaction amused him. Then he began to walk toward me—slowly, deliberately, without hesitation.
“H-hey, stop, stop…”
My voice trembled. I hated that it did, but I couldn’t think of any way to stop him from coming closer.
In the end, I pushed at his chest with both hands, but his solid frame didn’t budge. Instead, he kept moving forward, step by step, until my back hit the wall. I was trapped between the wall and him.
His face came close—too close. A heavy shadow fell over me as his gaze swept across my face. Then, in a low voice, he spoke.
“Three days.”
“…What?”
My eyes widened instinctively. At a distance so close I could feel his breath, his short words cut through the air and pierced my ear.
“See you then.”
Those few words echoed through the room for a long time. It was impossible to tell whether it was a threat or a promise, but its strange resonance shook me to the core.
Three days later. That would be New Year’s Eve, when the bell rings to welcome the new year. Which meant that Baek Jae-heon had just told me to see him after I became an adult.
Realizing that, I took a sharp breath and turned toward him in shock, but Baek Jae-heon was already gone from the room.
“…He’s insane.”
He really was. Completely insane.
***
There was one hour left before the New Year’s Eve bell would ring.
Gwanghwamun Square was already packed with people. Colorful lights climbed up building walls and shimmered brightly, and despite the cold, the cheers of the crowd showed no sign of fading.
The members of YEARZ were in the waiting room for their final check. The wardrobe team busied themselves with straightening clothes, and the head makeup artist moved quickly, wiping away even the smallest beads of sweat. No one could relax.
“YEARZ, standby in five minutes!”
At the staff member’s call, the members all nodded in response.
I thought of the stage that would soon be lit up, and for a moment, the weight of this honor hit me all over again. It had only been four months since debut. We hadn’t even made a name for ourselves yet, and now we were about to welcome the new year in front of thousands of people. It felt like a dream.
And yet, my heart wasn’t just full of excitement. See you when you’re an adult.
The words Baek Jae-heon had whispered into my ear days ago kept echoing in my mind. I wished I could write it off as a joke, but it hadn’t sounded like one at all. Even now, as I was about to go onstage, the weight of that voice wouldn’t leave me. I had spent nights tossing and turning, barely managing to get any sleep.
I glanced over at Baek Jae-heon.
“……”
He sat with his legs crossed, looking at his phone as if nothing had ever happened. As always, I was the only one losing my mind over it.
“YEARZ, please standby!”
For now, I needed to focus on the stage. This was a performance that my family, my friends, even my relatives would be watching. No mistakes, no regrets. I had to give it my best and make it count.






Chapter 55.1
At the staff’s signal, I stepped out from the waiting area, and the flood of lights struck my eyes. Everything turned white for a moment, then the roar of the crowd surged like waves.
Gwanghwamun Square was packed so full of people that I couldn’t even see where it ended. Just a few months ago, all I ever thought about was studying, going back and forth between school and the study café. Yet now, I was standing here.
The fan signing where I’d first met fans face to face, the music show stages, even the grand AAM Awards stage—all of those had been incredible. But this was on a completely different level. Tens of thousands of eyes focused on us all at once.
My heart began pounding in rhythm with the intro beat.
My body moved naturally with the choreography, and my mind grew clearer and clearer.
Our New Year’s performance song was “SOAR.” Since I was in charge of the opening again, I took a breath and brought the mic to my lips.
“Soar, up into the sky, fly away—”
My voice pierced through the winter night air and poured across the square. Countless light sticks waved, and cheers erupted. A shiver ran down my spine at the sound.
Even the cold winter wind felt like part of the performance. Every fingertip and every step felt alive.
For a moment, all the worries that had weighed on me disappeared. When the chorus hit, the fans’ voices rose to join ours. The square turned into a massive choir, and I was singing right at its center.
The vibrations beneath my feet spread through my entire body. In that moment, the feeling of never fully belonging anywhere seemed to ease. Even though I was living my own life now, memories of my past life still clung to me, making me feel as if I were borrowing someone else’s existence.
But now, standing in this blinding light and hearing the audience’s cheers, everything felt different. The heat, the sound, the heartbeat pounding in my chest—all of it gathered around me, and an overwhelming realization washed over me. This is my life.
The boundary that had blurred and trembled between fifty years of my past life and nineteen years of this one began to loosen with the vibrations under my feet. At least in this moment on stage, it was no longer anyone else’s life but mine, Ji Myeong-hyeon’s.
“Good work! Come on, change your clothes and let’s head home!”
As soon as the performance ended, our manager’s voice echoed through the waiting room hallway. Tonight, the members were being dropped off at their family homes so everyone could spend New Year’s with their loved ones. Normally, we’d have gone straight to another schedule, but for the first time in months, we finally had a way home.
I changed out of my stage outfit into my own clothes and picked up the bag I’d packed at the dorm earlier. It struck me that it had been so long since I’d seen my mom’s face. My fingers trembled slightly as I zipped my bag shut. Since Joo I-rip and I lived in the same direction, we’d be sharing the manager’s car.
“……”
Then, from the corner of my eye, I saw Baek Jae-heon. He wasn’t carrying any luggage, only holding his phone in one hand. It really looked like he planned to stay at the dorm. I felt a twinge of concern but forced myself to ignore it as I adjusted my bag strap.
“Happy New Year, everyone! Don’t get into trouble!”
Joo I-rip shouted cheerfully as he climbed into the car. The members laughed and waved in response, and I followed him inside, waving out the window. The others, waiting for their rides in the cold air, smiled brightly as they waved back at us.
“……”
Among them was Baek Jae-heon. With both hands shoved into his pockets, he looked at me with his usual calm expression. Then, for a brief moment, his gaze flicked to my fingertips, and he pulled one hand from his pocket to give me a small wave.
Clack. Thud.
The sound of the manager closing the door cut our eye contact short. But my raised hand remained suspended in the air, unable to lower it right away.
“Who are you waving at, a ghost?”
Joo I-rip chuckled from the seat beside me.
“Huh? Oh… no.”
I laughed awkwardly and lowered my hand. The car moved smoothly onto the road, and the figures of our members grew smaller and smaller outside the window. Even then, Baek Jae-heon’s indifferent face, hands back in his pockets, lingered vividly in my mind.
The car was warm, but my heart was not. I should have been filled with excitement about finally going home, but as I stared at the passing lights outside, only one face kept coming to mind.






Chapter 55.2
‘Three days.’
‘…What?’
‘See you then.’
The words Baek Jae-heon had said so casually that day echoed again in my ears. His tone—whether it had been a joke or something else—kept striking against my chest. I couldn’t sit still. It felt like if I didn’t confirm what he meant myself, I wouldn’t be able to rest easy even if I went home.
Without thinking, I took out my phone and tapped the screen.
[23:41]
The numbers on the clock burned into my eyes, and something inside me snapped. Less than twenty minutes remained before the New Year’s bell would ring. A strange resolve welled up in me, as if it had to be now or never.
“Noona.”
“Hm?”
From the driver’s seat, the manager looked at me through the rearview mirror.
“I… could you drop me off here?”
“What?”
Her eyebrows shot up.
“You’re supposed to go home. What are you talking about?”
I took a quiet breath, trying to sound calm.
“I think I left the gift for my family at the dorm. I’ll take a taxi there, grab it, and then go home by taxi.”
“What are you saying? Do you even know what time it is right now?”
“I bought cosmetics for my mom at the duty-free shop. I really need to give them to her.”
The cosmetics for my mom were, in truth, sitting safely in the bag I was holding. But it was the only lie that seemed even remotely believable. The manager clicked her tongue in frustration. When she realized I wasn’t going to change my mind, she finally sighed and nodded.
“Fine. But once you get to the dorm, I’m calling Jae-heon to make sure you’re there.”
“Yes, please do.”
I answered briefly, doing my best not to let my trembling voice show.
The car soon came to a stop along the main road. The manager glanced at me one more time.
“I really am going to call Jae-heon and check, you know?”
“Yes. I’ll go straight there.”
Maybe because of what happened at AAM, she still didn’t trust me completely. I held my bag tightly and gave her a reassuring look as I opened the door.
The cold air brushed against my face as I stepped outside. The sound of the door closing rang out, and her car slowly disappeared down the street.
Left alone on the road, a tense feeling wrapped around my body. I stepped forward and raised my hand to hail a taxi. When one stopped, I opened the door and climbed inside, letting the warm air swallow me whole.
My heart pounded wildly as I watched the lights outside pass by the window. My thoughts were filled with only one thing—the face I was about to see.
When the taxi came to a stop, I handed the driver some cash and hurried out. The car drove off, leaving me surrounded by the cold winter air. I inhaled deeply, and the icy air sank into my lungs, making my chest ache.
I stepped inside the building, and as the automatic doors closed behind me, the noise from outside vanished at once. The lobby was quiet. The polished floor reflected the dim lights, and the elevator stood waiting at the end of the hall. I reached out to press the button, but then I thought of my phone.
My parents. I had told them I was coming home today. They were probably waiting. I took out my phone and dialed their number. After a moment, a familiar voice answered.
“Son! Are you here already?”
It was my mom. Her excited voice made my heart sink. For a second, I couldn’t answer. I forced myself to take a breath.
“Mom, I’m sorry. I don’t think I can make it home tonight.”
“Why? Did something happen?”
I closed my eyes briefly, then spoke a lie shaped to sound like the truth.
“After the performance at Gwanghwamun, I think I caught a cold from the weather. I’m not feeling great, so I’ll rest tonight and take a taxi in the morning.”
There was a pause on the other end. I could feel her trying to hide her disappointment. Then, her voice returned, softer and forcedly cheerful.
“Your health comes first. Don’t worry about us. Just rest well, okay?”
I whispered “I’m sorry” in my heart, but aloud, all I could manage was a small, “Okay.”
Then my dad’s voice came from beside her.
“Son, call me when you wake up in the morning. I’ll come pick you up.”
“…Okay. Thank you.”
I couldn’t say anything more and ended the call. Closing my eyes for a moment, I let out a long breath. What on earth was I doing?
[11:56]
When I opened my eyes again, the time glowing on the screen made my decision for me. I pressed the elevator button. The light came on, and as I watched it slowly descend, I exhaled deeply.






Chapter 56.1
Ding—
The elevator doors opened, and I stepped inside heavily. Standing alone in the narrow space, even the sound of my breathing felt unnaturally loud. As the red numbers marking each floor changed one by one, my thoughts grew more tangled.
When the elevator stopped faster than usual and the doors slid open, I found myself standing right in front of the dormitory door. The sensor lights in the hallway were off, leaving only silence in the air. I gripped the strap of my bag tightly.
I’d disappointed my parents again. Was it really right for me to come back here? What exactly was I doing right now?
I asked myself those questions over and over. For a moment, I felt the urge to just get back into the elevator, go down, hail a taxi, and return home. But my feet refused to move away from the door.
In the end, my trembling fingers pressed the passcode.
Beep— The electronic sound rang out, and the door unlocked.
The dorm was completely dark. The darkness that greeted me as soon as I stepped inside the entryway was deeper than I expected, and I hesitated for a second. Was he not back yet? Maybe he got stuck in traffic. Even if that were true, he still should have arrived before me, who had gone almost all the way home and come back. Feeling uneasy, I quickly took off my shoes and quietly stepped further into the living room.
Maybe Baek Jae-heon went to his family’s house too. The reason there hadn’t been any luggage earlier might have been because he didn’t have anything to pack. It was possible. He looked like someone from a wealthy family, after all. Maybe he didn’t need to bring gifts or extra clothes when his house had everything. In the end, I must have misunderstood. When he said he’d stay behind with just his phone in hand, it was only my imagination.
“Ha…”
A long sigh escaped on its own. I really was an idiot. I should have just gone home instead of lying to my parents. I could’ve been spending New Year’s in a warm house after the performance, but what was I doing here now? A wave of shame and self-reproach washed over me.
To think that a flutter I’d felt for the first time in sixty-nine years could make me this restless.
What was it, really, that had me so shaken at my age? If anyone knew what was going on inside me, I’d probably be too embarrassed to show my face for at least a year.
“I really am stu—”
Just as I was muttering to myself, there was a click, the sound of a door opening.
The door to the room Baek Jae-heon and I shared opened, and someone stepped out.
“Ji Myeong-hyeon?”
It was Baek Jae-heon, towel-drying his wet hair as he came out, apparently having just finished showering.
“What the—?!”
I was the one more startled. The shout burst out of me before I could stop it. He should have been the one asking me that, yet somehow I was the one yelling first.
Baek Jae-heon didn’t even blink. He calmly asked back,
“What? Did you forget something?”
I blinked in confusion, trying to process what he said. Did he think I’d come back because I left something behind? He glanced at the phone in his hand, then started walking toward me slowly.
“Oh, uh… yeah.”
I stammered, blurting out a vague answer. But he didn’t approach the way I thought he would. Instead, he headed toward the kitchen, picked up a water bottle from the island counter, opened the cap, and drank slowly.
All I could do was stare blankly at him. My gaze followed him on its own, and I didn’t know why.
“Want some?”
He asked, glancing briefly at me while holding the bottle.
“Huh? Oh, no.”
“Then what?”
“…What?”
“Why are you staring?”
I couldn’t answer. Yeah, why was I staring? Normally, I should’ve asked things like “When did you get here?” or “Didn’t you go home?” But seeing him in front of me made my mind go completely blank. I just fumbled for words like a fool, unable to say anything I wanted to.
But what I really wanted to ask was something else.
That thing he said that day—“See you in three days”—what did he mean by that? If it was just a joke, I wanted him to say so. But if it wasn’t… then what was it?






Chapter 56.2
There were so many things I wanted to say, but my throat felt constricted. Words would rise up, only to be swallowed back down. So, I could only watch. The wet hair, the indifferent expression, and the indifferent face.
Sigh…
Why did I even come here? It seems like Baek Jae-heon hasn’t given it much thought since then. I sighed inwardly and thought about just going back home. It wasn’t too late. My parents would be very happy and welcoming if I told them I was just coming home to rest. I could casually pack my things, pretend to leave, and then take a taxi downstairs.
“I… I’m going to pack my things and leave.”
“…”
The words slipped out of my mouth, but Baek Jae-heon didn’t respond. He just stared at me with his clear face. He was probably thinking, ‘Do I really need to say that?’
I moved my feet back to the room. Without turning on the light, I fidgeted with the already packed desk, trying to come up with an excuse to leave. But then—
“Hey—”
A familiar voice came from right behind me.
“Huh?”
I didn’t even realize when he had come in, but Baek Jae-heon was right behind me. The sudden scent of shampoo enveloped my body, and I froze, unable to even turn around to confirm his face.
“Seriously, why did you come?”
Baek Jae-heon’s hands rested on my desk. In an instant, my body was trapped in his embrace. My heart raced, pounding in my ears.
“Uh, to get my things…”
“You?”
He chuckled softly. It was an odd mockery, as if to say, ‘You wouldn’t forget something like that.’ My hand, hanging in the air, grabbed the strap of the bag on the desk.
“Ji Myeong-hyeon.”
He called my name and pressed his body closer. His warm body heat spread across my entire being, and his weight pressed deeply into my hips and legs. I felt breathless. It seemed like my mind was turning red.
“Uh…”
Baek Jae-heon’s chin rested on my shoulder. Soon, his lips were right by my ear. His breath tickled my ear and flowed in. My lower body, pinned to the desk, couldn’t move, and my ears were filled with his ragged breathing.
“Right now, it’s 12:04.”
At that moment, my mind seemed to explode. I quickly turned my body to face him.
Mmm—!
In that instant, Baek Jae-heon’s lips fiercely covered mine.
“Mm, uh…”
So, this is what it feels like to kiss someone. Baek Jae-heon’s lips were hot, and the air was cold. So, when his lips stuck to mine and then pulled away, my body sought his warmth, unable to bear the cold air. The rough breathing and the subtle moisture seeping through our lips blurred my senses.
Baek Jae-heon, like when he grabbed the back of my neck in the Aseudae waiting room, had one hand on my nape and the other still on the desk.
Then, suddenly, he grabbed my thighs with both hands and lifted me onto the desk.
“Eek…”
I lost my balance and, pulling his neck, parted my lips from his. But Baek Jae-heon, as if unwilling to let even that brief moment pass, immediately sought my lips again.
Then, he spread my legs and pressed his heavy member against mine. I was wearing jeans, but Baek Jae-heon was in thin training pants, so I could feel his heat and hardness clearly.
Honestly, I was too surprised. The feeling from behind and the feeling from the front were on a different level. And since I still have memories of my past life, my body accepted it, but my mind struggled to comprehend it.
“W-wait a minute…”
So, I pushed his chest with my hands, separating our lips, but Baek Jae-heon, seeing the long string of saliva between our mouths, suddenly rolled his eyes and eagerly devoured my lips again.






Chapter 57.1
Smooch. Smooch.
The only sound filling the room was the wet noise of our lips colliding. The sensation was unfamiliar, yet it flowed so naturally. I realized this was what a kiss was like, even before I could think about it. My tongue was already entwined with Baek Jae-heon’s, sliding and exploring each other.
They say late-blooming thieves are the most frightening. I had never experienced a kiss in my 69 years, and I never imagined it could be so intoxicating. In this moment, my world was completely filled with Baek Jae-heon. It seemed like I could never go back to the way things were before.
“Mm, uh…”
The moan escaping from my lips soaked the room. But something else was heating up even more intensely. The hard, swollen place pressed firmly against me from below. The tension and pressure were almost unbearable, causing my entire body to tremble. It was a sensation I had never experienced before. My mind was dizzy and disoriented.
Suddenly, a very real question popped into my mind.
…Are we going to have sex today?
If so, what exactly am I supposed to do? I know nothing about male-to-male acts. I don’t know about women either. In my past life, the only descriptions I had were brief passages in martial arts novels I occasionally read for fun. Even then, I didn’t feel any particular excitement, so I thought I was just asexual. That’s why I never had a relationship or got married, even at fifty.
But that wasn’t the case. My body was responding very clearly now. My legs automatically wrapped around Baek Jae-heon’s waist, and my body pressed against him, seeking more heat. It was a surprisingly honest desire, even to myself.
So, are we really going to have sex today?
Honestly, I’m not sure. I did think about losing my 69-year-old virginity today, but I also wanted to wait until I was more prepared. But more importantly, I needed to know what Baek Jae-heon was thinking. If this was just a moment of curiosity or impulse, I might be devastated. But even so, I wouldn’t regret it. At least, I was grateful that my first kiss was with Baek Jae-heon.
Beep— Beep—
The vibration of a phone on the desk broke the mood. The atmosphere shifted momentarily, but Baek Jae-heon ignored it and continued to capture my lips. However, I was reminded of my manager and quickly pushed him away.
“Huh?”
He asked softly, his breath brushing against me.
“I need to take this call…”
“Later.”
“No, I have to now, uh…”
When I turned my head to push him away, Baek Jae-heon sighed in frustration and buried his face in my neck. With trembling fingers, I felt around the desk for the source of the vibration. There, upside down and still ringing, was Baek Jae-heon’s phone. The screen displayed [Manager Sister].
‘This is bad.’
I picked up the phone and glanced at Baek Jae-heon. But he was still buried in my neck, kissing me feverishly. Eventually, I pressed the answer button.
“Hello, sister.”
[Huh? Myeong-hyeon?]
“Yes.”
[Why aren’t you answering your phone!]
I thought I had received a call earlier too. I must have missed the vibration because my phone was in my bag. I quickly made up a lie.
“Uh, I… it was charging.”
[Oh, really? Are you at the dorm?]
“Yes.”
[But where’s Jae-heon? Why are you answering?]
She must have called me first, and when I didn’t answer, she called Baek Jae-heon.
Since we were on speakerphone, Baek Jae-heon was probably listening to the entire conversation. But he was so focused on kissing my neck that he didn’t respond.
“…We’re eating.”
[Now? At this time?]
The best lies are the ones that mix with the truth, so it wasn’t entirely a lie since he was “eating” at my neck.






Chapter 57.2
“Yes, well. We’re still growing…”
[Oh, you’re all grown up now, what growth are you talking about.]
My manager sister laughed at her own joke, and I forced a laugh in response. Inside, I was desperately hoping she would end the call soon.
[Anyway, are you going home?]
“No. My dad is coming to pick me up tomorrow morning, so I’m staying at the dorm.”
[Ah, really? I was going to come get you, but that’s good then.]
Her voice brightened when I mentioned my dad was picking me up. She probably wanted to go home and spend time with her family, but I guess she was worried about me.
“Yes. So, please don’t worry about me.”
I tried to reassure her and ended the call. Then, I looked at Baek Jae-heon’s phone screen and was a bit shocked.
[12:53 AM]
I couldn’t believe how time had flown. Baek Jae-heon had definitely told me it was 12:04 before we started kissing, and we had been lost in time for nearly 50 minutes.
“Baek Jae-heon…”
“… “
“Baek Jae-heon—”
When I called his name a second time with emphasis, Baek Jae-heon finally seemed to come to his senses, lifting his head from my neck.
“What.”
His mind seemed to have returned, but his eyes were still glazed over. But if not now, I didn’t think we would ever define our relationship properly, so I gathered my courage and brought up the topic.
“So, um, what do we do now?”
“What do you mean?”
“…We, um, we kissed.”
Embarrassed and afraid, I couldn’t meet his gaze and looked down. If I had more dating experience, I could have pushed through manfully, but I couldn’t, and it made me feel a bit ashamed.
“…”
Even with my downcast eyes, I could feel Baek Jae-heon staring at me, but for some reason, he didn’t say anything. Then, embarrassment turned into fear within me. Was he really just doing this out of curiosity or lust? My mind started to spin.
“I—”
“…”
“I’m not doing this because I want to date you.”
Those words made my heart sink. It felt like something inside me was shattering. Of course, it made sense. What kind of relationship definition could we have between two men? I tried to accept it logically, but a wave of emptiness overwhelmed me.
‘I guess that makes sense.’
I tried to convince myself. What kind of relationship definition could we have between two men? That statement seemed like a very realistic truth. Logically, I thought I should accept it, but my heart didn’t. An endless wave of emptiness washed over me, engulfing my entire being.
‘What have I done? What was I expecting?’
I muttered to myself, berating myself. At the same time, a suppressed anger began to rise. I resented Baek Jae-heon for putting me in this situation. Why did he give me false hope? Why did he draw me in like this and now cut me off? A mix of hatred and despair made my chest feel even more constricted.
Yet, even as my body pushed him away, a part of me still wanted to hold on. ‘Maybe I misheard, or maybe there’s another meaning,’ I thought, clinging to a slender hope.
I tried to push him away, saying I understood his feelings, but even that gesture was weak with uncertainty.
Then, Baek Jae-heon firmly grabbed both of my arms. His grip felt like a silent command, ‘Don’t run away.’ As I met his gaze through ragged breaths, the confusion deepened.
“That ‘dating’ thing isn’t what I’m after.”
For a moment, it felt like my breath caught in my throat. Baek Jae-heon’s eyes deepened. I couldn’t even ask what he meant; I just stared at him blankly.
“For you, this might just be a casual fling.”
“…”
He continued, his voice steady and sincere.
“But for me, it’s not.”
His face held an unmistakable sincerity.
Baek Jae-heon was like the sea. He was a vast wave. I couldn’t pinpoint exactly what he was, but I could feel the depth of his heart. It was a sincerity coming from a place far deeper and wider than I could comprehend.






Chapter 58.1
The air in the room was already thick with tension, making it hard to breathe. Baek Jae-heon’s last words washed over me like a wave, pulling me in while also making me feel like I was being dragged down to the depths.
“…So, what do you want then?”
I managed to ask, my voice weak but sincere. I truly wanted to know.
Baek Jae-heon’s gaze, fixed on my face, was intense. His seemingly indifferent eyes were too deep and unfamiliar, like an abyss I could never reach.
“I don’t want anything.”
I couldn’t understand anything. I didn’t know what he felt for me, what he wanted to do with me, nothing was clear.
“You just need to be like this.”
Yet, instinctively, I felt it. Baek Jae-heon wasn’t treating me lightly. Instead, he was holding me tightly, impossibly close.
“I don’t understand anything…”
My voice trembled. Honestly, I didn’t understand anything. I just wanted to confirm the excitement I felt after 69 years. If asked if I wanted to label this as love, yes, I did. It might seem childish to others, but it was my first and most precious feeling. So, I desperately wanted to confirm that we felt the same way.
“Tell me…”
But Baek Jae-heon was… too deep. Was it scary? Of course not. It was so good that I wanted to drown in it. But if he didn’t put it into words, that overwhelming feeling would soon turn into fear. I was still clumsy, despite my age, when it came to interpreting my own feelings.
…
I revealed my eagerness to know, but Baek Jae-heon remained silent. That silence both increased my anxiety and, at the same time, his gentle embrace soothed my negative feelings.
I didn’t ask any more questions. Yes, whatever it was, it didn’t matter. For now, this was enough. Being in his arms, feeling the strength of his embrace, was more than enough for this moment.
“Can we do it again…”
I tilted my head slightly and asked Baek Jae-heon if we could kiss again. He chuckled softly and, like he did in the Aseudae waiting room, gently bumped his head against mine.
“Never kissed before?”
“Uh…”
“Never mind, don’t say it.”
Baek Jae-heon asked playfully, then suddenly turned serious, frowning. ‘Why is he doing this?’ I wondered, but I didn’t really want to respond. If I did, the only answer would be, ‘Yes.’
So, was he asking to kiss again, or to touch? I swallowed hard, fidgeting with the collar of his shirt. I wanted more. Even after doing this for nearly fifty minutes, I wanted fifty, a hundred, no, five hundred more minutes like this.
“…Let’s do it.”
So, I begged to kiss again. But Baek Jae-heon, as if surprisingly, widened his eyes and looked at me with a slightly serious expression.
“What?”
What, really? I thought, surprised. We had just been at it for fifty minutes, so what was there to be surprised about?
“…”
Seeing my expression, Baek Jae-heon seemed to be deep in thought. Then, suddenly, he grabbed my hand and pulled me closer, placing it on the front of his pants.
“Hey, hey…”
I tried to pull my arm away, startled, but his grip was too strong. I had a feeling we might have sex, or something similar, but I wasn’t expecting him to be so aggressive. I wasn’t mentally prepared yet.
As I struggled to free my hand, a soft laugh from Baek Jae-heon echoed above me. Wondering why he was laughing, I looked up, and his lips immediately captured mine again.
Surprised by the sudden kiss, I quickly adjusted, no longer just receiving his tongue but exploring his teeth. But I was still clumsy. I focused only on his mouth, while Baek Jae-heon teased me by pulling away and pressing in, heightening my excitement. Why was he so good at this? I felt a pang of jealousy, but that thought quickly vanished.






Chapter 58.2
An unidentified bodily fluid mingled, and my head and body quickly grew hot again. I could feel Baek Jae-heon’s cock growing more prominent in my hand.
I swear I had never touched another person’s body before, but human instinct is truly frightening. My hand began to fidget with the front of Baek Jae-heon’s pants, and I felt his grip on my wrist loosen. But I wasn’t doing anything particularly skilled; I was just rubbing over his clothes. I thought this wasn’t very sexually appealing, so I hesitated for a moment.
However, as soon as my hand stopped, Baek Jae-heon immediately grabbed my wrist again, as if urging me to continue. But I couldn’t bring myself to touch him again. When I pulled away and looked at Baek Jae-heon’s face, his expression was so eager that I couldn’t move my hand. I was too captivated by his expression.
“Baek Jae-heon…”
“What.”
“You’re really sexy…”
As soon as I said that, Baek Jae-heon’s eyes flickered, and he immediately found my lips again. Instead of words or breath, he answered with his lips. His movements were confident, and I was once again consumed by his breath. There was no time to catch my breath as our tongues and lips intertwined, and I couldn’t help but moan. My hand also unconsciously returned to Baek Jae-heon’s cock, feeling the heat that was even more intense than before. The sensation of his prominence sent an inexplicable tremor through my core.
Time had lost all meaning. We were lost in exploring each other’s heat, kissing frantically. The darkness in the room seemed to deepen, and I couldn’t tell if this was reality or a dream.
But then, it happened.
‘Beep— Beep— Beep—’
Suddenly, an electronic sound echoed from the direction of the front door. It was a familiar sound from the dorm’s keypad. But unlike usual, a chill ran down my spine.
My heart skipped a beat.
The heat that had filled my mind just moments ago shattered into pieces, replaced by cold fear and confusion.
‘Who is it? My manager sister? Or the other members?’
In the span of a few seconds, dozens of possibilities raced through my mind. If someone caught us in this situation? Our wet lips, our disordered breathing, my hand still on his front… There was no way to explain any of it.
My heart wasn’t just racing; it was pounding so hard it felt like it was hitting my eardrums. I couldn’t breathe. My instincts took over. I reflexively pushed Baek Jae-heon away.
“W-wait!”
I pushed him roughly, and Baek Jae-heon’s body receded. Surprise flashed across his eyes. He was taken aback by my unexpected reaction, but his excitement hadn’t yet subsided, so he quickly leaned towards me again.
But my body blocked him. All my senses were focused on the front door.
‘Beep— Beep— Beep—’
The sound echoed again. Someone was incorrectly entering the keypad code, trying again. It was no longer just a coincidence; it was a clear sign that someone was there.
“…”
I panted heavily, wiping my lips with the back of my hand. The sensation of my still-hot lips lingered, and I desperately wanted to erase it. The dampness on my fingertips was a stark reminder of what we had just done.
My collar was disheveled, and my sweat-soaked hair clung to my forehead. With trembling hands, I pushed my hair back and barely managed to whisper.
“Someone’s coming…”
My urgent voice made Baek Jae-heon slowly turn his gaze towards the front door. His lips were still wet, and his chest heaved with heavy breaths. But he didn’t move. It was as if he wanted to believe the sound was an illusion, or maybe he didn’t care if we were caught.
“Have you lost your mind…!”
I gritted my teeth and pushed him away again, this time more firmly. My hands trembled with the effort. Only then did Baek Jae-heon exhale deeply, reluctantly stepping back. There was even a hint of resentment in his eyes.






Chapter 59.1
But right now, tension had reached its peak, and Baek Jae-heon had no time to care about anything else.
Gulp. He swallowed hard and stepped out of the room.
From the front door, the sound came again. Beep beep— beeeep.
The door didn’t open this time either. Only the sound indicating a wrong password echoed. And again, the same mechanical beeps of someone pressing the keypad in a steady rhythm filled the silence.
I took a deep breath.
‘Why… Why does it keep being wrong?’
Anyone who knew the dorm password wouldn’t get it wrong this many times. Whether it was a member, the manager, or the team leader—none of them would be coming in at this hour anyway, but even if they did, they would have opened it on the first try.
My heart started pounding again. Earlier, it had been from embarrassment and panic at the thought of being caught. But this time, it was a different kind of anxiety. An unfamiliar, inexplicable chill crept up my spine.
“…Why do they keep getting it wrong?”
I murmured, and Baek Jae-heon frowned, glaring toward the entrance. His rough breathing was slowly calming down. The heat that had filled the air moments ago was fading, replaced by a creeping chill that seemed to smother it.
Then, once again, the electronic beeps rang out.
Beep beep— beeeep.
Another error sound, without fail.
I hesitated, then finally stood up. The instant my bare feet touched the cold, hard floor, my heart began to race even faster. Jae-heon seemed to feel the same thing. Sensing that something was wrong, he followed closely behind me.
As we walked slowly toward the entrance, I pressed the intercom button to turn on the screen.
And at that moment, my breath caught in my throat.
On the screen stood someone wearing a cap pulled low, the lower half of their face hidden behind a thick mask. Just from the outline of the shoulders and body, I could tell it was a woman. But what was far more disturbing was her behavior.
She kept pressing the same numbers—or random combinations—over and over again. Her fingers never stopped moving, and every time, the password was wrong. The door didn’t open, yet the more it failed, the more persistently she pressed.
“…Who is that?”
I muttered, staring fixedly at the screen. My heart was pounding, a primal alarm in my chest screaming danger.
Her silhouette was clearly that of a woman, but her movements were unnatural. Like a machine repeating the same motion. Her head was bowed low, so I couldn’t see her face. The brim of her hat cast a deep shadow, hiding any expression.
Baek Jae-heon stared at the screen, frozen.
“…”
His face stiffened, the color draining from it, and I could tell he was taking this even more seriously than I was.
I whispered cautiously,
“Maybe… maybe she just came to the wrong door?”
I said it to calm him down, but no matter how I thought about it, her behavior was strange. Normally, if someone went to the wrong place, they’d knock a few times, look up to check the unit number, make a call, or just leave after a moment. But she didn’t stop.
Then Jae-heon, still tense, stepped forward and pressed the intercom’s microphone button.
“Who are you?”
His short question echoed through the speaker.
The moment he spoke, the woman’s fingers froze.
Beep.
The keypad stopped mid-press, and her movement came to a complete halt.
Both of us held our breath.
Then slowly, she lifted her head. Her eyes were hidden under the cap, but somehow I knew she was staring straight into the camera—straight at us. It felt like she could see right through us.
A shiver ran down my spine.
“…What the hell?”
I whispered. Jae-heon didn’t answer. His hand had gone pale, stiffened on top of the intercom button.
Then the woman began to move again. At first, I thought she was crying. But as faint sounds reached my ears, I quickly realized that wasn’t it.
Heh. Heh-heh. Hhkk.
She was laughing.
Even though her face was hidden by the cap and mask, I could feel the madness in her laughter. No—somehow, I could see it.
She kept laughing for a while, then turned her body and disappeared from the screen. There were no footsteps, no sound at all.
“…”
For a long time, I couldn’t speak. It was too strange, too unreal. I started to wonder if maybe I had imagined the whole thing.






Chapter 59.2
“Maybe it was just… someone who came to the wrong place?”
I forced the words out, but my voice trembled.
At that moment, Baek Jae-heon, who was beside me, suddenly bent over and lowered his head. His shoulders began to shake, and I could hear the harsh sound of his breathing.
“…Baek Jae-heon?”
When I approached, he covered his face with both hands and muttered under his breath.
“Ha… ha…”
His eyes darted around wildly, filled with terror. The usual calm and solid expression he wore was gone. His gaze was that of someone in complete panic.
“Hey, what’s wrong?”
“Call… the police…”
“Huh? Wait, calm down first. It could just be someone who came to the wrong place.”
I quickly grabbed him as his legs gave out like he was about to collapse, but he shook his head, unable to finish his words.
“No… that laugh, it’s the same. It’s the same…”
“…What do you mean, the same?”
“It’s not time yet… there’s still a year left, so why…”
I didn’t even fully understand what he meant, but suddenly, thud—my breath stopped. Jae-heon had never told me anything, and I had no proof, yet I could instantly tell what he was talking about.
It was from a past life. Right now, Baek Jae-heon was overlapping the memory or shadow of something terrible that had happened in his previous life with what was happening now. I didn’t know what it was, but it must have been something that had terrified him deeply.
“I’ll call the police.”
I pulled out my phone and pressed 112. My fingers trembled so much that it was hard to press the numbers properly. After finally connecting the call, I hurriedly explained the situation.
“There’s an unknown woman standing in front of our door… she kept pressing the keypad, and when we spoke through the intercom, she laughed and disappeared. One of us is in a state of panic. Please come quickly.”
The police said, “Was there any harm done? We’ll be there immediately,” then ended the call. After hanging up, I took a deep breath. Looking at Jae-heon, who was completely shaken, I felt like I was about to panic too.
I quickly called our manager next.
“Hyung, please come to the dorm right now. Someone strange came and left. But Jae-heon’s condition is…”
Before I could even finish, the manager’s voice trembled.
[What? I’ll be there right now. Don’t open the door, no matter what.]
The manager, clearly alarmed, said he would come immediately. I could hear family voices in the background, and I felt a pang of guilt for disturbing him so late, but warning him about the suspicious person at our door took priority.
After hanging up, I went back to Jae-heon. His eyes were closed, as if he was trying to calm himself down, but his hands were still trembling. Without hesitation, I held them tightly.
A few minutes later, the doorbell rang. When I went to check, two police officers were standing outside.
“Uh, oh…”
I opened the door, and one of the officers immediately recognized me, hesitating for a moment. Then, realizing the seriousness of the situation, he told his partner to retrieve the CCTV footage. As soon as one officer left, the manager and the team leader rushed into the dorm, both looking grim.
“What happened?”
“There really was someone?”
With a shaking voice, I explained everything step by step. What I saw on the intercom screen, the unnervingly repetitive movement of the woman’s fingers, and how she laughed before vanishing.
When the officer returned with the CCTV footage, we all watched together, and everyone went completely still.
“There was definitely someone standing there. The figure appears to be female.”
“The face is hard to identify, since it’s covered by a mask and hat. But her behavior is definitely not normal.”
I sat beside Jae-heon, who was trembling again, and held his hand tightly.
The police said they would coordinate with the security company to analyze the CCTV footage and increase patrols in the area for the time being.
When the incident finally came to an end, a heavy silence settled inside the dorm.
My heart was still pounding hard.
The image wouldn’t leave my mind. I looked at Baek Jae-heon, who seemed broken beside me. I held his hand and tried to comfort him, but somewhere deep inside, a chilling thought kept creeping in.
‘This isn’t just some bad incident. There’s definitely something behind this.’






Chapter 60.1
I could not sleep a wink that night.
That strange laughter that hadn’t even been heard clearly through the intercom kept echoing in my ears, and every time I tried to close my eyes, the gaze on the screen came back vividly. The moment I shut my eyes, it became clearer, and when I opened them again, exhaustion crashed over me like waves.
Baek Jae-heon must not have slept at all either. When I woke up, he was sitting blankly on the bed. His face was pale, his shoulders stiff, and his eyes hollow. There was none of his usual calm and steady composure. I sat beside him for a while, watching quietly, when my phone suddenly vibrated in my hand.
“…Yes, Father.”
[Myeong-hyeon, I’m in front of your dorm. Do you want to come down?]
It was the same firm yet warm voice as always. But this time, I hesitated with my eyes closed for a moment. Normally, I would have immediately packed my things and rushed out to greet him happily. Yet now, the thought of leaving this boy beside me behind was unbearable.
I briefly replied that I understood and hung up. Then I sent my father a text message, asking if I could bring one of the members with me.
I knew he would say yes without question, so without waiting for a reply, I put my phone down and slowly approached Baek Jae-heon.
“…Do you want to come with me? To my house.”
The moment I said it, I regretted it a little. He hadn’t slept all night, and maybe he just wanted to rest alone somewhere quiet. I was worried I was bothering him.
But Jae-heon didn’t respond with his usual indifferent “No, it’s fine.” His faintly trembling shoulders told me that staying alone in the dorm frightened him more.
“It’s fine. My dad and mom will understand.”
When I smiled softly and reassured him, he lifted his head and looked straight at me.
“…Why?”
He kept staring for so long that I wondered if there was something on my face, so I touched my cheek and asked again. Then he let out a weak laugh and answered in a barely audible voice.
“…Okay. Let’s go.”
That one answer made me feel relieved. I didn’t want to leave him alone.
When we went down to the front entrance, my father was standing there. The morning sunlight wrapped around his back, and his familiar shadow stretched long across the ground. The moment he saw Jae-heon standing next to me, his eyebrows lifted slightly.
Then he broke into a wide smile.
“Oh, it’s Jae-heon!”
He strode over with his broad frame, grasped Jae-heon’s shoulders with both hands, and patted them warmly.
“You look even better in person! So, you’re coming with us?”
The words came out naturally, but Jae-heon’s expression stiffened. He stopped for a second, as if swallowing his breath, wearing a slightly bewildered look. Maybe it was because my father looked so robust that it surprised him for a moment.
He lowered his head and spoke softly.
“…I’m sorry. I hope I’m not being a bother.”
My father laughed heartily and patted him on the back again.
“A bother? Don’t be silly. If you’re in the same group as my Myeong-hyeon, then you’re my son too.”
And in that instant, I felt something in Baek Jae-heon shift ever so slightly. At those words — “you’re my son too” — it was as if an old wall inside him had cracked. But he quickly hid his expression again and followed us to the car.
I took the front seat, and Jae-heon sat in the back. As the car started moving, sunlight poured through the window. The sky was clear, and the buildings cast long shadows. The scenery looked so peaceful that it almost felt strange.
When I glanced back, Jae-heon was sitting upright at first, gazing out the window. But soon, weariness overtook him, and his head gently drooped forward.
Holding my breath, I quietly looked at his face.
The tense and fearful expression he had worn all night was gone, replaced by something peaceful — as if he had finally laid down all the weight of the world for a moment. The corners of his lips were slightly lowered, and that faint, serene look made my chest warm.
‘I’m glad. At least he can rest like this.’
I had seen countless faces over sixty-nine years of life, but never had someone’s peaceful expression moved me this deeply. Sunlight brushed softly against his face through the car window. For that moment, I hoped that light would take away all his fear and anxiety with it.






Chapter 60.2
I let out a small sigh of relief and turned my head back, only to meet my father’s eyes through the rearview mirror as he glanced at Jae-heon.
“Son, this is the first time you’ve brought a friend home, isn’t it?”
“Sorry for the sudden visit.”
Afraid of waking Jae-heon, my father and I kept our voices low.
“What’s there to be sorry for? If he’s in the same group as you, then he’s my son too.”
For a split second, a ridiculous thought flashed in my mind—That can’t be right. You can’t call them both your sons… — but I quickly brushed it away and gave an awkward laugh.
“By the way, are you feeling better? You said you were sick yesterday.”
At that, I immediately turned around. What if Baek Jae-heon heard that? If he found out I told my parents I was sick and came back to the dorm early, I would’ve died from embarrassment.
Fortunately, Jae-heon was still asleep, so I finally managed to answer that I was fine. I decided not to mention the chaos from dawn. It would only make them worry for nothing.
“It’s been a while since we’ve gone somewhere together like this.”
“Yeah, it has.”
“Oh, right. Son, later, sign about thirty autographs for me.”
“For your students?”
“Yeah. They’ve been begging me nonstop for them.”
Watching my father shake his head in exasperation about his students’ pestering made me laugh. I said I’d do it.
I liked this peace.
But peace never lasted long.
“Holy crap! It’s Baek Jae-heon!”
My little sister’s loud voice rang through the hallway. She had inherited my father’s powerful lungs. And right behind her, my mother came over with a bright smile.
“Oh my, my son’s home—”
But then she spotted Jae-heon, who was quietly following behind me with his head slightly bowed, and her eyes widened.
“Oh my goodness! Baek Jae-heon!”
She covered her mouth with both hands and let out a quieter shriek than my sister’s. The two of them were like mirror images.
“Mom! Can you believe this? His face looks like CGI!”
“I know, right…? My goodness, how can someone look like that…?”
My face burned with embarrassment as I waved my hands.
“Ji Young-hyo. Quiet.”
“How can I be quiet? It’s YEARZ’s Baek Jae-heon!”
Young-hyo jumped up and down, shouting. I said, “Your brother’s in YEARZ too, you know?” but my words seemed to vanish into thin air before they reached her ears.
“Oh my, Jae-heon, you look so much better in person.”
My mother clasped her hands together like a teenage girl, staring at his face as if mesmerized. Jae-heon didn’t seem burdened by it at all; instead, he bowed slightly and apologized for coming unannounced.
“Oh no, what are you saying? If you’re in the same group as our Myeong-hyeon, you’re my son too. Come in and have a seat.”
My mother said the same thing my father had, gently patting Jae-heon’s shoulder. For a brief moment, Jae-heon had the same curious expression he’d shown when meeting my father earlier. Why did he look so intrigued? My mother and I looked exactly alike. Ah, maybe he just found the resemblance uncanny.
Then began the real ordeal.
Food. Endless food. My mother kept bringing out dishes. She had said we’d just have a light breakfast, but soon there were seven side dishes on the table, followed by fruit, cookies, rice cakes, and kimchi pancakes for dessert.
Since I didn’t eat much to begin with, I stopped after the cookies, but Jae-heon kept eating everything without saying no, as if he couldn’t refuse her. And he looked completely fine while doing it, so I started wondering if he just had a huge appetite. I never knew—during schedules, he only ever ate meals and avoided snacks completely.
“Hey… stop eating already.”
Knowing he usually didn’t eat junk food, I thought he was forcing himself and gently patted his back, trying to stop him. But Jae-heon looked at me as if wondering why I was stopping him, and I froze for a moment. I had meant to save him, but that wasn’t it. He was eating because he wanted to. Embarrassed, I quietly withdrew my hand.
“Jae-heon, you really eat so well. You look like a prince, but you’re so adorable—”
My mother, apparently charmed by him, kept bringing out more food. Just when I thought the kimchi pancakes were the end of it, she came out holding ice cream.
“Here, have some of this too, Jae-heon.”
“Yes, ma’am.”
It was funny how she offered it to him first without even glancing my way.
“Myeong-hyeon, do you want some too?”
Before I could answer, Jae-heon took the ice cream my mother handed him, and my sister spoke up for me instead.
“Mom, he doesn’t eat that. He says it’s too cold.”






Chapter 61.1
Right, there were some things that strangely carried over even after reincarnation. One of them was ice cream. I hadn’t liked cold ice cream in my past life either. My teeth would ache after a few bites, and I would give up soon after, so I preferred things like popsicles instead. That habit stayed with me in this life too. Whenever I thought of ice cream, the first thing that came to mind was the sting in my teeth, so I rarely reached for it. It was a habit ingrained since childhood, so even when my mom occasionally brought some home, I always ended up eating the same thing. But today, of all days, what she brought happened to be the bar type. I shook my head slightly, saying that I wouldn’t eat it, just as Young-hyo had said.
“…What’s wrong?”
At that moment, Baek Jae-heon turned his gaze toward me. It was as if he had been watching me all along, his eyes resting squarely on my face. The moment I noticed, the faint lift of his eyes sent a strange tremor through my chest. I raised my eyebrows as if to ask what he meant by that look, but Baek Jae-heon didn’t open his mouth. Instead of answering, he just looked at me in silence, as if seeing straight through me.
“Maybe you seem like a grandpa to him.”
Young-hyo cut through the moment with a teasing laugh. I frowned and said, “I just don’t like the cold touching my teeth.” She lowered her head, chuckling like it was the funniest thing in the world. I felt a little wronged to be teased over something so trivial, but the one who bothered me wasn’t my sister. It was Baek Jae-heon, who still hadn’t taken his eyes off me.
I looked back at him without much thought, and before I knew it, my gaze drifted naturally to his lips. Having just bitten into the ice cream, they glistened faintly. That small trace instantly brought back the memory of last night. Lips tangled in a frenzy, breaths cold as they seeped in, the feverish sensations that had burned into my body—everything replayed in vivid detail. A shiver ran down from the top of my head to the tips of my toes, and at the same time, heat rushed to my face. Could it be that Baek Jae-heon was thinking of the same thing while looking at me right now? The thought alone made it hard to breathe, and I couldn’t even avert my eyes.
“…Ah, the ice cream is melting.”
I forced my gaze away, speaking with my face burning red. What I meant was “Stop staring at me,” but Baek Jae-heon hesitated for a moment, then briefly dropped his gaze to my lips. Then, with a soft sigh, “Ah…,” he turned his head away, a faint blush coloring his own face. So he must have just remembered last night too.
“Get some rest until lunch.”
My mom’s voice came from the living room. Only then did my face cool down a little, but the word “lunch” immediately echoed in my ears. Since I had already eaten in the morning, I didn’t think I could take another bite. I planned to politely say I was too full. But then,
“Yes.”
I heard Baek Jae-heon’s polite reply to my mom. The words I had prepared vanished on my lips.
“Show Myeong-hyeon’s room to him.”
“Oh… should I?”
My father, who had been hiding in the master bedroom to escape my mom’s endless line of dishes, appeared as soon as the food parade seemed to end. I had nothing else to do, so I nodded toward Baek Jae-heon, signaling him to come to my room.
“Sure.”
Baek Jae-heon popped the rest of his ice cream into his mouth, stood up, and followed behind me. Curious as ever, my grade-school sister Ji Young-hyo tried to follow us—or rather, to follow him—but our parents stopped her, telling her not to bother her brother’s guest.
So, in the end, only the two of us entered my room. Baek Jae-heon looked calm on the surface, but his eyes were filled with curiosity. It was just an ordinary high school boy’s room, so I couldn’t understand what was so fascinating. I stood by the door, watching him quietly. His eyes wandered around the room until they settled on my desk. Walking over, he spotted the small photo frames sitting on it and began to look at them.
“How old were you here?”
“That one? Nine.”
Then he picked one up. It was a photo taken when I was nine, standing in front of my father’s dojo, wearing a martial arts uniform and pouting. My parents loved that photo, apparently because my expression was livelier than usual. They said I had always been rather expressionless since birth, so they found that picture—where I looked adorably sulky—so cute that they had to keep it. Every time they saw it, they asked why I had been pouting that day, and every time, I told them I couldn’t remember.






Chapter 61.2
But the truth is, I already knew. That day was the day my younger sister, Young-hyo, was brought home after being born. In both my past and present lives, I had never been a greedy person, yet for some reason, I felt jealous that day. But soon, shame followed, along with the thought that “a person’s desires truly have no end,” and I stopped being jealous.
Anyway, that photo was precious to me. It felt like proof that this life was not an illusion but a real reality. As if it confirmed that my existence now wasn’t just something I had imagined.
“You look the same as when you were little.”
“Huh? Oh, well…”
It seemed that Baek Jae-heon also liked the photo. Holding the frame, he stared at the younger version of me for a long time.
“You’ve always looked the same.”
Was I really that similar to my childhood self? Maybe so. People often said my face hadn’t changed much as I grew up. Even after debuting, fans somehow managed to find my childhood photos and made handheld fans with them. I didn’t have to see to know that the culprits were either Ji Young-hyo or my mother.
Baek Jae-heon set the frame down and slowly turned his head. When he spotted me standing by the door, he began to walk toward me.
“…Are you going to the living room?”
I thought maybe he wanted to step out, so I moved to the side, pressing myself against the wall to give him space. But instead of leaving, Baek Jae-heon walked right up to me, reached out his hand, and pressed the lock on the doorknob.
“…”
Before I could even wonder, “Why is he locking the door?” I instinctively knew what was going to happen next.
My body understood before my mind did. My heart began to beat faster, as if warning me of what was about to come. I raised my hand, intending to catch his face, but before I could, Baek Jae-heon braced one hand against the wall behind me and brought his lips down.
“Mmph…”
Soft, wet sounds spread through the room. His lips pressed against mine repeatedly, lingering and pulling away in turns. I finally brought both my hands up to hold his face, accepting the sensation. The memory of yesterday overlapped with the feeling of now, completely swallowing me whole.
The sharp, electric thrill of last night returned, seeping into me once again. The heavy, sticky breaths, the memory of lips clinging every time they met—it all came rushing back, and heat began to build low in my stomach. The warmth wasn’t just on my face. It felt as though my heart had sunk into my abdomen, pumping hot blood through every part of my body. My mind was consumed by that rush, and I felt like I would lose myself again, just like yesterday.
Then suddenly, Baek Jae-heon pulled away.
“…Huh?”
Just moments ago, he seemed to be burning with the same heat as I was. Why stop now? Yesterday, even when the door code beeped wildly at the front door, he hadn’t cared at all and had continued to devour my lips. But now? Had he heard something outside? I looked up at him, confused, my breath caught in my throat.
But Baek Jae-heon was different. He didn’t seem to care about what was happening outside. His gaze was darker now as he looked at me. That look wasn’t just desire, nor was it teasing. Before I could form a single question, he quietly spoke.
“When you were nine.”
“…What?”
It was so out of nowhere. Nine years old, right now? I reflexively asked, and he immediately added,
“You were so cute.”
“…What?”
My heart dropped, then began to pound violently. I was more startled than when he first kissed me. To hear the word “cute” come out of Baek Jae-heon’s mouth—it wasn’t something I had ever imagined. It felt strange, embarrassing, yet somehow warm, as if it softly brushed against the deepest part of my heart.
I couldn’t speak. What was I supposed to say to that? I couldn’t exactly reply with “You’re cute too,” since I’d never seen him at nine years old. In the end, I said nothing, simply staring at him blankly, replaying his words in my mind.
Then Baek Jae-heon spoke again.
“I’m glad.”
“…Glad?”
I became even more confused. Was he glad that I was cute when I was nine? Or that I had grown up from that same boy and ended up here, as his fellow member? My head is filled with question marks. Yet strangely, I didn’t dislike what he said. No, rather, it felt like his words gently wrapped around my heart.
Because when he said it, his face wasn’t playful—it was sincere. His eyes really did carry the feeling of being “glad.” Seeing that, I felt so full of emotion that there was no need to ask why.