---

Chapter One

Riley
“What are you feeling for dinner? We can’t have chicken every single night,” I mutter. “We had it last night… and the night before… oh… and the night before. What about pizza? Don’t you ever get tired of eating chicken? And if you go nab the neighbor’s chicken again, I’m going to be pissed, you hear me?”
My familiar gives exactly zero shits as her eyes stay absolutely focused on the rows of meat at the grocery store.
She’s sitting on my shoulder, loudly licking her chops while her muscles bunch up, like she’s just going to dive into the cooler and wallow around on top of the chicken… again.
The first time she did it, the store clerk was so livid, I was afraid that if we didn’t leave, she was going to burst a blood vessel and keel over. Kit, my familiar, seemed eager to see this happen.
“One pack, that’s it,” I say, giving in for some reason. Probably because if I don’t, she’ll continue to stare at the chicken like she’s a starving creature until we leave the store. And then she’ll go steal the neighbor’s chicken in retaliation.
I toss the meat into the cart, and Kit dives off my shoulder to guard her chicken as though anyone in this store would even think of rushing my cart to take it. The genet, a catlike animal with brown fur and black stripes, sniffs the chicken like she’s making sure I got a piece fit for a king. I wouldn’t be surprised if she thought she was a king; she sure gets her way like she’s one.
I reach out and my hand bumps into the handle of the cart before I grab it.
“Kit,” I urge while I pat my shoulder, waiting for the small, five-pound creature to return. Half of the animal is made up of a long striped tail that she uses to balance herself as she climbs trees… or my body.
Kit is too busy deciding that she wants to eat her weight in chicken as she longingly gazes at it, prepared to sink her teeth right into the packaging.
“Don’t you dare,” I warn. “Have you forgotten how embarrassed you were the last time I had to pry Styrofoam out from between your fangs?”
Aside from grabbing Kit and restraining her, I have a feeling that nothing is going to stop her from staring at that chicken… other than the screams that explode around us.
Her head snaps up and she looks around as I remember that I forgot mozzarella for the French bread pizza I’m planning on stuffing myself with tonight.
Kit leaps onto my shoulder and then we’re off.
It’s oddly hard to reach the back of the store while people scream and run toward us. Like… why’s our aisle suddenly Grand Central Station? I have some mozzarella to procure.
“RUN!” a woman shouts right before the overhead speakers crackle to life.
“Please exit the building in a safe and orderly—oh my god!” and then that cuts out.
“None of this screams ‘safe and orderly’ to me,” I comment, using my cart to separate the people streaming out of the building. A crash at the far end of the store really gets them going as someone slams into me and Kit falls off. Suddenly, she’s on the floor, attempting to avoid being trampled while I try to reach in her general direction. I snag her long tail and pull her to safety. She hisses out her complaints about nearly being stepped on.
“You alright?” I ask, scratching under her chin to calm her. Her eyes narrow, pleased, and I’m also pleased that the number of screaming people has diminished and the store is now practically clear. It makes scooting down the aisles a breeze as I head all the way back to the other end of the store for the cheese.
I snatch up the cheese and hurry toward self-checkout, finding that it’s rather nice having no lines. Maybe someone should cause chaos every time I go to the grocery store. I start scanning my items before picking up the chicken.
“Why are there tooth marks in the chicken?”
Kit looks away like that’ll make the marks disappear. I sigh and scan the chicken before grabbing the very last item in the cart. And just as I’m sliding my donuts across the scanner and into the overflowing bags, a wyvern lands right on them, crushing my groceries and busting the screen of the checkout machine while mozzarella oozes out from between its talons.
Kit hisses, pissed that her chicken now belongs to this asshole.
I watch as the wyvern lets out a battle cry before it rips open the box of donuts and helps itself to some.
“What about a mobile pickup?” I ask Kit. “We’ll do one of those… ooh, no… delivery. That sounds even better.”
The wyvern is less than happy that there are pieces of glass from the self-checkout littering its prize but still not as unhappy as I am after having wasted half an hour of my life acquiring those groceries, only to have them disappear before my eyes. My eye twitches a little while I watch the wyvern eat the donuts I’d very much looked forward to.
Like there’s a part of me that kind of wants to just punch it. Would it solve anything?
No.
Would I probably break my hand and get my arm torn off?
Yes.
Do I still want to do it?
Absolutely.
No… no.
Violence gets us nowhere.
I realize how much I’m clenching my jaw as I head toward the door. I walk out and face the crowd of onlookers. They have their phones up, recording the whole scenario, and strangely look disappointed that I didn’t get maimed or mauled by the wild creature that happened to venture into the city.
Sirens sound and the crowd parts. I decide that my only option now is to go home, order some pizza, and longingly think about the donuts the wyvern is distracted by while the people whose job it is to deal with this hurry onto the scene.
They’ll surround the monster, probably tranquilize it, and move it to a safe location, especially because it doesn’t seem overly interested in human consumption when junk food is to be had.
The unit rushes forward and gets into position, surrounding their target.
“You are under arrest, put your hands up!”
Obviously, they’re confused. Obviously, this is their first day on the job and they can’t tell the difference between a wyvern and a human since they jerk my arms down and place handcuffs on me with runes embedded in them that make my world go black.
I let out a growl of irritation as I suddenly return to being a spectacle. They read me my rights while I seethe. Is everyone determined to ruin my day? Someone grabs the handcuffs and uses them to guide me toward a vehicle that I’m ushered into.
The door slams shut and Kit leaps down to my lap where she tries to weasel her head between my back and the seat so she can chew on the handcuffs. It takes one bite to realize she’s not getting through them before she circles my lap twice, yawns loudly, and settles in to sleep.
I consider doing the same. Maybe when I wake up, I’ll be at home with my donuts and my pizza.
I close my eyes and decide a nap is in order.

“Are you seriously sleeping?” a woman asks on my right.
“I must be in a nightmare if you’re here, Imani,” I say as I feel the handcuffs release, freeing me from their restrictions and their ability to incapacitate whoever is wearing them.
My vision returns, and I see the woman in question standing right outside the car door.
Kit lets out a noise of excitement as I lightly grab her tail with my gloved hand to keep her from rushing to the traitorous woman. “Kit, don’t do it. We don’t like her.”
And then I’m left with a view of Kit leaping into Imani’s arms, making all of these irritating happy noises while she gives the woman little licks and hangs on her.
“I’ve missed you! It must be rough being stuck with such a grumpy loaf. Is he a grumpy loaf all the time now?”
“I was just arrested, and you think I should be pleased?” I ask, making sure to show her my displeased expression. “You could have at least sent stripper police after me.”
“I didn’t know how else to get you here. I tried asking, calling, stopping by your apartment. One time I saw you dive down behind a car, like you thought I wouldn’t see you crawling your way out of sight.”
“It… wasn’t one of my finer moments,” I admit with a grimace.
“I recorded it and showed everyone here. We laughed at your expense. It was very enjoyable,” Imani says as she beams at me.
She’s a gorgeous lady with dark hair that is currently being mauled by Kit, who is clambering up her shoulder and giving her light brown skin far more licks than Imani should ever want. I’ve always liked the woman… even if I’d refuse to admit it at this second. She has powerful light magic that can create barriers, and I worked with her for nearly ten years before I quit the Magical Interference Unit about three years ago. I don’t interact with her as much as I used to. It’s not because I no longer get along with any of my former coworkers; it’s because I’ve cut myself off from everything.
“I’m not coming back. I’m very happy with my job. So if that’s why you dragged me here, the answer is still no.”
“You work at a library,” she says, as if I’m not aware where I work.
“I do.”
“You are⁠—”
“Riley!” Vinny exclaims, rushing up and practically peeling me out of the car I’ve been reluctant to get out of, mostly because I’ve been hoping it would take me back home. No part of this is enjoyable as he rubs his bearded cheek all over my face and I feel a flash of magic rush up my arms. It’s a familiar magic, one I’ve felt many times before.
He’s a stout man with red hair and a long beard. His tanned skin is freckled and wrinkles around his brown eyes every time he gives me one of his smiles.
I give him a pat on the back, but it doesn’t seem like enough, so I have to give him two more back pats before he finally pulls away. Then I scoop up Kit, climb back into the back seat of the police car, and shut the door.
“You’re not going anywhere,” Imani says, beaming at me through the window like she’s gotten her smiling inspiration from horror movies.
I close my eyes and feign unconsciousness.
“You’re not dead, get your ass out here,” Imani demands as she tries the door, but I’d made sure to melt the metal together on my way in.
“Why’d you touch him?” Imani asks Vinny, knowing that what I just accomplished was because of him.
My magic works by replicating magic abilities from those I physically contact. And because Vinny can manipulate metal, the instant he touched me and I felt that magic spark in my arms, I could too.
As simple as that… okay, maybe it’s not simple at all, but it sure makes my life easier to be able to borrow whatever magic I need for the moment.
“Because I missed him,” Vinny mutters. “I can undo it.”
As soon as Vinny starts fixing the door by holding his hand over it, I swiftly fuck it up again, pleased with my ability to be a stubborn asshole because even though Vinny is quite talented with his ability to manipulate metal, the second I “borrowed” the power, I became significantly better at it.
Honestly, being a stubborn asshole is a talent of mine.
“Riley, we really do need your help,” Imani says, switching gears to see if pleading works better.
“Find someone else. I’ve retired.”
“You’re thirty-six. You can’t retire at thirty-six. And you’re too talented to have such a normal and boring job as a librarian.”
“Ms. Percy told me I’m the best helper she’s ever had. She also told me I’m cute,” I say. “We might even get married.”
“Isn’t that the lady who’s been there for like sixty-five years? There’s no way you’re the best she’s seen.”
“Sixty-nine. It’s fate.”
Vinny finally gets the door open, and Imani reaches in and grabs Kit while I watch her. Then off she goes with my familiar who is looking back at me from where she’s perched on Imani’s shoulder.
A growl escapes me as I realize that she plans to use Kit against me, and I have little choice but to follow her. Kit has no idea she’s been kidnapped. She’s just thrilled to see Imani and prepared to leave me behind.
I follow Imani and Vinny into the building.
“What do you want me for?” I ask, caving slightly.
“It’s nothing huge, I promise. We merely need you to speak to a man.”
“I hate speaking to people. I actually just hate people, I think. I like how I can shush people in the library. It makes me feel warm and tingly inside.”
It almost feels like Imani doesn’t hear me since she keeps talking about things that don’t seem to have anything to do with what I was saying. “He speaks a language that’s not recognizable and refuses to engage with our translator… though she did scream when he reached for her and then told us that he claimed that he would consume her soul if she screamed like that again. We are… unsure how serious he is.”
“So you want my soul to be consumed?” I ask.
Imani doesn’t look impressed as Kit gazes up at her. “I forgot how difficult you are to work with.”
“I’m going to do my best to remind you,” I assure her.
“Oh, I’m sure you will,” she mutters as I walk through the facility and am guided over to a door.
Not just any door, but an extremely secure door that is generally used to hide the most dangerous of criminals. And she’s over here like, “Here, head on in. Have a jolly chat.”
Imani seems to notice my look because she smiles. “It’ll be fine. We believe he’s harmless. We just… we found him unconscious and brought him in, unsure of who… or what he is exactly.”
“I love meeting things that are ‘whats,’” I murmur.
“Excellent, then you’re going to love meeting him,” she says before a terrified woman is pushed toward me. Imani takes the woman’s hand and smacks it against mine in the most forced high five. I almost feel like I’ve abused the woman by the way she recoils as I feel magic rush up my arms, much like it had when Vinny touched me. It means that the magic I’d borrowed from Vinny, which allowed me to manipulate metal, has been replaced with magic that allows me to understand languages I’ve never learned.
My magic revolves around the fact that I can “borrow” magic from others, which is simply done by touching them. This can be a curse or a blessing… depending on whether or not I want to borrow that person’s magic. I don’t get a choice, so the moment I touch the woman, I can feel her magic wash through my body, allowing me to claim it and use it as if it’s a magic I was born with and learned how to harness. It never affects the person when I borrow their magic; I’ve been told that there’s no sign that anything has changed for them.
If the person is a necromancer, I can suddenly raise the dead. An elemental mage? I can now harness the wind. But the instant I touch another person, my previous ability disappears and I’m left with the magic of whoever touched me last, which has been my downfall in a few fights when someone with poor magical ability has bumped into me.
“So what do you want from this person?” I ask Imani as the woman flees, pleased to have found someone else that Imani is willing to sacrifice.
“His name, where he came from, and who he is.”
“So like a dating profile,” Vinny unhelpfully adds.
I sigh and pull the door open, well aware that the sooner I do this, the better.
Unless… after I do this, she thinks I’m willing to do other things.
“I forgot I have an appointment in twenty,” I say, but Imani is having none of it as Kit leaps from her shoulder to mine. When I peek into the room and see what’s waiting for me—eating a bit of Kit’s fur since she nosily puts her face in front of mine—I pat Imani’s shoulder. “I… I fear I’ll have to do this alone.” And I shut the door before she can see inside. Then I hurry over to a chair which I’m prepared to sit in until they let me go free because whoever they were holding in this room is long gone.
I kick my feet up and pull out my phone to play a game while I wait. Kit likes to watch the ones with a lot of colorful boxes moving around the most, so I click one. For a while, she only wanted me to play the games that are made for cats and would often commandeer my phone to smack the little fish floating across the screen.
Imani jerks the door open, looks around, and scowls. “Where did he go? The door was shut… shit. Riley, give us a hand, would you?”
See?
Help her once… and now I’m in for the long haul.
With a sigh, I step out and head in a random direction, intending to find my way to the subway station, which isn’t far from here. I will hop on, ride home, and order my pizza.
“I’ll get chicken on it,” I promise Kit. She makes a happy noise about that.
I push open the door to the outside only to find myself flying through the air, having been hanging on to the door too tightly when someone decided ripping it off its hinges would be ideal.
A massive man cocks his head as he looks down at me. I’m not a short man at five ten, but this man is at least six seven. He’s extremely muscular, which is shown by the way his clothes appear to have been stitched onto him, allowing me to see every dip of muscle under his tanned skin. But it’s paired with a cloak and some kind of wrap that looks out of place. His dark hair falls to just below his ears and scruff covers his face.
He grabs my wrist, and I find it fascinating that there’s no zap of magic rushing up my arms when he does so since this man reeks of “magical being.” It’s definitely not interesting enough to willingly go with this strange man as he grabs a console table that held some paperwork (which is now all over the floor) and begins hauling me out to the stretch of land behind the department. I kind of feel like any man who can carry a table like that could throw me a significant distance and decide not to fight him too much.
“I really only needed mozzarella! If I hadn’t needed that cheese, I’d be curled up with a good book right now,” I grumble.
The man doesn’t slow or acknowledge that I’m talking, even though the magic I’d borrowed from the terrified translator should make it so he can understand me.
“What if… I pretend I didn’t see you, and I head home so you can continue on your way?”
That’s when this odd feeling starts seeping inside me. It makes me hesitate as I realize that whatever we’re heading toward is not good. I decide to put on the brakes, which means that I am dragged after the man like a rag doll. So here I am, feet skidding, man pulling me by my arm like I weigh nothing while he hauls a long decorative table over his shoulder as though it weighs five pounds.
I can feel the creature before I see it. It’s standing in the middle of a field, darkness rippling over its flesh almost like it’s oozing off it. It looks like a large hellhound, standing about as tall as a car and ready to eat anything it can get its paws on.
Noticing us, its shoulders hunch and it snarls, showing off fangs as long as my hands. And from the way it’s acting, it doesn’t seem like it overly enjoys people.
The man finally stops dragging me and sets me on my feet. Then he hands me the table and pats me on the head. I nearly drop the table, surprised by the weight of the heavy wood before I question why I’m even trying to hang on to the stupid thing and do drop it.
“Go on, peasant, your sacrifice will be remembered,” the man says as he pushes me toward the thing. I realize that whatever he’s speaking is a language I don’t immediately recognize the sound of, yet I can understand everything he’s saying.
And when I begin speaking, I find it easy to reply in his tongue. “Why the hell should I be the sacrifice? You be the sacrifice!” I snap. Truly, this woman’s magic is quite interesting. How can I understand and speak something I don’t know at all?
He laughs as he looks over at me, like what I’ve said is far more entertaining than the fact that our death is nigh. I’m out here with the fucking magical ability to talk to this asshole. Like how many creatures am I going to take down with the ability of speech?
“Dammit,” I snarl.
My speech didn’t go well.
The creature lunges toward us, and I dodge out of its path at the very last minute. I shove the table toward it just as the creature slams into the marble top, sending me flying before I slam down onto my back, but I use the momentum to roll up onto my feet.
“You’re doing better than I imagined,” the man says as he gives me a little clap from the sidelines.
The creature freezes when it hears the noise and must decide that it hates praise because it whips around and starts stalking toward him.
That wipes the smile right off the man’s handsome face. “No, no, now. I brought you a champion of the highest caliber to sate your bloodlust,” he declares.
“Did you? Did you?” I hiss. “You snatched up the first person you saw and flung me at the monster!”
“It is a peasant’s duty to fight for their god.”
“Ah, right. ‘My precious god,’ I will pray to you to save my ass,” I say, turning around and running toward the building while I struggle to pull out the pendant that’s on a chain around my neck. “We should have stayed home today, Kit.”
Kit agrees.
Something is batted at me, and I narrowly dodge it by falling right on my face. Kit is thrown off my shoulder and rolls a significant distance from me.
The world seems to shutter around me as I try to catch my bearings.
This is not ideal. This is not ideal at all.
I suddenly see the creature coming from directly behind me, and I try to twist, but I’m disoriented which gives the creature time to slam into me, driving me to the ground.
Swiftly, I jerk my pendant out and press my thumb against the third notch before I feel magic rush through my whole body. Just as I lift my hand, the monster’s head hits my chest then rolls off me.
Kit scurries onto the scene while the man dusts his hands off and looks down at me before grimacing, likely because it looks like I’ve just been dunked in a blood bath or like I’ve just been to the prom in Stephen King’s Carrie.
“If you could do that the whole time, why did you throw me out first?” I ask through gritted teeth.
“Details are for the weak,” he decides.
“What does that mean?” I snap. “I just wanted mozzarella. Mozzarella!”
He cocks his head. “This lust you have for your lover Mozzarella is really something beautiful. I hope I can love someone as much as you love Mozzarella someday.”
I just stand up, fully prepared to walk to the subway station looking like the main character in a horror movie. Who am I kidding; I was the side character that got offed in the second act.
Of course, now Imani and Vinny and half the department come jogging out. Now that we’ve nearly been murdered, consumed, and shit out by a giant beast.
OceanofPDF.com
Chapter Two

Riley
“What the hell happened?” Imani asks.
“What tongue does this woman speak?” the man asks in his language.
“English.”
“The sound of it… is quite grating on my ears. Teach her our tongue.”
“I’m using magic to talk to you. Everyone here speaks English.”
“I will banish this language and insist that anyone who doesn’t speak Shaarunen will be sacrificed on the spot.”
“Sounds good to me,” I say, turning to head for the subway station until Imani stops me because my pain is her pleasure.
“Why didn’t you tell us what was happening?” she asks.
“I’m sorry, at what point was I supposed to stop and let you know? Was it when I was dragged out here by a ridiculously strong man or when I was flung halfway across the field?”
The man, who can’t seem to understand us, leans in. “Is this woman the queen?”
“Yes. This is Queen Imani, pester her.”
“The way your words are filled with sass tells me that she is not the queen and you are trying to pass me off to a strange woman. I’ve never in my life encountered a person willing to stand up to me like this. I don’t know if I should have you executed or praise you.”
His dark brown eyes scrutinize me as though my expression will help him decide my fate.
“He wants to speak to our queen and is currently deciding if I will be executed,” I explain.
Imani appears concerned. “I’m sure he’s joking.”
I turn to the man. “Queen Imani believes you are hilarious.”
He beams. “Thank you. I am. I have decided I will keep you for now. At least until we tackle this pesky language problem.”
“Ask him the questions,” Imani prompts.
“Right, don’t forget the dating profile questions,” Vinny says.
I nod before addressing the man. “Where do you like to take long walks?”
“Across the battlefield among the bodies of my enemies,” he responds, which I then relay to Imani.
She looks a bit flustered. “Stop with the weird questions. His name. Do you even know his name yet?”
“I don’t care to know his name. Look at the man. He needs to be locked up, and I need to get home,” I say. “He’s over here declaring himself to be a god.”
Imani freezes. “He’s a god?”
She seems to be concerned by that for some reason. I turn back to the man. “What’s your name?”
“I am Torin, son of Kaides and Rena, God of War and Love. And yours, peasant?”
“Riley.”
He stares at me like he’s waiting for more, but oddly enough, I don’t generally introduce myself by claiming whose spawn I am. Or where I reside.
I pass on his ramblings to Imani, who looks more than a little shocked. “Do you really think he’s a god?”
“He looks like a god,” Vinny says as he watches the man who is doing some odd pose, like he wants to terrorize a person or two. Based on how almost everyone but Imani and Vinny back away, I think it’s working.
Imani opens her mouth to say something more when her phone rings. “Hold on. Hello?”
“Peasant, why is that one talking to herself? Is she a witch?”
“Do you guys burn witches where you come from?” I ask in his language.
“I’ve definitely killed a witch or two but never burned one. Are they flammable? Have I been doing it wrong all my life?”
I ignore that as Imani lowers her phone, looking rather concerned.
“We… we need to go. Riley, you need to stay with him. Please? You said you owed me one, and I’m finally cashing in on that.”
“I want to go home.”
“Then take him home. Please. Something’s happened, and I need to know that someone who can communicate with him is watching that man.”
I stare at her in disbelief while they rush off, leaving me alone with Torin the God of Something or Other from Something or Other.
“Did you say something to offend them?” Torin asks. “Or was it merely the look on your face that did it?”
“No, they had an emergency. And…” I grit my teeth, despising the fact that I really do owe Imani. Like… couldn’t she have been a pal and forgotten that? I really think that would have been best, and now here I stand, coated in blood, with some dude who thinks he’s a god, and I find myself wishing that I hadn’t gotten out of bed this morning.
“Are you aware there is vermin on your shoulder?”
I reach for Kit and set my hand on her back. “She is not vermin.”
“Or is it dinner?”
I stare at this man in disbelief and decide that I will simply leave him here. Anyone who calls Kit a bad name is a monster.
Storming back inside, I head to Vinny’s empty office and hunt around for some clothes I can borrow while Torin the Great and Annoying God of Something or Other trails after me, head on a swivel.
“The things in this building are very strange.”
“Not as strange as you are,” I inform him as I open a cupboard and find Vinny’s spare clothes. “Wait here. I’m going to go change my clothes because you had to kill the creature on top of me.”
“You should be praising me for saving your life.”
“Uh… huh.”
I head over to the restroom where there’s a shower. I make it quick, not wanting to spend more time here than I have to or someone will force me to do something else horrible. I bag up the bloody clothes, put on the loose but clean ones, and hurry to Imani’s office where I leave the bag on her desk as a present for her. Then I step into the hallway and see a man I don’t know well, but I am aware that he’s a low-level mage. I purposely bump into him and feel magic tingling up my arms.
Honestly, I simply want to test whether or not I can still understand Torin if I switch to a new magic. Some knowledge-based magic doesn’t leave since I technically “gained” the knowledge while using it, even once the magic is gone. So did the woman’s magic make it so I’ll continue to possess that knowledge? Or is it a type of magic I can only use after borrowing it?
A crash makes me hurry up, so I rush over to Vinny’s office where I narrowly dodge the desk phone being flung through the open doorway. Since I tilted my head to the side, it whips past me and slams into the wall out in the hallway.
“I have slain that annoyance. You are welcome.”
“You’ve slain the desk phone?” Sadly, I can still understand the man, telling me that the magic I’d momentarily borrowed is a permanent fixture… guess I can’t complain too much about that. Being able to understand other languages could come in handy… besides right now.
Because not dealing with this man would be most desirable.
“I regret everything,” I declare.
“That’s the spirit,” Torin says as he charges off without me. When he realizes I’m not coming, he claps his hands like I’m a dog, and I grudgingly follow him.
When we step outside the building, he looks to the left and then to the right. Then his head cranks back while he looks up at a skyscraper a bit of a distance from us.
“Who erected such a large structure?”
“I didn’t ask.”
His eyes narrow as he takes it all in. “Why is everything so tall?”
“So we can cram more buildings next to each other.”
“This is very suspicious. I feel like you are compensating for something if you need your building to be that tall.”
“That’s definitely it.”
He nods approvingly while he looks around some more as though everything he’s seeing is magical, and we’re not even close to the main part of the city.
“Where are the horses?”
“We don’t have horses.”
“Where are the mounts?”
“We’re taking the subway.”
“What a stupid name for a horse. Then again, your lover’s name is Mozzarella.”
I decide that I’ll let him believe whatever he wants to believe as I start down the sidewalk toward the subway station. This area is pretty dead, so thankfully we don’t pass any pedestrians while he gazes this way and that, taking it all in. If I were a curious man, I would realize that he’s likely not from these parts—or even this realm—and possibly ask him where the hell he came from. But I am not. I’m a hungry man who missed lunch and am close to missing dinner at this point.
A hungry man who is suddenly being forcefully thrown into the gutter where Torin uses my body as a shield when a car flies on by.
“I have saved your life twice now. You will be my servant until you die from old age.”
Saved my life? From what?! “It was a car… a car.”
“You are most welcome, human. What was your name again? I will rename you. Hugh Man. Your name will be Hugh Man. Ha. I am hilarious.”
I watch as another car comes and he proceeds to hook an arm around my chest and pin my entire body against his, feet lifted off the ground while he uses me like a shield, prepared to battle the vehicle. And I’m just… a part of this and I have no damn idea why. Kit tries to comfort me by wrapping her tail around my neck.
Eyeing the car, Torin declares, “That monster has eaten a human. We should extract the body and have a proper send-off.”
“Those things? Those are our mounts,” I explain because I feel confident that if I don’t explain it soon, he’s going to start a brawl with the next car that comes cruising by. And for some reason, I’m pretty sure the car isn’t going to win. He sets me down, seemingly satisfied that the car has moved on.
“I see… they have eaten their owners. We should execute them all.”
“You ride inside them.”
“How morbid.”
“Yep. That’s us. Morbid.” I hurry off… which would have worked better if he wasn’t still holding on to me. I try to disentangle myself, but it’s difficult to do so since he clings on tight while warily staring at every vehicle that passes by.
This should have forewarned me how the subway was going to go. Instead, I naively charge down the stairs, smack my card against the card reader twice, and proceed to watch Torin battle the old turnstiles that this station still uses. He kicks it, which just makes it spin once, and then suddenly his leg is caught in it and he’s tumbling through it while I simply observe… and enjoy, until he kicks it so hard the metal is now bent in the completely wrong direction.
“That thing was trying to get frisky with me.”
“That’s definitely what was happening,” I say as we head down more stairs and finally reach the subway platform. It’s at this point, when I can hear the subway coming, that I realize I should warn him. “You know the ‘mounts’ outside? Well, this is also a mount. Just a long one, alright?”
“Are we killing it?”
“No, we’re riding in it. You’re not from this realm, are you? You know what? That’s a silly question. You’re very obviously not.”
Torin grabs his shield—me—and takes up a battle stance as the subway arrives. He actually handles it better than I expected, not fearful at all… more bloodthirsty than anything. I hurry to get in but I’m connected to an immovable force.
“We have to get inside,” I tell him.
“You think I’m going to let a mere peasant talk me into climbing into the belly of that beast? Please, don’t make me laugh. We will ride on top of it.”
“That is how you get beheaded.”
I gesture toward every single other person—both human and nonhuman—clambering on in without a care in the world. Most look bored out of their minds. And then there’s us… convinced death is upon us and prepared to fight our way through it.
“It’s not living. It’s made of metal!” I explain.
“I am disappointed in you.”
What the hell did I do?
And off the subway goes, leaving us standing here in battle position.
“This is fine. This is very much fine,” I mumble to myself.
“You seem lifeless; clearly these things have sucked the very life from your bones,” Torin declares.
“Trust me, it wasn’t the subway that did that.”
“Come, servant, we will use these legs we were given and walk to our next destination.”
“Okay,” I say, lulling him into a false sense of security so he releases me just as another subway car stops in front of me and I swiftly walk right through those open doors. It’s rather crowded, but there’s enough space for us as the “god” stands there looking absolutely flabbergasted that I went against his wishes.
I give him a grin and pull out my phone, prepared to text Imani that I lost the godly creature somewhere on the subway line, when he slides his hands in between the doors just as they are closing and forces them open.
The recording of “Please stand clear of the doors” begins going off as he takes one step and then another into the car. All eyes shift to him, and I can feel the way the crowd tenses up. Seeing nonhuman beings isn’t unusual, but even though Torin appears human, there’s something different about him. Something that makes it impossible to look away. Tension fills the subway car as the realization hits the crowd that the lives of every single person here are in this man’s hands.
I don’t blame them. While they haven’t experienced it, I saw it in the way he handled the hellhound, moving so quickly I could barely track him, not to mention the strength it took to cut the beast’s head clean off.
And Imani is just letting him go with me?
Does she realize this too and is trying to keep me near him in case he’s here with ill intentions? Does she still think I’m the person I used to be?
What a joke.
The doors shut and he steps up to me while everyone holds their breath. It’s like they are now convinced this man is here to murder me, and they’re not sure whether they want to run or watch.
“You dare leave me, Torin the Great God of⁠—”
The subway takes off and Torin immediately loses his balance. He grabs me by the front of my shirt, ripping me right off my feet before we go sprawling into the crowd of onlookers who get to catch our bodies, and Torin nearly depants a guy as he goes down.
And I just… start laughing.
Here I am, clinging to a stranger while Kit hangs on, nails digging into my shoulder. I’m deliriously laughing at a god who has his arms wrapped around a man’s waist, his face smashed right up against the man’s junk as the subway chugs along toward its final destination without a single care in the world.
“You dare laugh at me?” Torin barks.
“This is karma for trying to be so badass for no reason at all. Your face when you fell!”
“Tell this beast to slow the fuck down!”
I manage to choke down my laughter long enough to apologize to the man who caught me and then head over to help Torin up. By the time I reach him, the subway car has stopped and the doors have opened.
Torin rushes for the open doors only for them to shut in his face and off we go again.
“What a disobedient creature!”
This time, I grab him and press him against a bar, which he hangs on to like it might save his life.
“I will assassinate this creature as soon as it stops moving.”
I stand in front of him while I try to fight off my smile. “Torin, it’s fine. It’s just moving fast, so you lost your balance. It’s nothing to be so embarrassed over.”
His eyes narrow. “I’ve never been embarrassed once in my life.”
“For sure,” I say as I pull out my phone and order pizza for delivery while he’s busy cussing out the subway.
Then I snap a picture of Torin hugging the bar for dear life and send it to Imani.

Me: I don’t think he’s going to make it. What do you think happens to us when we lose a god on the subway line?

Me: Actually, I think I might leave him on here. Make sure you catch him on the return trip.

Imani: Are you terrorizing the man? He’s a literal god and you’re… what the hell are you doing, Riley?

Me: I laughed in his face when he fell.
I look up at Torin. “We’re getting off at the next stop. Think you can do it?”
“We are taking horses from now on. Fuck this shit. The mounts in this realm are less than desirable. So is the hospitality.”
“Understandable,” I say as the doors open up and I grab his hand, helping him through them where he spins around and kicks the side of the subway a second before it takes off again.
He seems gratified. “Did you see it run in fear?”
“Ah, yes, sure did. It cowered under the feel of your boot.”
Torin perks up a bit at that, pleased to have thoroughly disciplined the subway, as I lead him up the stairs and out into the street.
His head is on a swivel the entire way while he takes in all of the people, the noise, and the chaos. I have to assume by this point that wherever this man came from, technology doesn’t exist like it does here.
We weave our way through the alleys toward a back road that is much quieter, finally walking up to an apartment building.
“This is your home?”
“Yes… well, an apartment inside the building.”
He follows me up the stairs to the third floor and over to my door which I open before waving him inside. He glances around and nods. “Your foyer is nice and open.”
“Uh… no… this is my home. Kitchen, living room, and bedroom all in one room. Cozy, right? At least the toilet is behind a door.”
Torin is quiet for a moment before going, “This disgusts me.”
“Good.”
The “god” looks around the room and immediately declares the space inhospitable for him.
“This is where you chose to keep me? Is this a joke? Do I need to reiterate the whole⁠—”
Cutting him off, I say, “I’m just a lowly peasant who welcomed you into my humble home. Please, take pity on me and blame those who placed you in my care. What you should do is climb back inside the subway beast and ride it back to that place we were just at and demand justice from them. Someone of your high caliber should never be left to suffer as you have.”
He nods. “You are right. You are merely a peasant, and you’ve extended what little you have toward me. I am grateful to you for sharing what you have.”
I scowl at the man and question who decided my fate on this boring Friday.